(upbeat music)
- Wake the (beeps) up, samurai.
Welcome to Night City, the craziest city in the world.
- Who's that guy?
- Out of my way.
You got the goods?
- Everyone does that here.
Like I said, it's pretty crazy.
(computer squealing)
(upbeat music)
(rocks pounding)
- This is fun. - Yeah.
- Hey, what are you guys doing?
- We're having a blast.
(all laughing)
(upbeat music)
- Okay guys, team meeting.
Everybody get up.
- I'll go grab Christopher.
- Oh see, no, no, no, no, that's the thing.
I just found his dead body in the study.
- What?
- We need to call 911!
- No, no, no.
See what I think we should do
is figure out who we think killed him
and then kick them out of the apartment.
- What, just let the killer leave, you're crazy!
- Hm, that sounds like something a killer would say.
- No, what?
- I vote Sandy.
- I vote Sandy too.
- Damn it!
Whoa! (glass shattering)
- Well, glad that's settled.
Anyways, let's get back to doing our chores.
What do you have left?
- Uh, washing the fireplace.
- Makes total sense. - Yeah.
- See you later. - All right.
(menacing music)
(upbeat music)
- Oh oh, uh oh, I'm lost in a spooky castle.
I sure hope no nine foot six tall
vampire lady comes and pegs me.
Ooh, that'd be so bad and so evil.
I would hate that.
Oh, I'd hate getting pegged by a tall vampire queen.
Ooh!
(upbeat music)
(dynamic music)
- You must be the man sent to kill me.
- How could you see through my disguise?
- I, are you serious?
We don't even have a kitchen in this building.
Did you get that outfit at Party City?
- Whatever.
Time to die.
- Ah, is that a muffin?
What the hell, man?
Is that a hammer?
Don't, do not throw the hammer.
That might actually hurt me.
Dodged it.
Suck it.
Chef misspelled.
That's a gold brick!
Hey, what, is that a milk jar?
Is that an old milk jar?
Why do you have an old milk?
What are you, why are you drinking it?
Are you Link?
Oh, you're healed now.
That's not, ah.
(beeps)
(upbeat music)
- Welcome to Pelican Town.
I think you'll find that life
is a little slower paced and happier here.
- There's no crime, no capitalism, and no cops.
- Everyone helps each other out.
- This is a cult, right?
- It is a cult, yes.
- That is correct.
- Sacrifices are held on Thursdays.
(upbeat music)
(women grunting)
- Wait a minute.
Why are we fighting again?
- Oh, um, something about Earth from...
I've had so many concussions I can't remember (beeps).
- Dude, me too.
All I know is...
- [Both] Be hot and high kick.
- Do you wanna go get some
wheat grass shots at Smoothie World?
Yes, god. - Okay.
- [Man] Vitality.
(upbeat music)
- Ooh, I'm an evil post-apocalyptic cult member.
I sure hope a buff survival lady
doesn't choke me out with her juicy biceps.
That would be, ooh,
that would just be so bad and so painful.
Oh, I'd hate that so much.
Ooh!
(upbeat music)
- Yup, this is part of the game.
It ain't the whole game.
It ain't even the point of the game.
But it is part of the game.
So, watch me wash myself.
Mm.
Arthur sure do love a good old bubble bath.
(upbeat music)
- I'm going to (beeps) my way out of hell.
- Don't you mean fight your way out?
- I can and will do both.
(upbeat music)
- This fight is still going on?
- Yeah, it's so insane.
(cups sloshing)
- [Both] Ah.
- God, that flower boss is so tough.
- And how.
(upbeat music)
- [Reporter] A nine-year-old metro girl
has a new lease on life thanks to--
- Hey man, where you wanna go for lunch?
- An excellent question, Dave.
Let us consult my raven.
- Your what?
(raven caws)
- Great Hugin, what shall we feast upon?
- Are you really getting your advice from a bird?
- Quiet Dave.
Hugin speaks.
Grand, we shall hunt our own game.
I saw some hounds near the park.
Bring your ax.
We ride!
- But, we're not gonna kill someone's dog, man!
What about Chipotle?
(upbeat music)
- Cal, you must enter this ancient locked away temple
and navigate its traps and puzzles.
Also, the Empire's scouring the planet
so you may have to fight a few dozen stormtroopers.
- That sounds really dangerous.
What will I find there?
- A cool poncho.
- That's it?
- It's purple.
- You know what, that does sound kinda sick actually.
All right.
- Ooh, I sure hope there isn't a hot
Sith inquisitor babe around
who's gonna shove her lightsaber up my butt.
Ooh, I'd just hate that.
I would hate that so much.
Ooh!
(man choking)
This is hot.
(man yelling)
- Is he all right?
- Everyone does that here.
- Yeah, but you're not doing that.
- Like I said, it's pretty crazy.
- But you're not doing the exact
same thing that guy's doing.
- Wait the (beeps), everyone does that here.
- Am I a cyberpunk yet?
- All we do is high kick. - Be hot.
- And be hot. - And high kick.
- Lady, give me the bubbles.
I'm running out of bubbles, lady.
- Are you coming to the Honda Civic or not?
- Fine. - Shotgun.
(man laughs)
- Don't throw that.
That's actually mine.
Don't throw my door knob.
Do not throw, why are you miming it?
Why are you doing that?
That doesn't make sense.
That's ow, hey.
Yeah, yeah.
- Oh, oh!
Oh!
- Did you just (beeps).
(both laughing)