one of my friends let's call her sarah
was in her first same-sex
female relationship sarah's bisexual and
her girlfriend
is a lesbian and i remember her
girlfriend
kept labeling sarah as a lesbian and
calling her gay
to the point that sarah even said and i
was like
this is why i'm gay but you're not gay
you're bisexual and like i know she
doesn't mean it but like her consistent
mislabeling of your sexuality is her
perpetuating
bisexual erasure bisexual dating tip
number one
prepare for biphobia bisexuality erasure
and invisibility is pervasive in our
culture
even sometimes in the lgbtq community
you know people deny
its existence all the time in everyday
life to mainstream media
and its legitimacy is called into
question constantly
bisexuality is just a pit stop from
straight to gay
so do not be surprised when your
bisexuality is inevitably invalidated if
you haven't had sex with one of the
genders how do you know you're bi
or you come up against some of the
harmful stereotypes that are ingrained
in people
bisexuals are more likely to cheat i
mean why wouldn't you you have
double the people to be tempted by
so bad or when it invokes insecurity in
a potential partner i know but like what
if you leave me for a guy
oh if i leave you it won't be because i
miss men it will be because your
personality is garbage
there's also some controversy around the
label bisexual some people think it's
transphobic or excludes non-binary folks
so people sometimes prefer to identify
as pansexual because it's more
encompassing of all the genders or
non-genders
yeah so i didn't come out of the closet
i came out of the cupboard
oh cause cause pansexual it's like
yeah it's like a pan yeah you put a pan
in the cupboard yeah
two don't be afraid to put yourself out
there invite that girl out
ask that guy about a sexual orientation
i mean there's always gonna be some
element of risk in dating whether that's
rejection or
embarrassment or both um so would you
want to
go out with me no oh i'm sorry i
i thought you might be bi oh i am i just
don't like you three
know what you need to feel safe
personally i like to be
straightforward about my sexual
orientation relatively early on in the
dating process because
the way that someone reacts tells me a
lot about how safe i can be with this
person
like if they automatically assume i'm
non-monogamous or that i want threesomes
or they're excited about the opportunity
to watch me with a woman
then i know that i should probably move
on and find someone else
for you emotional safety might mean not
mentioning your sexual orientation until
it
naturally comes up or waiting until a
conversation about defining the
relationship
or you might be someone who wants to
just put that in your dating profile to
begin with
whatever emotional safety means for you
and your sexual identity
know it implement it because the right
person will show up in a way that
reinforces
you're enough as you are you are safe
with them and you're loved
i'm anna akana and thank you to the
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