please can I have some advice for dealing with poor leaders at work they
have little respect for and a question as a subordinate how do you handle a
leader who leads from a place of ego and isn't transparent with information yes
so these were a couple questions actually that I got and I just kind of
bunched them together because my answer is gonna be very similar for each of
them and it's actually very similar to a situation that I'm dealing with right
now the chasm helping out and I wrote something to him
recently and what happened was he's in a situation where a leader had come in
that didn't have the knowledge inside the industry they were working in so he
came from another industry got put into a leadership position and that guy that
new leader was resisting change and not giving support to the new procedures
that the guy was coaching was trying to implement so he was kind of you know at
a loss for what to do you know you got this new manager that's coming in that's
inexperienced and he and the guy I'm coaching obviously doesn't respect him
because it doesn't have a lot of knowledge in this industry and so here's
the advice I gave I said you need to set this up to make the new manager look
good make some adjustments to the words you are choosing the tact you are taking
and the focus you are using to ensure that your changes make him look good not
bad now this is so counterintuitive for people it's so counterintuitive cuz they
gets that person that's above them in the chain of command that doesn't know
as much as them that's not as smart as them and what do they want to do they
want to bring them down they want to prove to everybody that they're better
I'm better than that guy they drowned that guy I deserve that guy's job that's
what everybody's instinct is to do mm-hm and it's wrong it's wrong
somehow let the ideas come from him or make him the approver or the driver of
some of the s aspects that he can handle so I'm actually saying go out of your
way to make this easier for this guy make him look good give him credit it's
your ego that wants to pull him down put your ego in check
help him without being condescending or acting like you know more than him he
shouldn't even know you are helping him have you ever been this is so fun to do
is when you know EKKO doesn't know this section of the equipment mm-hmm so I
don't say hey since you don't know this I'll teach it to you right this
condescending tone of you know but instead of like hey have you ever seen
the way this one works I know you have you ever seen this specific equipment
before because the way it works it's a little bit different than some of the
other ones is you got to do this this and this and you can sit back and you
can accept that knowledge without feeling like you don't know it right so
I'm teaching you but I'm doing it a clandestine management and that's what
we're trying to do because we're trying to build Oh charity we're trying to
build a relationship here that's what we're trying to do we're trying to build
a relationship and if I go since you don't know how to use this I'll show you
now what does that do put you on the defensive makes you considered me to be
a threat now I'm threatening and that's not good he should even know you are
helping him respect what he does and show him that you respect it so hey you
know I know this is you probably haven't been down the weeds on this type of gear
in a while but hey this is the way you don't know saying like you actually I
actually respect the fact that you're up top in charge and I'm just a frontline
guy but here's how you do this if you ever add to right you know what I mean
just downplay what he doesn't know and subtly help him to learn it right you
know you probably would never have to do this this this new equipment over here I
mean I know it's a little bit below your level here's how it works if you ever
needed it boom you don't mean not like you don't know how to do this right
you don't want an adversarial relationship with this new leader you
want him to support and help you he will do that if you are making him look good
this is so easy man this is so easy and so hard because
everybody's ego will get in the way everybody's Eagle will get in the way
extreme ownership often requires covert and clandestine indirect actions so all
these things that I'm talking about helping the guy without him knowing
letting him take credit for ideas without him knowing all these little
aspects they're indirect actions they're not going head to head it's like jujitsu
it's jujitsu all the time everything's jujitsu you don't want to
if you know I'm gonna do an armbar mm-hmm I'm not gonna get the armbar
right you're gonna defend that so I have to go take indirect actions and set
things up and take my time and be clandestine and covert this is chess not
checkers this is where you need to master your ability to influence which
as we talked about a little couple podcasts ago is actually manipulation
I'm manipulating this guy to think that he's got something over me I'm inflating
his ego while I'm putting my ego in check I'm making him feel like he's even
better and that makes him feel good it makes him want to support me because I
make him look good this is this is just basic if you do this wrong the new
manager will resist you at every turn if you do this right he will be your
biggest supporter now this is the same thing with leaders that you're
quote/unquote don't respect first of all there should be something that you
respect about everybody everybody that you meet you should have some kind of
respect for them and by the way if you don't respect someone what is making you
not respect them hmm it's your ego it's your ego that makes you not respect
people because you think oh I'm better than them I should have their job
they don't know what they're talking about and I do mm-hmm
that's all ego so put your ego in check and just be like okay this person's
above me they seem really inexperienced but what can I learn from them how did
they get there if they're so dumb and bad at this job how come they outrank me
mm-hmm let me learn something from them let me learn something from them
put your ego in check and this is the key point and any time I talk about
quote-unquote leading up the chain of command I will talk about this that no
matter what boss I work for and I work for every different kind of boss
egomaniac psychopaths wonderful guys intelligent guys brilliant guys
tactician I work for every different kind of boss
and I always had the same relationship with all of them that was my job was to
build that relationship and that was a relationship of high trust so they trust
me they were to stay out of my way and let me do what I wanted and that's how
you win which by the way when you win they should never know you win they
shouldn't even know that there was a competition happening and that way you
can do what you want and so that is how you deal with people above you and the
chain of command that you have little respect for or that lead from a place of
ego you build a relationship with them you don't go head to head with them
you're not gonna win going head to head with your boss they're your boss they
have rank on you if they're an egomaniac they're gonna use that rank mm-hmm if
there's someone that you don't respect you gotta build a relationship with them
if there's someone that's an egomaniac you gotta build a really regardless of
the situation the solution is the same build the relationship of trust help
them build them up take a back seat let them get credit it's all those things
and once you do that you're gonna have you're gonna have much better results
than if you try and bang heads with them overcome them defeat them have an
antagonistic relationship with them it's never gonna work mm-hmm
so play the game