how can I tell if I'm addicted to porn I'm dr trish leigh let me tell you
how you can know. ok in this video I am going to cover six points that can show you if you have
a problem with pornography consumption. These are not my opinions. They are based on a test that is
given to people who are concerned about problematic pornography consumption and that's what the test is called. Then number two
I'm going to tell you what is happening in your brain so that you must go back to the screen in the way that
these six points describe. Then lastly and importantly I'm going to tell you what to do about it
how you can get yourself out of this vicious cycle so that you can put porn behind and get on purpose in your life
and start rocking out your best life at your full potential. So let's dig in the six points that
show you that you might have a problem with pornography consumption. Ok number one is salience
it's important to you. So it is consuming your time, your energy, and some cases your money
and definitely, your mental space so if you are thinking about porn a lot and if you spend a lot of time and energy
on it. It is salient or important to you. That's the number one way. Ok number two there is tolerance
so there is a gradual increase in pornography consumption without a major increase in
satisfaction. So that's tolerance or habituation. We'll talk about that when we get to the brain mechanisms. Number three
is that your using pornography for mood modification? So when you get stressed out or when you feel bored
you go to the habit to alter your mood from negative to positive. Sounds familiar I know that is the case for a lot of people
that is another way that you can know you have a problem. Number four we're on is that it brings conflict into your life
so either intrapersonal conflict, which means conflict within you, or interpersonal conflict.
so problems in your relationships, problems with your employer, problems with your children. You find yourself isolating
and not going out with your friends anymore or intrapersonal is you feel regret, you feel shame, you feel guilt
, you feel like you are violating some of your codes. So that is intrapersonal conflict and that
is the next marker. Second, to last, number five is withdrawal. When you try to stop watching pornography
you experience discomfort. Mental, psychological, cognitive, physical discomfort. So we know
that the number one way that shows up is increasing anxiety or depression or lack of motivation
that flatline period physically you might have no lobeto. So you usually feel in the dumps when you leave
porn behind and I'm going to tell you why in just a second. Again and lastly number six is that you relapse. So you make a commitment
I'm not going to watch porn anymore then you go out as a champion of the cause and you find yourself relapsing. Now
those are the six points. Salience, tolerance, mood modification, it brings conflict into
your life, there's withdrawal symptoms, and lastly, you find yourself in a relapse. Now if any of those it doesn't have
to be all of them. If any of those ring true for you then it's likely or you may have a problem with
pornography consumption and this comes from the problematic pornography consumption scales. There's more questions than these. But these are the overarching themes and if these themes are present in a person's life it's likely they have a problem with porn. Now, why is that happening? Ok so it becomes so important in saline in your life, this is number two in our discussion today. Why is there salience? So there's salience because you brain has
your brain has been conditioned to go back to the screen neurologically to be able to modify its mood using neurochemicals. So you need to go back to the screen to get that dopamine release in your brain so that you can feel ok. It's being used to soothe your nervous system in most cases sometimes it's being used to stimulate your nervous system. Usually, it's actually a combination of both.
So what it looks like in your brain is your brain's using too much fast brain processing speed and simultaneously too much slow brain processing speed not enough calm focus in that middle speed. That is not where you want your brain performing out in these extremes.
We want your brain performing optimally and well and at its full potential rocking out your best life in the middle. The middles where it's at and I know we lose sight of the middles where it's at because we're looking for high highs but unfortunately the pengulam swings in the opposite direction and you get low lows
which leads us to the mood modification piece. So we know at the beginning of a pornography habit being established
what happens is your brain is linked because it discovers pornography it gets this rush of neurochemicals that makes it feel
not only aroused and pleasurable but it gets this big hit that takes the edge off of the world
so then the brain gets conditioned to know that it can go back to the screen to feel that way very easily. Easy button you push the easy button
and you get this rush of dopamine which can't happen in the world that's not how it works in the real world. In the real world, you have to take smaller
steps towards a larger goal and even then you don't get that same amount of dopamine. So it learns easy button get this
rush from an early age. Then what happens is tolerance builds and habituation means that the
brain is always recalibrating itself needing more of that dopamine hit or flood to be able to feel
ok. Now remember dopamine is the pleasure-seeking neurochemical it doesn't actually ever get
to the end goal, it always keeps you wanting more and that's what tolerance is building up a tolerance and needing more frequent
more consistent and usually moving towards more intense pornography to get the same satisfaction and you can't even get it because that that goal is always being moved out. Umm ok so we talked about
salience, tolerance, and mood modification in the brain. What happens with conflict is we know in a pornography cycle
at the top of the cycle, you're feeling a trigger that triggers you into shame and guilt usually it's a stressful
trigger but it can also be boredom and it triggers you because of shame. So you become triggered which makes you want to
act out and watch porn to get that dopamine release. So then as we're moving through the cycle if you act out you watch pornography
you masturbate, you finish the session at the bottom of that cycle is regret and guilt
which can be very powerful for change but then it moves back into shame and it triggers the cycle all over. So within that cycle
your mood is up and down and all over the place, which creates problems in your relationship because we know it creates
more irritability, anger, up and down nobody knows what to expect Dr. Jeckely Mr. Hyde. Your children don't know what to expect
your employers don't know what to expect. Especially when you're in the cycle I need to covey out here for a second.
When you're in the cycle you can't stop yourself for many people they can't stop themselves from moving through the cycle so they have to watch
pornography. So many people end up watching porn at work when they should be working because they can't get through the workday without a hit.
and when that happens and your employer finds out many people get fired. Conflict in your world or you can't not
watch even though your wife's in the bedroom in the next room you have to watch because you're in the cycle your wife comes out
we've got conflict in your relationship. We also know that there's multigenerational transmission, which means then
your children are more likely to be at risk and the way you interact with your children is considered a type of emotional abuse at its worst
extremes because sometimes your loving and indearing other times your distant or angry and your kids don't know what to expect
and that can create a lot of relationship problems there and the same thing for your partner or your honey. They don't know which version they're going to get and they start having to
tolerate a lot of mood disorders and when that happens there's friction in the relationship and we know from the science that
when you're watching pornography you are twice as likely to break up with a partner or having a marriage end in divorce because
relationship conflict is so prevalent because of the dynamics that are thrown off and I'll keep moving because
we could stay there for a while. But then withdrawal and relapse so when you want to stay away from the screen you can't because
your brain is conditioned to get that neurochemical release. So you get to a point where you literally can't exist in the world because it's too
argues without these hits of dopamine and it's because when you're not in front of the screen your dopamine levels
go lower so not only do you need higher levels of your dopamine receptors have been fried out
and the rewards center in your brain has been fried out. So when you got out into the world everything is twice as bad and it's very difficult to get through work
and it's difficult to get through family time which contributed to the moodiness and irritability because now you're in high
cortisol stressed out angry mode low dopamine you know go with the flow mode. That leads to withdrawal, which
then leads to relapse because your brain's like I need a hit of that to be able to get through this minute this hour this day.
So what's the way out? I know you probably don't want to hear it but number three is the way out is you have to
stop consuming pornography. You have to stop giving your brain the thing that it's looking for. Now in this
video as much as I don't like giving people cheats in the right direction I'm going to give you a cheat in the right direction meaning this
isn't the solution this a band-aid to employ while you're in all of this to get you from a person
who has a problem with pornography to a person whose rocking out in dignity and integrity. So here's the cheat. The cheat in the right direction
is what you need to do is push this cycle out longer and longer and further and further away
from what you have going on right now. So if right now you watch pornography every day set the goal to
every two days. Let's cheat it because we're working up to never again but if you can't get there we're going to teach your brain
to get the dopamine that it wants hopefully at lower levels and less frequently. So if every day
you're watching porn make it so that it's every other day try to shorten the sessions and try to decrease the
intensity. This is very difficult which is why I don't like to give people cheats in the right direction. For many people, cold turkey is hard as it can be
is the way to go with the right tools and techniques and strategies and supports in place. But if you're going to cheat it go longer
further apart between sessions shorter sessions less intensity reward yourself for succeeding keep
moving forward. Ok I hope this tip helps you out but this is how you can know if you have a problem with porn and if you decide that you have a problem
with porn. The best way out is in a comprehensive program. So although every single video on this channel has a
brain tip a strategy that you can use at the end of the video. The best way is to join a program and
I developed three of them. Porn Brain Reboot programs at three different levels to move you through comprehensively from
beginning to end with all the tools that you need. That is the way that you can succeed. So if you're interested jump on over to
drtrishleigh.com you'll see the tab that says porn brain reboot and investigate those programs because I'd love to help you out. I hope to see
you in a program so we can get you feeling and performing better as quickly as possible. ok and remember control your brain or it'll control you.