One day when I was in third grade, I decided to sign up to play the viola.
Yeah. big mistake. I ended up hating playing that thing. It was uncomfortable
and I hated reading the notes. But at that time my teacher was nice enough,
except for when she would yell at me for not cutting my naturally long nails,
which I get was annoying for her because in order to sound good I needed to have
short nails. But I really couldn't give a flying heckadoodle pickle about all this
viola stuff. So I really want to quit but my mom wouldn't let me for two years
because she thought I'd be the next Beethoven or something. But in fifth
grade she finally let me. Fast forward to about 8th grade in my tech class I had
to sit next to some girl who really didn't like me for some reason. Like she
made a poem about me saying, "if a brick smacked Jess in the face the world would
be a better place." So some crazy little Shakespeare chick who either wants me
dead or wants my face be as flat as a pancake I sitting next to me. Great so I
was just minding my own business when this snobby McSnobster turns to me
and goes, "hey Jess, why don't you tell everyone why you quit viola..?" "Uh, because it
made me so stressed I want to break it into any bitty pieces and then strike on
myself with its strings until I was unconscious and blue..Why?" "Yeah right you
sure it's not because you didn't want to cut your nails?" Then that's when my eyes
widened. "Where did you get that false information?" "Oh I asked some girl about
you and she told me that." "Well I hate to break it to you honey but your friend is
a liar." "Well actually the teacher told her class...
how pathetic and bla bla bla bla bla bla bla." I just kind of zoned this chick out
at this point. I was stunned that some 30-something old teacher would pollute
some kids' his mind with some stupid lie about another student. I needed to know
exactly what this teacher said about me. So I asked some my old fellow viola
buddies and going by what they said this is what happened. Some girls said, "hey why
isn't Jess here? Did she quit or something?" And instead of saying
something along the lines of, "oh well that's her private business," this salty
teacher told her whole class "oh the reason just quit it because she
couldn't cut her nails!!!" So some kids went "ooh exposed!" Others
laughed like "quitter!" Yeah I was mortified that 10 year old me and my
long fingernails made a negative appearance with my name in her class.
Like "lady you are THIRTY! your school gossiping days are over." At
first I was offended but then I realized I'm not the 30 year old waz bag in this
situation gusts me about 10 year olds. But now I just wish I could go back to
my elementary school and suck up enough courage and confront her and say, "hey I
don't appreciate you're grown butt spreading a lie about my ten year old
self in my fingernail length." And then watch the color drain out of her face a
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