-I have so many things I want to ask you.
But one is about your skunk situation.
What's going on? I heard that you got --
-Oh, just straight to that one. -Well, I mean, I just --
I read some article where you said this is like
the third or fourth time you got sprayed by a skunk?
-It happens all of the time. [ Laughter ]
-Dakota, what -- what are you talking about?
How does this happen?
I've never been sprayed by a skunk.
-I don't know. I've asked myself that every time it happens.
-Where are you hang-- But where are you hanging out?
-At my house. -In the woods?
Like, what are you doing?
-One time, it happened in the woods,
but it happened to my dog.
One time, it happened in the woods.
-Yeah. [ Laughter ]
No, but what happened? Your dog got sprayed?
-My dog got sprayed.
I was in Big Sur in, like, a lodge, and they don't
have tomato juice in stock, I guess,
in the middle of the night -- -What is Big Sur?
I'm sorry. You're in a lodge, like, a hotel?
-Yeah, like a little -- Well, it wasn't --
It was more like a motel.
-So you were in a motel,
and you got a skunk in your room and sprayed you.
-The story's going in a weird direction.
-And then it didn't have tomato juice?
Like, this is bizarre. [ Laughter ]
-No! -This is just unbelievable.
-In the middle of the night, the staff is not necess--
They weren't there, so I asked her --
-I don't know where you're talking about.
Where are we? [ Laughter ]
Where are we and what staff? -We're in Big Sur.
-All right, but are you in a cabin somewhere?
-Yes, it's a sort of lodge in Big Sur.
[ Both laugh ] -Sorry.
And so you go out to walk the dog?
-Well, no. I sort of --
-They allow dogs at the hotel?
-Aren't you supposed to let people talk on this show?
[ Laughter and applause ]
-If they know what they're talking about, yes!
What the hell are you talking about?!
[ Laughter ]
-I'm in Big Sur. I have my dog.
I let the dog out in the middle of the night to go pee,
naturally, as you do when you have a dog
or when you are a dog. [ Laughter ]
-I'm not arguing this, yeah. [ Laughter ]
-And then he came back, and he had been skunked.
So I called the front desk, and there wasn't anybody there.
And then, finally, I found, like, a maintenance man.
I asked if he could find some tomato juice,
'cause that's what you're supposed to put on it.
But he didn't have any, so he just gave me --
-Yeah, the maintenance guy didn't have any on him? Yeah.
-No. [ Laughter ]
-Yeah. [ Both laugh ]
One would hope, you know?
Tool belt, you know, a can of V8.
You know, you got everything ready to go.
-"You got your tomato juice?
Hey, you've got a hammer and some tomato juice?"
-Yeah, yeah, I got some tomato juice.
So, yeah, he didn't have anything.
-No, but he just gave me three whole tomatoes.
[ Laughter ] -What? What?
Yeah. -So he had fresh produce on him?
[ Laughter ]
-Well, they had some fresh produce
somewhere in the kitchen.
-So he gave you tomatoes so you had to make
your own tomato juice? -Yeah.
-This is fantastic. And did it work?
-No, I just -- I cut them in half,
and I sort of just lined them up on top of my dog.
[ Laughter ]
-This is insane story.
This is the most insane story.
-But then, the next time it happened,
I learned that there's actually this sort of
concoction that you can make,
which is also not convenient if it happens
in the middle of the night that you are experiencing a skunk,
which is normally when it happens,
because they don't really hang out in the daytime.
-Yeah, yeah, yeah. And so what is it?
What is the concoction? -Oh, God.
It's, like, baking soda, and then two parts hydrogen peroxide
and then a certain kind of dish soap
but not any other kind. -Really?
-And I don't remember what kind.
But it's like, "Make sure it's the blue one
and not the yellow one," or whatever.
And then you have to use
a certain amount of water and warm water.
And then you wash yourself or your dog in it,
depending on what got sprayed.
[ Laughter ]
-I don't know, man. This is just a bizarre story.
Um, all right. We love you.
And I saw you at the Golden Globes.
-Oh, we're moving on, okay. [ Laughter ]
-Is there more to cover?
Is there more to cover about the --
Is there another thing to talk about?
-It's the only thing I can talk about.
[ Laughter ]
-No, I want to talk about this, because the Golden Globes,
you were great on the Globes. I saw you.
But there's a photo of you that went viral the next day,
'cause everyone's like, "I feel like this."
Jennifer Aniston was on stage talking, and then here's you.
And you're just staring at Angelina Jolie's reaction.
[ Laughter ]
You're just looking at Angelina Jolie's reaction
to what's happened. -Yeah, but so is Armie's wife.
-Yeah, so is Armie's wife, as well.
-I'm not the only one.
Elizabeth is, like, very blatantly looking at her.
She's like, "What is she gonna do?"
-Yeah, yeah.
-And I was trying to be sly about it.
[ Laughter ]
-And Chris is like, "Oh, boy."
[ Laughter ] -Yeah.
-"Oh, boy." Yeah, yeah.
-Nobody -- Well, I honest --
Truthfully, I don't think that I was really
actually looking at her, 'cause if you look
really closely at the angle of my eyes,
they're kind of like over here. [ Laughter ]
-Now, what were you looking at, though?
Who were you looking at?
-Well, there was a table of --
There was, like, the actual kids' table,
which was the "Stranger Things" table.
-Oh, there actually was a kids' table?
[ Cheers and applause ]
-Yeah, and I really love "Stranger Things" so much.
-Me too. -Like, so much.
So I tried to send my friend --
Which is like the thing that I hate the most,
when people are in restaurants or whatever,
when they try to take a sneaky picture of you like this.
-Oh, yeah, and you can tell. Yeah, it's so obvious.
-So I did that at the Golden Globes.
[ Laughter ]
And, like, everybody there is a famous person.
But I was, like, trying to take a video of these kids.
[ Laughter ]
-Oh, my God. -They're children, I know.
-How stalkery of you. -I know.
And I was, like, zooming in.
But then I also accidentally caught
maybe Ridley Scott was asleep.
-Ridley Scott was sleeping during the Golden Globes?
-But then I think maybe he was just looking at his phone,
but it looked like he was asleep.
-I think we have your phone video.
-Oh, okay, that's great.
-Let's see what you got there.
-Oh, yeah.
[ Laughter ]
-Could be -- I don't think he's asleep.
No, he's just -- Unless --
-Yeah. [ Laughter ]
-No, he wiped his eye, and then he had a thought or something.
-He may have just woken up and been like, "Oh [bleep]
[ Laughter ]
-You can't say that on television.
Or the word "butterfly."
[ Laughter ]