ARTHUR: Sweet sword, Shane.
SHANE: Levelled up. No big deal.
ARTHUR: I'm going for Spectral Dogs.
SHANE: Really? ARTHUR: Yeah.
ARTHUR: I was thinking Plague Bats, but I figure with the dogs, like,
we'll really be able to get good Pursuit, you know?
SHANE: I mean, I guess . . . what about undead?
ARTHUR: I considered it, I have to say, but, it's like, okayâ€”
ARTHUR: What? Do you have a problem with the Dogs?
WILL: No problem with the Dogs.
SHANE: Seems like you've a problem with the Dogs.
WILL: I have no problems with the Dogs.
ARTHUR: Will, the Dogs are key to my strategy, here.
[Arthur, Shane, and Will continue to chatter]
BRITTANY [IC]: Lady Astra, you'll keep that weapon in hand.
The thief will be spoiling for a fight. You need to be ready.
SHANE [IC]: Understood.
BRITTANY [IC]: Biff, you'll scout ahead: eyes peeled and arrow nocked.
WILL: What?
BRITTANY: Will!
BRITTANY [IC]: Nel'Zuul. I expect you to be prepared to make up for your error.
ARTHUR: I was recharging my spells.
ARTHUR [IC]: Eagerly, Lady Corillia.
BRITTANY [IC]: It is imperative that we retrieve the Eleventh Eye,
but we've never been more ready for the task.
Together, no force can stop us.
SHANE [IC]: Okay, so, where's the thief?
ARTHUR: Yeah. Where's Evan?
EVAN: [sneaky laughter]
EVAN: [wild laughter]
Theme: "Days Into Night" by Sweet Mother Logic
ALEX: [murmuring]
BUTTON: "That's the ticket!"
ALEX: Response has been good, Hunter. You're cleared to keep going on this . . .
. . . lrrrp . . . lur-lur-lurap . . .
SHANE: It's LARP, Alex.
ALEX: Right. Right, sorry.
Column's been generating good buzz. They don't know you're writing about them yet?
SHANE: No, they don't.
ALEX: Do you think they'll keep playing?
SHANE: Who?
ALEX: These players, right? What names did you give them? Phil and Lindsay? They broke up?
SHANE: Yeah. But I think it'll be fine. My friend Kat is joining the game
and she's completely new, so that's gonna be a nice angle.
ALEX: Does your friend know that you're writing about theâ€”
SHANE: Yeah. It's not gonna be a problem.
ALEX: I was just wondering if maybe you two could stir up someâ€”
SHANE: Mmm, I don't think so. We're there to play. That's enough.
BUTTON: "That's the ticket!"
ARTHUR: Days off are the best, aren't they? Just spend all day doing nothing?
BRITTANY: Playing in a LARP isn't nothing!
ARTHUR: True.
BRITTANY: It'll turn around. No one blames you.
ARTHUR: I didn't lose the Eleventh Eye.
BRITTANY: Well . . .
ARTHUR: Okay, it is not my fault that Nel'Zuul doesn't have a Perception check worth a damn.
BRITTANY: [laughter] I guess not. But Nel'Zuul's your first new character in three years.
You'll get used to him.
ARTHUR: Who specs a necromancer for guard duty, anyway? Am I right?
Like, just might as well throw the rest of my ability points out the window.
BRITTANY: Well, it's all part of the game, isn't it? It's a new adventure for us.
ARTHUR: I didn't lose it!
BRITTANY: We'll get it back.
ARTHUR: To have any chance of that, we gotta be on our game.
Like Will, you know? I told him. Relationship dynamics just totally mess things up.
No offense.
There's a reason you broke up with him, right?
BRITTANY: Corillia and Biff are together in character only. There's no problem.
ARTHUR: Okay.
Hey! How did you . . . ?
LANCE: Do you have a dream, Will?
WILL: Sure! I dream I'll get this job.
LANCE: I had a dream.
For twenty years I bled for this dream. I did some things that keep me up at night.
And now, that dream's a reality.
You have that kind of drive?
WILL: Yes . . . ?
LANCE: I learned a long time ago to trust my gut.
WILL: Uh-huh.
LANCE: I never make any crucial decisions unless I feel like I'm gonna puke.
WILL: You're saying I make you feel sick. [chuckle]
LANCE: I'm saying . . . that you're different.
What do you do for fun, Will?
WILL: Well, uh, I had a girlfriend until recently. Heyo! [laughter]
Fun? Uh. Mmm, I dunno, um . . .
TV, video games, y'know? Normal stuff.
LANCE: Jesus. Just like every other punk-ass kid in Montreal.
WILL: I, uh. Oh, god. Uh . . . I also LARP.
Live, uh. Live-action roleplaying?
LANCE: Oh. I see. So, uh . . . You're one of THOSE.
I knew it. I KNEW you were different!
You will fit right in. Pour coffee. Talk to the customers about their games.
WILL: So I got the job, then.
LANCE: Job?
This isn't a job.
It's a calling.
WILL: A . . . calling that pays, though, right? [nervous laughter]
LANCE: I love this place.
This place is my dream.
And I'll do anything to protect it.
And so will you, won't you, Will?
The strawberry scones are especially moist today. Push them.
KAT: Okay. I'm officially excited. I have been wanting to play
ever since I started reading your articles!
SHANE: Let's keep that to ourselves, okay?
KAT: Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure. I spent all of work today
trying to get caught up on the rules.
SHANE: Uh, you're an engineer, Kat, so if you don't do your job
doesn't a bridge fall down somewhere?
KAT: What can I say? I've been looking forward to this! It's my first time!
SHANE: Oh! We'll try to be gentle.
KAT: Don't you dare! I signed up for the whole experience.
WILL: You know, there's enough chocolate in one of these things to kill a puppy.
Or a small child.
SHANE: Thanks, man! You got the job?
WILL: Yeah! Consider this my celebration.
Hey.
KAT: Hey!
SHANE: Katherine, meet our party's ranger.
KAT: Aw, man! You're Phil!
WILL: Will. 'Tsup.
KAT: Will, right!
WILL: You're new to this thing, right? Uh, 'kay. It's easy.
Don't piss off Evan and you win.
KAT: I'll keep that in mind.
WILL: All right. Cool.
Latte me, fucker!
SHANE: So you got your character ready?
KAT: Sure do! I even went shopping.
SHANE: Did you, now?
KAT: Yeah. I might've gone a little overboard.
KAT: Aw, man. When do we start?
BRITTANY: Once Evan sets the scene.
KAT: Sets the scene?
BRITTANY: Well, my brother Evan is the Game Master, or the GM. But he runs the game,
like the rules, and the NPCsâ€”
KAT: Right. Non-player characters.
BRITTANY: Yeah. And we're player characters, or PCs.
I'm Corillia, a mage.
Shane is Astra, a paladin.
Arthur is Nel'Zuul, a necromancer.
KAT: I'm a foxling cleric.
BRITTANY: Nice! And Will plays Biff, our ranger. And Corillia's lover.
The love of an elf lasts forever.
KAT: Evan plays everyone else?
BRITTANY: Yup.
KAT: So he's just telling the story and we're following along?
SHANE: Not exactly. Um, Evan provides a framework,
but we decide what our characters do and the story evolves from there.
KAT: Gotcha.
EVAN: Hi, Kat. I'm Evan.
KAT: Pleased to meet you. I look forward to kicking your ass!
EVAN: Okay.
We ready to go? C'mon.
KAT: [excited squeal]
KAT [IC]: I'm very glad to have met you. My name is Ellowyn.
I've heard all about the Guardians of the Eleventh Eye.
WILL: Well, uh, ex-Guardians.
KAT [IC]: I see. Shall I help you get the Eleventh Eye back?
BRITTANY [IC]: We've been in need of a cleric for some time.
We'd gladly have you accompany us to recover the artifact.
KAT [IC]: Sweet.
EVAN [IC]: And once you've found it, you can hand it to me.
KAT [IC]: Not on your life!
KAT [IC]: Oh.
EVAN [IC]: I didn't come here to fight. I'm here to warn you.
When you recover the Eleventh Eye I'll be here to claim it.
BRITTANY [IC]: So you don't have it, then.
SHANE [IC]: We could kill you now. Be rid of you.
EVAN [IC]: You're welcome to try. I don't recommend it.
ARTHUR [IC]: Why kill him when we can simply have DARKNESS consume him?
Stand back! I'll handle this whelp.
SHANE: Arthur, we barely escaped this guy four-on-one, remember?
ARTHUR [IC]: This one? This one is nothing! History will not remember him!
His life is an afterthought! [laughter]
I'll even let him get the first strike!
Agh! Ow.
BRITTANY [IC]: Ellowyn! Quick, heal our friend!
KAT [IC]: Right! Uh, how do I do that?
SHANE: Throw one of your spellballs at him.
KAT: Oh! A spellball! Um...
KAT [IC]: Cure!
WILL: Grats. You healed the bad guy.
EVAN [IC]: I didn't come here to fight but I don't like being provoked.
ARTHUR [IC]: Then prove it. Kill me!
EVAN: What.
ARTHUR [IC]: Do it! Coward!
Ow!
Avenge me!
[grunt]
SHANE [IC]: Avenge you. For what? All you've ever done is lost the Eleventh Eye.
WILL: What up.
EVAN: Chalk up another PC death, Arthur.
ARTHUR: It's cool. I got another . . . I got another character ready.
SHANE: Nice try on the heal, Kat.
KAT: I'll get better, I promise.
WILL: Well, you know. No use in wasting spells on the useless.
ARTHUR: Hey.
EVAN: Come on, guys. We got a lot of game left.
ARTHUR: What about the undead?
SHANE: You're just . . . you're just going to leave them?
ARTHUR: No! No! Look, if I go full Plague Bats I'll still be able to use my staff to
raise the undead. And I was thinkingâ€”
SHANE: Raise and recruit the undead?
ARTHUR: Well, yeah. Obviously.
SHANE: Obviously.
ARTHUR: 'Cause you don't want to raise them and have to have them fight you.
SHANE: No, that'd be terrible.
ARTHUR: So, okay. The plan pretty much is, and this is, like, really, don't tell Evan
this, because this is more of a big picture kind of thing, but I'm thinking if I go for
the five, um, raised skeletons I'll be able to do a Pentagram Protection, and that isâ€”
SHANE: You should always use protection!
ARTHUR: Because I'm full cloth!
SHANE: No, absolutely!
ARTHUR: Because I figure, if I have the full set cloth,
then I'll be able to, um, to raise the undeadâ€”
SHANE: Yeah, but then you don't have any leather elementsâ€”
ARTHUR: I have the belt!
SHANE: No, I meanâ€”
ARTHUR: Look! I chose it really carefully!