This is the story of the statue of lucifer… that kept getting sexier… and oh man did
it piss off the church.
You’re not going to believe this one.
I couldn’t make this up if I tried.
This story has it all: blasphemy, sex appeal, horror, and humor.
Just imagine… you’re the leader of a church and you want to commission a statue of lucifer
to represent just how bad that darn devil is.
But the only problem is… when you get it… he’s not the ugly, villainous, horned demon
you were expecting… in fact, he’s making the women in your pews sin, fall into temptation,
if you know what I mean.
It couldn’t get worse than that could it?
Ohh but it could.
This is the story of the statue of lucifer that was too sexy but kept getting sexier.
Hey guys my name is Morgue and I’m an ex-Christian and RTS survivor spreading truth and blasphemy.
My content is controversial as hell so instead of spamming some sponsor I like to shout out
those supporting my channel.
If you like what I’m about then hit the like button and make sure you subscribe because
when you do it tells YouTube to spread this like fire.
So it hit NOW.
The place is The Cathedral of Saint Paul in Liege, Belgium.
The time is 1837.
The Cathedral is freaking gorgeous.
I mean look at this.
That’s a sexy building with awe inspiring gothic architecture, decadent staircases,
religious imagery.
Just look at those curves.
But one thing was missing: the devil.
So, the Cathedral commissioned a sculpture named Joseph Geefs to create various statues
of religious figures like saints and Lucifer.
And oh boy... did he.
So the theme of the commission was the “Triumph of Religion over the Genius of Evil” HOLD
UP A MINUTE.
Triumph over religion over the genius of evil?
You see what they did there?
Why is the church always equating intelligence with evil?
Dumb.
Anyway, lucifer was going to go right behind the pulpit so that he’d be turning his back
on the other religious imagery.
So Joseph Geefs set to work carving Lucifer from beautiful white marble and it was installed
in the church in 1843.
And that’s when things started to get… deliciously sinful.
See, in the bible Lucifer isn’t some ugly red demon with horns.
He’s described as a beautiful and wise angel of light and that’s exactly what Joseph
Geefs captured in... quite a sexy way.
When Joseph unveiled the statue the Church was probably pretty shocked.
Lucifer is depicted barely wearing anything at all, his legs are coyly crossed, with just
a cloth covering his... holy rod.
His long flowing hair falls softly on his shoulder as he lounges seductively on a rock.
This is soft, sexy, and androgynous Lucifer is probably far from the satanic devil the
church had in mind but Joseph’s statue is much more biblically accurate.
The only hints at the typical “evil” the Church likes to associate with Lucifer are
his bat wings and serpent at his feet.
HOLD ON ONE SECOND.
I’m sure you know why the church associated Lucifer with the serpent.
In the garden of Eden the serpent/lucifer tempts eve to eat the forbidden fruit from
the tree of knowledge.
But have you ever thought about it?
God makes the tree forbidden and tells Adam and Eve they’ll die if they eat from knowledge.
Lucifer wants them to eat from knowledge.
And he’s the bad guy here?
There goes the church making intelligence seem evil again.
But you should check out my video about a banned story where adam and eve reveals god
is actually the devil.
It makes a lot more sense and there’s a card.. right there.
ANYWAY!
Back to the story.
The church just had delivered their oh so delicious devil.
Well, the Church, probably very reluctantly, installed the statue right behind the pulpit
but things didn’t go too well for them.
According to the local press Lucifer was turning up the heat, that sexy devil (laugh I’m
really enjoying this video, I hope you are too) that sexy devil was so distracting to
the women in the audience they couldn’t concentrate on the sermons.
And let’s be honest, it probably wasn’t just the women.
Of course, sin and fun aren’t allowed.
The Church declared “the devil is too sublime” and boring Bishop Bommel ordered its removal.
First cast out of heaven for wanting to be God and now thrown out of church for being
too sexy.
Poor Lucy can’t catch a break.
He was soon purchased by William the second, King of the Netherlands for his… private
enjoyment…
I mean collection.
But to the dismay of the Church they weren’t out of the fire because things were about
to get hotter.
The Church was still missing a Satan in their religious imagery.
They needed a replacement.
So what did they do?
They swapped out one Geef for another.
That is, they got rid of Joseph Geefs and hired his older bother, Guillaume.
Guillaume?
Guillaume… let me look this up…
Guillaume was more famous than his younger brother and they most likely needed a statue
of Lucifer that would fit in with the other sculptures Joseph created.
Surely his famous older brother would be just the person to capture that sinful demon.
Well, it certainly was sinful.
See, the Churches main complaint about the original statue was that it was too beautiful
to represent the devil, which proved to be very distracting for the congregation.
A vow of celibacy and naked lucifer is not a holy combination.
Reviewers of the piece also didn’t like the fact that Lucifer was androgynous.
The original piece created by Joseph has seductively feminine features, and to them this was not
befitting of Satan.
They said it was too "gentle and languid" lacking in "muscle", and that “the sting
of Satan is taken out."
I’m sure those criticisms got around to Joseph’s older brother Guillaume because
he set to correct them but not in the way you’d think.
He must’ve known why the Church didn’t like his brother’s statue but maybe he was
mad at the church for firing his little brother, maybe he just couldn’t resist the temptation
to troll the hell out of them, because he made them a statue alright, but oh so much
hotter.
His work was extremely similar to the original but 10 times more sinful.
He cranked up the realism and put Lucifer in an even more seductive pose with one hand
rifling through his luxurious locks, his brow furrowed in determination and his lips slightly
parted.
Oh and remember how the critics said he wasn’t muscular enough?
Well Guillaume fixed that.
He beefed up Lucifer with hard pecks, abs, and bulging biceps—the wings now complete
with lifelike veins.
No longer was Lucifer coyly crossing his legs hiding his manhood.
Now they’re spread in a great revelation.
His ankle now chained revealing this kinky side.
An apple thrown on the floor, oh you dirty boy.
In his hand he grips a crown and who knows what his plans are for that broken scepter
that’s very—curiously—shaped.
But let’s not forget the rear.
OH THE REAR.
In all its unholy glory the crack of the unrighteous is exposed for all to see.
Gone was the “gentle and languid lucifer.”
Here was a hyper realistic, strong and oh so sexy lucifer in all his glory.
Even though this is clearly more erotic than the first, for whatever reason the church
kept it.
Maybe they were too scared to see what a third statue would look like.
So is that the end of the story?
NOPE!
It gets even better.
Fast forward to today because it’s still in St. Paul’s Cathedral right behind the
pulpit and according to some sources Satanists now routinely visit the Church to meditate
at the feet of Lucifer and apparently this is such a problem the church is considering
ousting the sexy anti-saint.
I really want to go now.
Let me know in the comments if you want to see me take a trip good ol’ St Pauls.
So do you think Guillaume was trolling or do you think it was a genuine misunderstanding?
Tell me.
If you enjoyed this video you’re going to love this one called Jesus Christ is actually
Lucifer.
It made a lot of people pretty mad.
Hit Like, hit subscribe and if you like what I’m about consider supporting on Patreon.
Anyone that supports on patreon and tier two youtube members get access to secret weekly
livestreams, access to our Hidden discord server the Citadel and a lot more.
My name is Morgue and I am Hyperian.
Hail New Terra and Ad Astra.