Hey professionals. Do you ever have the thought, I'm not good enough, I'm a fraud and I'm going
to get found out? Well, that's called Imposter Syndrome and in this video we're going to explore
why that thought lies to people and how to relax out of it so that you can act more confidently.
My name is Steve and I coach professional people just like you to combine your personal
brilliance with unshakeable emotional freedom, and a good place to start
is by downloading my free simple five-step guide to mastering stress in the moment.
Now picture this: you're in the senior job or you've got a new gig, you have responsibilities,
you have ideas, but suddenly you think, What if my ideas are silly? What if saying them will
show me up? What if I'm really not good enough? Ss this where i get found out for being a fraud?
Now before we get going, the rest of this video is based on an assumption:
the assumption that you are capable in your work you just don't always see it. This is definitely
not the video for people who are genuinely trying to fake it till they make it. And by
the way this particular video is for a friend of mine who needed to hear this earlier this week.
Now, the first point I want to get across is that Imposter Syndrome is an example of what
I call suspicious thinking: thinking that puts an idea before the mind, that invites us to explore
the idea that is negative; that is suspicious about us and our abilities and our motivations.
And that thought only gets credence because when we put ideas before the mind we tend to go down
a rabbit hole with those thoughts. We tend to go in deep with them as if they're all that there is,
just like if I get involved with the thought that the world is a bad place, then my attention will
narrow chute down only on examples of how the world is a bad place and I'll think that's all
there is. I won't see everything outside, I won't be able to cross-examine the idea. And similarly,
if I think the world is simply a good place then, again, my attention will funnel down on how the
world is a good place, and I'll think that's all there is. The useful thing to do here is to come
back out of that rabbit hole: to stop being narrow focused on the one thought. And what that requires
is an awareness that that's what we're doing; and enough presence of mind to interrupt ourselves and
pull ourselves out of that rabbit hole, so that you can look outside of that narrow chute of that
thought and look at what else is out there. Which, in this context is maybe to look at the things
that you have succeeded at; the work you have completed; and the people who have complimented
you on that work. And to put other thoughts before the mind such as instead of, what if I'm
not good enough, what if I am? Instead of, what if I fail, what if I can make a useful contribution?
My second tip is to put it into perspective. Statistically, 70% of people have Imposter
Syndrome thoughts. That means that in any room of 10 people , 7 of them are going to be people who
have imposter syndrome thoughts, and they probably think that they're the only one! But look at them,
each one in turn, and consider there's a good chance you have imposter syndrome thoughts too.
That's because it's so common, it's so normal, and when you have that awareness about how common
it is then it becomes clear that it cannot be a realistic symbol of our real ability.
It makes it easy to see that that thought is not the truth speaking, but a common,
misleading, inwardly facing, ego oriented, cognitive bias. We are all subject to
cognitive biases, a lot of them! And although we can't become superhuman
so that we're not subject to them, we can become aware of them. We can become conscious of them; we
can develop the presence of mind to be aware when they're playing, so that we can interrupt them.
And in fact on my laptop here I have the names of some people who suffer from Imposter Syndrome.
Listen to these. Kate Winslet. Natalie Portman. Ryan Reynolds. Jodie Foster.
Meryl Streep. Lady Gaga. Tom Hanks. Penelope Cruz. Jessica Chastain. Serena Williams! Now,
if Serena Williams, the greatest female Tennis player of all time, can get Imposter Syndrome,
then you can get it too; and it shows that as a thought it is definitely a liar!
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Now my fourth point is to understand that the reason you get Imposter Syndrome thoughts is
because you have the notion of an idealized person performing this role. Somebody who is perfectly
trained. Somebody who would get 100% on any test on this subject. Somebody with tons of authority,
tons of experience, tons of knowledge, knows everything, and knows how to deal with every
possible situation. And in the context of thinking of this imaginary perfect person we're
too preoccupied with the thought of the chinks in our armor, the fact that we don't know everything,
the fact that we don't get 100%, the fact that there are experiences that we haven't had. And
while we're narrow chuting our thoughts down the chinks in our armor, we're looking sideways at
other people and seeing their highlights real, the things that they do good. Well, think about that
for a moment. That is you comparing your lowlights reel with everybody else's highlights reel, and
looking up to a perfect person, who, by the way, doesn't exist! But the fact of the matter is you
have a highlights reel too and they have chinks in their armor too. The fact is we are all mostly
similar to each other, it's just that we make the thinking error of doing false, uneven comparisons.
And we don't need to be perfect. We don't need to be 100%. And that's good, because nobody is!
And my fifth and perhaps most important point is to take the attention off yourself and put it
onto the work that you do. The fact of the matter is people aren't thinking about you as much as
you think they are. And in fact they're probably not thinking about you and not judging your work
at all. You see, this isn't about you! This is about the fact that there is work to be
done and people who need that work, people who would be served by that work. Now when you take
all the attention off of you and what you think people might be thinking about you (and by the way
they aren't) and instead you put your attention on the work to be done, the way that you can serve,
the way that you can contribute today, that's a completely different thing. So instead of
thinking, what if I'm not a good enough software engineer, think, there is some code to be written
today and I'm the one who's here to do that. And if we make a mistake or if we hit the limits of
what we know there are people to ask, there are people to go to, and it's a learning opportunity.
Now if you get Imposter Syndrome, there's a good chance that you also
get overwhelmed from time to time so as a bonus tip, watch this video up here.
Or if you've already watched that video then watch this one down here instead.
This is Steve wishing you health and happiness.