It's time to make an ass out of me and you!
You and me? You and- you- You and me!
I know how to English! I asked you guys on Instagram to assume some things about Philly,
both funny and serious, maybe a bit funrious. I felt very vulnerable
asking thousands of people to judge my inner-most core, but I thought it might be
entertaining, so why not? (laughs) I'm just gonna dive straight in!
Actually, before I dive straight in, do you like my Cowboy Bebop top?
It's making me wanna watch it again! Also, I got a pig plinth! (honk)
How do I still not know where to point?! It's been 47 years, Phil!
I got a- (laughs) I got a pig plinth, which is now the most iconic piece of furniture
in this house.
Let's ass shoom (assume)!
You have a secret wife.. You're right, (laughs) I do.
The gay thing was just for views. Lorraine! They've found us out!
What do you mean this marriage was over? Your boobs were so (gasp) firm.
You haven't been to a gay club since coming out. Alright, are you assuming that
because I'm a nerd, or because 50% of the time since coming out I've been locked down?
Either way, you would be right. Me and clubs are not the most mix-y things.
The main activity is dancing, I mean I'm sure you can do some other activities at a
gay club, but you know what I mean. I don't like dancing! I prefer a gay bar,
or a gay video game night, or a gay (caw) safari.
Clubs, not really my fav, never say never!
Maybe I will have a wild night sometime in my future! It's unlikely though.
You see a therapist. What are you implying? I'm someone with issues?
That need to talk about them? Well, probably.
I don't actually see a therapist and I never have. Dan really thinks I should,
because of some of my issues with anxiety that I have, but I've never really got round to it
and I just don't answer the phone when someone (laughs) calls me.
You don't edit your videos. How could you think I don't edit my videos with all the
Phillism's I throw into them (angry no). I am a control freak, I like to be in charge
of this baby. Maybe I could make more videos if I had an editor, so maybe I could
hand over the reins a little bit to someone. I could still add in the occasional
guinea pig flying across the screen, but they could just chop out all of the bits
where I can't speak. which is 50% of me trying to film (laughs).
(Phil not being able to talk)
Let's say hi to Phil at the editing chair, how you doing Phil?
Hey buddy, I'm doing well, just edited the guinea pig flying across the screen,
I did try to eat an ice lolly while editing, and it resulted in this, sad times.
You read your indirects. No, I feel like that's kind of eavesdropping like
if someone's talking about you in a different room and you're listening anyway.
Unless someone's talking to me directly, I don't think I need to hear it.
Let's have a look now, I'm kind of curious. Whew, it's nice. Someone's phone was
saying that me and Thomas Sanders are the same person? Have you ever seen us in the
same room? Maybe you have, anyway I will take that as a compliment, he's a very sexy man,
thank you very much. You've had something going on off-camera that you've not talked
to us about? Have I been vibing out that something's been going on?
And I haven't been telling ya? Because you- you would be right. Hopefully I've not been off,
I don't think I have. Basically, this entire year I've been dealing with
a strange form of dizziness, from very bad to slightly like I'm on a boat.
Today, I'm boat vibes. I've had about 5 different types of scans so they know it's
nothing scary, we think it's something about my nerve being compressed and
throwing off my sense of balance in a way? We've been tryna find ways for my nerves to
chill out, I'm taking some tablets which has really helped with the dizziness,
and I'm not longer lying on the sofa 50% of the time, I can go about my day-to-day life,
and I had the entire back of my head numbed, which is a strange sensation, but that's
helped too, haven't fully got to the bottom of it yet. Might feel a little bit
dizzy every so often, but generally I'm alright which is cool because it was a bit
scary, but I'm definitely feeling more myself now than.. I was.
You made something a very bright colour in the new house. I chose the colour of this
bright greeny-blue sofa, which I regret because it's the same colour as my phone!
Whenever I leave my phone on the sofa it just goes full chameleon and disappears
from my life. You're platinum rank in Apex Legends.
I play this game for about an hour everyday but I'm still pretty terrible. I once got gold,
which is my best achievement. Here's my character page, for any Apex nerds.
You have another fish but haven't told use as Norman can't be replaced.
Ooh a fishsprifricy! Why do you assume I wouldn't tell you guys about that?
There is no secret fish, Normani still has a tender place in my heart,
although I think we will inevitably get another fish, because Dan has taken up
the pretentious hobby of aquascaping, which means making and looking at fish tanks
that look like beautiful landscapes. He's currently making one at the moment,
so there will be a Norman 2 at some point, I don't know if we'll call it Norman 2,
I kinda wanna call it Norman 2 (laughs) but he needs to finish crafting
his mountain first. You are a Disney gay, what's a Disney gay?
How is it different to a Disney straight? I wasn't really brought up with Disney,
I like it, but I'm not obsessed with it. Your parents both speak like the Queen.
My mum is very northern, and whenever I speak to her on the phone I'm like 'ello,
and then my dad is southern, and then they mixed together and made me,
that sounded weird, and my accent, now having lived in London, is probably more
similar to my dad, than it is to my mum. But then when I see my mum in person,
I'm like 'ello! Where's the scran? You dress your top half first!
Are there people out there that dress their top half first?! What if there's a fire?!
Then you're just running out in a jumper with your ass hanging out! You need
to cover that up first! then you can put your top on at your own leisure!
I feel like you were a Niall girl. Err (laughs) when we met them Harry was
actually nicest to me, when we were leaving he was like "That was great, thank you."
and that stuck with me as a little friendly goodbye so Harry was actually my fav.
You probably say yellow when answering the phone. Are you assuming I answer the phone?
Do you even know who I am? You're the person that makes others feel comfortable at a
gathering or party by either talking or engaging. I think I do that out of awkwardness
for myself, like if I can sense someone's feeling awkward, then it makes me feel
awkward, so I might try and make conversation with them.
It might be a bit of a selfish act but I do like to make people feel included
if they look left out. You were popular in high school.
Nah, I was not one of the popular kids, I was more of an inbetweener.
My friend group was interesting because it was mixed, so there were boys and girls,
and most people either had a group of lads, or a group of girls but we were like
a mixed group, which I think benefited all of us a lot more.
There was a lot of drama when someone kissed someone else's boyfriend, meanwhile I was
wishing I could kiss (laughs) someone else's boyfriend. You're definitely the first guy
to stand up on a plane when it lands to grab your overhead luggage. I am offended
that you think I'm that guy? Unless you've got a connecting flight, why would you want
to go stand at the front of the plane for 20 minutes when you could be sat in your seat?
I'll just sit and play my switch until its my time to go, and enjoy that extra time
on my butt. Ooh one from an actual friend, it's Louise! That you would be a lovely dog
owner, very responsible and kind. Aww, really? I mean I can't really look after myself,
so it's nice that you think I would care for a dog (laughs) so well.
If I did have a little hound, I would dedicate my entire life to it so
I think you are right. You shop at M&S. (laughs) What does that imply?!
I'll go in there for the Percy pigs, or if they do Santa's yumnut again,
(laughs) I want a bit of Santa's yumnut. Your online persona is not the same as
your in-person persona. Do you really think that? Do you really think that I
just switch off the camera and that I'm a secret assassin or something? I think
lots of YouTubers do have a persona, but when I've hung out with other people from
the internet, they're always so shocked at how I am so similar to how I am in my videos,
cause this is kinda just me chatting to the camera and being myself and I'm not putting
a person out there that isn't me, I feel like that would be too hard to do
because I'm a terrible actor (laughs) so if I was pretending
I would just have such a hard time making videos because it would be so draining.
I've definitely got more energy in videos because I wanna be upbeat and entertaining
for you guys, but if I went out for dinner with you right now
I would be just like this, maybe with less editing and jumpcuts,
and a little bit more swearing, but apart from that, THIS IS ME!
Your name is Phillip with two L's?? What is this slander? Why would I lie about that?
One L gang over here, the others are the imposters.
I'm a Phil ip, they're a Phil lip. You have cold, clammy hands? (laughs)
Why would you say that?! They are cold, you got half of that right but there is no clam.
Half of the assumptions have been about what you like doing it with your ass.
You would be correct! Why do some people assume things stereotypically?
Based on people's personalities. If anything, the suggestions were about 50/50 in my inbox.
So I dunno what that says, but it shouldn't say anything. You don't know what a
monotreme is? You are right (laughs) I don't. Is it some kind of sexual
device I'm googling it... no! (laughs)
The opposite of a sexual device. Aww, it's like a little hedgehog thing.
Highly specialized, egg-laying, predatory manimals. I've just spent like 10 minutes
reading about monotremes. My favourite of all of them is the platypus.
Err hi, so I got to the last assumption, and then just forgot to record an ending.
(laughs) I don't know why, so this is your ending! Thanks for watching,
thanks for assuming mainly nice things about me, and if you enjoyed it,
please give me a thumbs up, subscribe if you want, go and watch my last video,
it was a whole hoot, and I hope you're having a good life. And I'll see you
very soon, from me and from Phil of the past. That was not a good place to pause.
Bye!