Hey everyone!
So, a few months ago, I made a couple videos called “The best parts of being a lesbian”
and “The worst parts of being a lesbian”.
They were in no way trying to convince anyone to be or not be a lesbian -- since obviously,
sexual orientation is not a choice -- they were more just documenting some of the positive
and negative aspects of that part of my life.
Today, I want to do the same thing but with being trans.
So this video will be the positive one; I’ll talk about some of the reasons that I’ve
come to love being trans, and why I think it’s okay to love and celebrate your transness.
Later, in another video, I’ll tackle some of the negatives, since obviously being trans
isn’t all sunshine and rainbows all the time.
But I wanted to make this one first so that when that one comes out, if it makes anyone
feel a little sad about the state of the world, they can just come watch this one.
Because being trans, just like being any other identity, has its positives and its negatives.
That’s just the way life works for all of us.
So in no way am I trying to convince anyone to be trans.
If you’re cis, that’s totally cool.
To each their own gender.
All I know is that when I was questioning my gender years ago, I was worried that if
I came to the conclusion that I was trans, that my life would be horrible from there
on out.
I’d only ever seen and heard negative stuff about being trans and so my whole perception
of it was suffering and isolation and self-hate.
So I just want newly-out trans people or questioning people to know that there is joy and happiness
in being trans; and even after coming out, you can experience an enormous amount of love,
from others and yourself.
But before we get any further into this, I want to tell you about this video’s sponsor:
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So the first good thing about being trans that I want to talk about has to be the community.
I think this is hands down going to be the number one best part about being trans because
the trans community is beautiful and powerful and incredible.
I’ve never met a community of folks so committed to uplifting each other, helping each other,
and making each other better.
When I’ve travelled, I’ve met trans and nonbinary folks in other countries who have
welcomed me with open arms.
When I first came out, I met other trans and nonbinary folks over the internet who helped
me immensely with like every aspect of my life.
And throughout the years since then, I’ve become good friends with so many talented,
amazing trans and nonbinary people because of our shared identity and because we are
all in this community together.
And when I think about the fact that if I had been cis, I never would’ve met these
people, that breaks my heart.
I don’t know where I’d be without these folks in my life, and almost every trans person
I’ve met can say a similar thing about the community.
So having a really solid, accepting, badass trans community is definitely one of the great
parts of being trans.
Next I wanna talk about one that’s much less serious.
I think I’m gonna do my best in this list to mix up genuine heartfelt points with more
joke-y light-hearted points.
So for this one, my girlfriend Fiona and I usually call each other wife even though we’re
not married yet just because we’ve been living together for a while now and really
act like an old married couple.
And so when one of us does something more typical of like the “traditionally masculine
husband figure”, we jokingly call that person the husband.
And this works really great for me teasing Fiona because I do the dishes and the laundry
and vacuuming and all the like “traditionally feminine wife stuff” so it opens up a lot
of avenues for joking about Fiona as my husband.
But when it’s occasionally the other way around, she can’t call me “husband”
because that would transphobic.
So she just has to sit there and kinda give me a grumpy expression because she knows she
can’t tease me in the same way I tease her.
And yeah, I’m definitely gonna play the trans card for that one. Why not?
So if you’re trans, you get to play that card with your significant other or friends
whenever you want.
It’s honestly so fun to joke around with your loved ones by just claiming that minor
inconveniences are transphobic, especially if those loved ones are cis because then they
just can’t really argue it.
Obviously it’s all in good fun, and they should be aware of that too, but it’s just
hilarious to be able to play that card with your friends or partner and watch them not
have a comeback for it.
Okay, and the third good part about being trans is that it can give you a deeper sense
of empathy and shape you into being a better person.
What I mean by that is like trans people face so much adversity, and being able to overcome
that adversity can help you learn and grow.
That’s not to say that we should intentionally put people through hard times so that they
can grow, because I think there are better and less traumatic ways to do that, but for
those of us who have gone through some shit, I’d argue that it makes us stronger.
And in general, I feel like experiencing one kind of discrimination, like transphobia,
often makes people more likely to be able to empathize with other people who face a
different kind of discrimination.
Now that’s not always the case.
There are certainly people who face oppression on one axis but continue to not care about
other forms of oppression.
And there are people who face very little oppression who are still able to have a deep
level of compassion for marginalized people.
But I do think that as a general trend, folks who are confronted with one kind oppression
are more likely to see other forms of oppression for what they are.
I know that since I’ve come out I’ve become a much more compassionate person, and I don’t
know where I’d be right now if I hadn’t gone through everything that I did.
And obviously I want things to get better and I want trans people to face less oppression
than they do right now, I’m not saying that this is a cycle that should continue by any
means, but as it stands now, if we’re gonna have to experience transphobia, we’re gonna
take that and use it to improve ourselves.
I don’t know any trans person who would want to go back to being who they were before transitioning.
Not just in a gender way but in an everything-else way.
For so many people, coming out and seeing first-hand how the world treats trans people
can change you in a profound way.
Should we be able to have compassion for marginalized people
without ourselves experiencing that marginalization?
Of course, and I think that’s what we should strive for.
But that doesn’t change the fact that for many trans people, figuring out that they’re
trans can help them to see the world from a more compassionate lens.
And the fourth one is: A surprising amount of trucks -- like the big 18-wheeler kind
-- have trans in the name.
And every single time you see one you can point at it and go “haha me”.
Like here’s a truck called intertrans, especially relevant if you’re intersex and trans.
Here’s Stef Trans which I feel like someone needs to tell Stef Sanjati about.
Here’s Trans Gourmet which is just me when I’m feeling like a snack.
And this is Trans West which I imagine is just full of trans people from the east coast moving to LA.
But like seriously I don’t know why so many trucks have this, I think it might be because
it’s shortened from trans-continental or transit or something?
If anyone knows, please tell me in the comments cause even though I absolutely love it, I
just don’t really understand why it’s that way.
Next up, for the fifth part of this list, I want to mention how trans folks are often
able to learn to really love their body and their gender for what it is, in a way that
I think most cis people usually don’t.
Simply because being trans often means spending a lot of time thinking about your gender and
your body -- how you feel in it, how it’s perceived by others.
And that can be shitty in terms of dysphoria, but it also means that trans people are often
highly introspective about themselves in that aspect and put in the work to truly love their
gender and bodies.
Obviously this varies for everyone and some trans people never get there, and some are
still working on getting there, but eventually it can lead to people being in a really good
place with their gender and body.
Because for cis people, they don’t have to think about it because it’s the societal norm.
So they often don’t put in that level of introspection and don’t become in tune with
that part of themselves.
But for trans people, the vast majority spend a lot of time thinking about these things
long before they even come out, and they often have to put in a lot of time learning to love
aspects of their body that they don’t like.
I think that can allow you to reach a level of comfort and love for yourself that you
probably otherwise wouldn’t reach.
And again, like everything on this list, this isn’t universal.
Some cis people I’m sure have thought more about their body and gender than some trans people.
But as a general thing, I think the introspection into yourself and your identity that comes
with being trans can really help people learn about themselves in a substantial way.
And then, you get this fantastic flag.
Look at this thing.
Light blue and light pink with a white stripe down the middle?
This is just a really comforting color scheme that goes well with so many things.
The light colors are just so chill, and I don’t know, I really like it.
Next up, and I think this is what, the 7th thing?
I think that another great part about being trans is learning to have complete agency
over your body.
Obviously, anybody can do this, but trans people specifically usually put a lot of thought
into how they want their bodies to be because of the effects of dysphoria.
Not all trans folks experience dysphoria, but a lot of them do.
And so that means figuring out how you want your body to be -- want kind of hormones you
want it on, what kind of surgeries you want to have.
And obviously, there are medical and societal barriers set up so that access is not equal
for everyone, and that sucks.
But learning to take control of your body and saying “this is what I want, this is
what will make me most comfortable,” that, I think, is empowering.
It’s taking agency over your body and saying that no one else’s opinions about it matter
aside from your own.
You’re not just a passive bystander in a fleshy, boney avatar -- you’re an active
participant in shaping what that fleshy boney avatar will be.
And honestly, I think that’s kind of amazing.
Now for number 8, if you’re trans, Sylveon is now your official mascot.
I mean, look at this incredible Pokemon that’s decked out in the trans colors.
You get one of the coolest eeveelutions to represent you.
What could be better than that?
Well, I guess if you’re like a goth trans person you could be represented by Umbreon,
but for most of us, Sylveon is our trans pride Pokemon and really just one of the best Pokemon in general.
And number 9 is that when you come out, you get to find out who your real friends are
-- who is really there because they’re your friend and who’s there because they thought
you were cis.
And that can suck because it can mean the loss of friendships but it also means that
the friendships that stick around, and the ones you form after that point, are stronger than ever.
You know those people are there for you and support you.
Your identity alone becomes a sort of litmus test for weeding out the assholes.
And I think it’s comforting to know that the people who stick around after you come
out are real, genuine friends.
It allows for a deeper level of trust between you, and can help bring you closer.
Next, we need to talk about some more trans icons that aren’t Pokemon.
As a trans person, you’re in good company with quite a few Nintendo characters like
Vivian, Birdo, and Samus.
Also, if you’ve seen any of my videos about how different characters are queer, you’ll
know that you can pretty much headcanon any character as trans.
Donkey Kong? Trans.
Mario? Trans.
Toad? Trans.
There’s a solid crowd of trans characters.
And for number 11, I want to talk about how trans people are often the only folks who
get to experience life both passing as a boy and passing as a girl.
Obviously, like with everything, there are exceptions, but so many trans people have
the experience of passing for a long time as one gender and then eventually passing
as another gender.
And because of that, they can tell you all the ways that they are treated differently
depending on how they’re perceived.
They can know firsthand about the microaggressions and harassment that people who are perceived
as women face on a regular basis, and they can know how people who are perceived as men
experience the world differently.
Other people can know these things conceptually, but trans people experience it.
It kinda lays out all the sexism right in front of you, and it’s way easier to see
the broken system for what it is.
I think that’s a positive because it gives you an experience that very few other people
have that helps you understand the world a little bit better.
And for my final point, I need to inform you all that trans people have superpowers.
If yours haven’t kicked in yet, just wait a few more business days for your initiation
letter to arrive.
Sometimes those things get held up at the trans office, you know, bureaucracy and all that.
But once you have your letter, your powers will be activated soon after!
And if you’ve already received your letter and have your superpowers, congratulations!
I look forward to seeing you at the next trans superheroes meeting.
Anyway, that’s all I had for today.
If you can think of any other positive parts of being trans, because I’m sure there are
a whole lot more, let me know down in the comments!
And remember that you can use the link in the description to go to dollarshaveclub.com/riley
and improve your shaving routine with the Dollar Shave Club’s $5 starter set.
Thanks so much for watching, and I’ll see you next time.