Hello everybody! My name is Markiplier and welcome back to "I Am Bread"
Now the last episode went amazingly well!
Which by definition means that this episode is gonna be
hell unlike I've ever seen before in my life.
But I think I'm ready for that!
I think I'm gonna be ok with that because I-
-am a man of patience and understanding?
That doesn't seem like me.
(Warning: Sex noises up ahead!) Ah, ah~
Ooh!
Are those wisps of wind?
And if so, why?
Oh no.
Ohhhhhh nooooo!
It's alright! I don't need to give in to panic so soon.
Just need to-
Uh! Ooh, yeah.
Ok.
I have no idea where I'm going, if anybody could point me in the right direction
...or I could keep scooting this entire bin along the sidewalk.
I'll get to where I need to go eventually, I suppose.
I'm guessing--
[groaning]
Okay. Alright.
That IIIIIII--
Ay, chihuahua!
-still not where I wanted you to be but ok.
There, pointed at the flower!
I'm guessing I need to go towards the flower!
Oh, you can't grab that, can you?
OH! Eager-beaver much?
Ohh,
Ok.
Now- now what the fuck do I do?
Why did I do this?
Oh, god!
Heup
Uh-oh!
[inhales]
Oop!
Hah! Oh god!
Oah!
[giggling]
Oh
I've discovered a see-cret.
Eugh [grunting]
Haha!
[laughs in French]
Heh!
Hoh hoh!
Uh-huh
Enchante! Oh, fuck--
Ah! Where am I going?
Ooh! Rock.
[screaming]
You are a... delightful loaf
Che-too!
(Close your eyes as Mark does his noises...)
I don't know where I go from here!
Oh! Hi!
[screaming] NO!
Oh... Oh
[Heartbroken sigh.]
Oh!
They have shovel-like leaves
Eh-heh-heh!
Why do I keep doing flip-floppy like that?
I don't like doing flip f-
--LAAAP--
--y like that.
[exhales]
I'm not gonna make that jump, am I?
Hah!
Nailed it!
Doesn't it matter how much dirt I get, I guess.
It's all the same when I'm toast
[screaming]
Uh, camera no! Camera don't betray me!
[screaming] No!
Ah, ah!
[screaming] No!
Oh fuck!
[Silent anguish]
Ugh! Ooh!
Haha- Oh, ah, wait- ah-
It's so weird it's like left-
No don't le-
No!
What!? No!
Oh, euh, oh!
Grab desperately!
Cling to life!
Oh, what are you doing!?
Who-!
Oh, why!? Why!? Why!?
I'm not touching the ground, I swear!
[screaming] I'm not! I'm not! I'm not!
Oh fucking hell!
[screaming] Oh god, oh god! Where am I!?
What am I!?
Oh god, oh no- oh-
[grunting and groaning]
[orgasm]
[gurgling noises]
Guh!
Oh, my grip is so gonna run out
I have no idea where I'm going
Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god
[screams]
[sighs]
[sharp inhale]
Had that, and then I lost that.
I knew that the last one was too easy for me
Is that piece of fence smirking at me?
You see that little fence post there with the smile?
It is fucking mocking me
and I don't appreciate that
(close your eyes) Oh yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah, baby
Oh yeah baby
[more oh yeahs]
Oh yeah baby~
I'm the man... with the plan
And- thank you ma'am
[says 'don't' repeatedly]
[grunts]
Why, why, why can't you move?
Why, why can- whoa!
Hey, okay, alright! You don't get angry at me!
I'm trying to stand it up long ways so I can get out of here but--
oOhhh.
Ohheyyy
Whoa, lotta attitude in a small piece of bread. Okay.
[nervous grunty laughter?]
No, not yet, you eager beaver.
Oh-hoh, not yet.
Not- not- Ohhhooohhh
[Screaming]
Can you just-- Oh my god, oh my god,
Ohhh ohhh my gaaaaawd.
...Okay, this didn't help any
[Panicked groan]
I thought you were falling over.
I thought you were falling. Oh- AH!
Not yet, you eager beaver! HAH.
[Sharp inhale]
AH! NO! WHAT ARE YOU DOING, NOOOO!
JUST GET UP THERE. WHY-- AUGH.
I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY YOU'RE A SACK OF SHIIIIIT!
I'm gonna need to have a heart-to-heart with you, if you're going to behave like that
when I make a simple manoeuvre as ROTATE
And you're gonna somehow be like THAT, we're gonna have an issue here.
Now, I need you to decide if you're gonna behave yourself, or be a sack of shit.
OH NO YOU WERE RIGHT THERE!
WHY ARE YOU GRABBING NOOOOOOOTHING?
IM cLeArly TrYinG tO rOtatE yOu buT yOu'Re nOt-
Oh, y- you're gonna have an attitude
about this, are you?
EUGH, FUcKinG oh my gahhhd...
*inhale* MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
BREH
I don't like you, and you don't like me...
But ya know, we gotta geEEEEeet
through this togetherrr...
doing great friend-o, whoAOHOwwhoa whoa whoa whAAAH
why here are you such a piece a' shit
Wh- OH WHY
WHY
OH WHY
Oh...
Why? Why here...
Why here are you a sack of shit?
I can't even see why!
BECAUSE YOU GOT A PIECE OF A STALK...
in your way. AAH!!!
ppppppphhhhhhhh
Okay. So far so goo
I'm trying to agree with you here, okay?
You just keep changing your MIND!
(Look at Mark's face) OHOHOHOHOHOH!
Ohohohohohoh.
(GASP)
(grunting)
Okay... Alright...
OKAY!
I don't know what it is
about you being in a potted plant...
..but you turn into such a RAGING ASSHOLE.
when you don't know how does that help ever anybody know okay we'll do it this
way then if you like this better that's okay oh oh oh
(Sex noises, close your eyes)
(ORGASM)
(More sex noises, close your eyes!)
nailed it what does this mean that we're up here where her oh I love that we live
in Silent Hill do I climb up this wall should be okay oh oh gentle like a
breeze oh yeah we can make it all the way over there can't we wow you're
slanting that's a new uh-oh use a pee no keep going keep going go go you got
no time you got a go buddy you got a go that's a buddy all body or body whoa
haha oh yeah oh yeah oh you are so cool I could *le kisses* kiss you
*kisses air*
grill baby grill get down there get down there from the wall oh yeah oh no love
lost on the brick just don't oh your Oh would you break dancing I like that you
got it okay I can get over there if I can figure out how to light it
there's matches on the top of it okay we have a will we have a way and I don't
know where to go but I'm gonna find out
(More sex, close your eyes)
that no oh yes that's got oh god we're running out of time
uh-uh safety oh so close don't let me lose don't let me lose now
hoho I could kiss you remember you could kiss
you you want that right all right I'm gonna make my jump a little easier here
oh boy oh boy oh boy I know I don't have to nudge but it makes me feel safe
faster oh yeah oh yeah I'm adamastor oh not the master but a pretty good stuff
just like that baby oh just like that oh yeah oh oh yeah oh yeah
no it's not where I want to be Oh God oh no oh no oh go at swings whoa whoa whoa
hey whoa ha okay how the fuck do I do this oh oh that's how okay so how do i
oh how do i ha ah okay that's also an option
apparently oh I don't I don't know if that works
Oh God oh I don't know how to deal with this I think if I push all of it down
it'll oh that not oh oh no oh no oh no oh no just fall fall fall fall fall no
oh okay all right this is bizarre and weird and
I'm okay with it oh it's burning me oh it's burning me oh god oh god it burns
oh fuck okay owl number one owl and number two
hawk you go that way Oh nope yes no what what I'm gonna fall on you
you better not fuck me over fuck me over I was about to be fucked I am a little
unevenly toasted right now but i'ma go I'm okay with that
so long as you decide not to be a sack of shit and fall the other way oh all
right okay enough scoop are not goofing me guys I'm
I'm thoroughly goof you can you can leave the goof egde to someone else
later then okay those can fall out that's fine I'm fine with that all I
want to do have some goddamn fun ha ha ha
flap on you get the glue ah it though I almost have to glue in that it fell out
okay got the glue why did you do that you just flipped the other one ah see
just like that just like that just like that that's all you got do well you guys
all know oh my god are you kidding me hey are you fucking kidding me
(Grudgified, call a doctor!)
are you cool okay okay so I don't even care if I get on the grill now I just
want to be cooked that's all I want I'm a try yeah that's a good toasting
okay enough on that quadrant da da a blammo up little more up blam
okay right we've been bland enough on that end
ah there you have it oh that one was a nightmare okay but I'm okay cuz there's
only one lever left if I can do that one I'm gonna be so happy right my life is
gonna be filled with joy that's how this works right if you win a game you don't
get a part of your soul removed you get to have joy in like an achievement or
something hmm so I'm going to do that so thank you everybody so much for watching
and as always I will see you in the next video bye bye