I was a specialist in the Army, and I served in Korea
and Fort Bragg.
Before I got out, they kept telling me, you need
to go to the VA.
You need to do this.
You need to do that.
And I'm thinking, OK.
But I did what I was told, and I went to my local county
service officer.
I was just following directions, and then I get
this notice back telling me that I'm 50% disabled.
And I'm thinking, I don't feel disabled.
But then I read through it, and I realized more of what
the VA was saying.
Not that I couldn't do anything or that I was
disabled, but, you know, things happened while you were
on active duty.
You're not quite 100% anymore.
It was multiple joint issues, asthma, and my back.
I could only sleep for a short amount of time, simply because
just laying made me ache.
And I'd go through spells where it hurt to sit, hurt to
lay, hurt to stand.
And so I would just alternate.
Basically because I had the issues with the multiple joint
issues and that was causing constant pain, it led to
depression.
You really feel like you're just--
the only word I can think of is worthless.
It's just you can't do anything right.
Nothing in your life is working right.
Everybody keeps saying, oh, just snap out of it.
But it's not just snap out of it, because you don't see that
light at the end of the tunnel.
It seems like this if where you are.
This is where you're stuck forever.
I was trying to continue to move on, of course, because I
had my son, and I was a single parent.
But many days, I just wished I could just stay in bed for the
entire day and just block out the rest of the world.
I realized something wasn't right.
There wasn't any, just snap out of it.
I wanted to have a normal life.
I wanted to be able to feel and understand why I feel the
way I feel.
Believe it or not, it was a long time before I actually
went to the VA, simply because of my son.
I knew that what I was feeling wasn't right, so I almost felt
like I was going crazy.
And I was afraid they would take my son for admitting to
some issue.
So it was a long time before I went.
But then after I started going, I realized, OK, that's
why things were happening as they were.
That's why I felt the way I did about things.
It made it a lot easier, because then, once I could
recognize what was making me feel that way, then I could
talk myself down off that ledge to where, when I start
having those feelings, I can reach back into reality and
say, OK, no.
This is what's really going on.
So it's made life easier.
I guess the biggest part of it was trying to
find out the cause.
Boiling it down to I hadn't been in war, I hadn't--
they ran through all those other things.
But it was just the changes in my life, having to deal with
my physical issues, and not being able to do as much as I
did while I was on active duty.
So you felt like half of a person.
You didn't feel like you really measured up.
So it wears on your mind of what you can do.
And then if you're married, you wonder how much of a
burden you're being on the other person.
I talk to Veterans every day.
I help them apply for the disability
benefits through the VA.
So I hear about a lot of them who have terrible issues.
They might have served during peace time.
But that doesn't stop the pain that they're in every day.
That doesn't stop the fact that they can't
pick up their child.
It's not just those wartime Veterans.
It's not just those that have seen combat, because like I
said, myself, I've never seen a day of combat, but I still
have issues.
You want to show people that even though you're having this
issue, even though things come up, you can get past it.
You're not by yourself.
You're not--
like I say, I always feel like that man out on the island,
and that's just not so.
There are so many different people who are going through
the exact same thing.
You learn how to live life, because before it was, I would
sit in the house because I was afraid to do anything.
But now, life is good.