Besides your sense of good judgment,
what else can beer destroy?
Let's talk about that.
( music playing )
Good Mythical morning.
( pirate accent ) And happy St. Patty's Day, maties.
Uh, that's more pirate, not Irish.
Well,
- That's French. - Whatever.
To celebrate tomorrow's holiday,
we'll be taking a bath today
in a Shamrock Shake. It's gonna be freezing.
And we're also gonna try to guess
what's inside some green barf.
But first, every St. Patrick's Day,
you run into somebody on the street
who smells like they've been soaking in Guinness for a month.
But what would happen if we actually soaked
other things in Guinness for a month?
To find out, we took to our shelf
that we leave things on, which we call...
( liquid bubbling )
We've done Coke, bleach, open air, and now Guinness.
Mm, let's see if we have a clue what the brew do.
It's time for...
( woman screams )
Okay, so we're gonna be presented with an item,
given two options for what might've happened to that item,
when it was left in Guinness for a month,
We're working together to try to figure out the right answer.
If we get three correct,
that means we do not have to drink
a warm Guinness
that's been left out to flatten
for over eight hours.
Ooh, sounds great.
All right, we left a sweater, just like this one,
in Guinness for a month.
Okay, and here are two options for what happened with this one.
Did it shred apart like those documents
that the FBI will never get their hands on?
Or B, absorb the liquid and grow moldy,
like a dirty diaper you forgot
in the back seat of your car two weeks ago.
Been there, done that.
I can't imagine that beer would make--
- It disintegrate. - ...wool disintegrate.
- Right. - Right?
- Yeah. - That's not gonna happen.
I mean, think of how many Irish people have spilled beer on wool sweaters.
- And then left it. - They got a bunch of holes in their sweaters?
- Never seen that. - Never seen that.
- Uh... - Never looked, though.
Uh, but have you seen moldy sweaters?
My instinct is that yeah, it absorbed the liquid,
which obviously it did,
and then grew moldy.
Yeah, so we're going with B,
absorb the liquid and grow moldy.
- Let's see. - Let's find out. ( whoosh )
- Whoa. - Oh, yeah, look at that mold on top, man.
Tong it out, Link.
From this angle here, it looks like a huge anaconda
is wrapped up in this jar, guys.
- Uh... it got brown... - Okay, so I'm gonna take--
...because there's beer that's brown.
And look-- look at the top.
- That's mold. - That is mold all over the top.
It's probably good for you. Probably treat something.
Ooh! Smell it.
That is strong.
Ew! Whoa!
Okay, so I'm gonna...
I don't know why I'm gonna do this but I am.
I'm gonna pull it out just to see what happens.
Oh, only the top is moldy.
- You can tell-- see how the-- - It's got a little cap of mold.
The whole top of it--
- It's so heavy. - Peel some of that mold off.
- Peel some of this off? - Yeah, and eat it.
Look. It is a film.
Oh, that's a film of mold.
No, we actually-- we shoot on video.
Look at that right there.
It's-- oh, my gosh.
It's so gelatinous.
I'm gonna let you play with that.
It's so "filmish."
Oh! Oh! Oh... ( exclaiming )
- Am I missing-- am I missing-- - Yes.
Am I getting it on the friggin'...
Oh, you've-- We've got a breach.
We've got a breach!
Oh, gosh, it's really starting to smell.
Put it back in! Put it back in!
( shudders )
We've left beer nuts in Guinness.
Now, what is a beer nut? A beer nut--
I think it's just like a candy-coated nut.
I'm gonna try to get one of these.
Drop it in.
Can I get you one to drop in-- drop one in me?
I'll drop one in ya.
Oops, I missed.
Come on, man.
When somebody opens his mouth to receive a nut...
( laughter )
Come on, man.
This just isn't that hard.
Really. Right?
They taste good. They're sugar-coated peanuts.
But what happened to them?
What are our options?
Did they break apart
like One Direction after Zayn left
and made me cry for three weeks straight?
Or B, expand like my ego after two pints of Guinness?
♪ Oh, two pints of Guinness ♪
For a long time,
I thought that nuts were made of wood.
I thought I'd throw that out.
One time-- one time
I was talking to my brother, and I was like,
"You know, I think we're eating wood right now."
You were wrong.
And he was like, "No, they're nuts."
Just because it's from something--
They are kind of woody.
Hm, I don't think they break apart.
I think they may absorb it and expand.
Let's go with absorb it and expand.
Let's see.
Oh. Nope, I already think that that didn't happen.
Now, you wanna use this?
I don't know if I got the proper tools.
You got one of these?
Oh, gosh, they stink.
They-- did they expand?
Put it down here.
Honestly, I don't know what the correct answer is.
But they definitely...
Oh, no, a couple of them--
Oh, they're bigger. They're bigger.
Put some of the other ones next to it.
They got bigger.
They did expand.
They did because--
Ooh, ooh, and that's pretty mushy.
There's not a nut that big
in this whole bowl.
These are the big nuts. Those are the little nuts.
The big nuts are on my side.
Little nuts become big nuts
when you dowse them in Guinness for a long time.
- And we were correct. - We were right.
Okay, now we've got some Irish Spring soap.
Because you know, every spring in Ireland,
it just spews out soap,
bars of it.
Can you imagine walking up to a spring
and it smelled like that?
You'd be like, "Somebody needs to call the EPA.
Wow. It's really refreshing in a shower,
but, like, in nature, I would be afraid.
All right, here are the options that we have been given.
Did the soap separate, float, and sink,
like Jack and Rose in "Titanic"
or turn to brown mush
like the guacamole I tried to save
from last year's Super Bowl party.
Oh, yeah, you can't hold onto that.
Not even for an hour.
Do you think I can break a piece of soap just with my hands?
You might wanna leave that to Chase.
- Can't do it. - I can do it.
I know I could do it.
- Really? - Oh, now you're trying harder.
It's just all about your grip.
Okay, so what do we think, separate and float--
Tearing it apart actually gave me some hints
'cause it's much softer than I ever imagined.
Oh, so you think it turned to brown mush?
Think of it like the peanuts
a second ago.
Think of this as a peanut.
It's slightly porous,
but it seems like it's not gonna absorb that much,
but then it does, and it just kind of just completely undoes itself.
Yeah, let's say that it turns to brown mush,
like old guacamole.
Leave the pit in. That'll help.
- Do you agree? - Yeah.
Okay, let's find out.
- Yeah! That's brown mush. - Three for three!
That's brown mush.
Let's investigate what happened, guys.
- Investigate the mush. - ( lid pops off loudly )
- Oh, man. - Oh.
Is that negative pressure?
It doesn't-- it smells good.
Of course it does.
It smells more soapy than it does-- oh, my goodness.
Oh, my goodness, it's white under there.
Can you get it out?
- Whoo! - Stick that under your underarm.
Look at that, man.
Here, cut that open with something.
Oh, yeah.
( imitating doctor ) Scalpel.
Don't do it towards me.
Ooh, it's so milky.
It's like buttery.
It lost all its "greenishness."
It lost all its "Irishness."
Let it down. Put it down.
Drop it. Drop it. Release it.
Looks like a computer mouse now.
Remove that.
It's totally fine in there.
It's just it's so mushy now.
Look at that.
Beer takes the green
out of Irish Spring.
They should-- Guinness and Irish Spring
should do, like, a co-branded commercial.
And it's just this. It's just footage from this.
Put that in the Super Bowl next year.
Yes, just a simple paper cup, Rhett.
Our options are,
did it remain a cup
or did it not remain a cup?
Now, I 'm trying to see.
Does this have a wax coating on it?
Yeah, it definitely has a wax coating.
It does because how could you drink out of a paper cup--
No well-respected paper cup is waxless.
I don't think that wax is going to give in to Guinness over--
I don't think wax would ever give in to Guinness.
Wax wouldn't do that.
- I think you're wrong. - You think I'm wrong.
I think you are totally wrong.
You think that wax gave in to Guinness?
I think that wax gave in to Guinness within 24 hours.
And it's no longer a cup.
It's no longer a cup.
It-- after a month,
this thing is just--
We're gonna be stirring this around,
and it's just gonna be fibrous--
- It's gonna be a "malaise." - Okay.
Okay, we've already won, right? We can't lose.
Right. So we're saying "not remain a cup."
- No longer a cup. - Not a cup!
Uh-huh.
Okay, it's kind of hard to tell at this point.
- Ooh... - The suspense, man.
I see the top.
The top part is definitely still a cup,
but I don't know if--
The whole thing's a cup, man.
It's still a freakin' cup.
Still a cup?
It's still a frickin' cup.
Still a cup.
The wax did not yield, man.
Pull it out.
If you can get it out--
Well, I think the way to do that,
is to squeeze it and come at it from both sides.
I think in order to get it out, you gotta make it not a cup,
so we may be right after all.
Nope. Clearly wrong. Nope, he can't get it.
If you include me taking it out, it's no longer a cup,
but if you didn't do that, I would've been a cup.
Well, I have a renewed respect for wax.
Okay, now we've got liver.
I've been told that this is human liver, right?
An Irishman's.
Yeah, it's an Irishman's liver.
- A damaged liver. - They just took part of it out.
- It was very large. - The rest grows back.
And the rest is going to regenerate.
Pretty nice, like a lizard's tail.
Did this bloat and bubble like the water
in the hot tub after Uncle Carl farts in it?
Or B, turn brown and start to melt
like Aunt Debbie's new nose
after she fell asleep on the roof?
- It's already kind of brownish. - It's a little brown.
But turn more brown and start to melt?
And liver is exposed to things all the time, right?
I mean, it's a filter.
And if it gets exposed to too much alcohol,
you get cirrhosis of the liver.
- Right, which is-- - What does that look like?
Cirrhosis, I don't think that's a bloating.
I think that's a crinkling
and a shriveling.
I think it's a bubbling.
I think it's got, like, things on it.
I think it looks like--
I think a "cirrhosified"--
- not a word probably-- - Sure.
...liver has, like, blisters all over it,
which that seems like bloating and bubbling.
Okay, all right, we're going--
You think it's gonna melt?
...with bloat-- I think it's gonna melt, yeah, because--
Well, last time we went with you, and it was wrong,
so now we'll go with me and it'll be wrong.
Bloat and bubble.
- Rhett: Uh-oh. - Link: Lots of blackness here.
- Oh, gosh. - Open this up.
Oh...
What happened to it?
- It turned into a barstool leg. - It turned into a barstool.
( crew laughing )
Now, that was a...
Who would've thought?
- A liver-- liver-- - You know what?
Irish-- hold on-- Irish barstools
are made of liver.
Yeah, I always suspected that.
You know, the fine handiwork that's on a barstool leg?
Did you give us-- okay, this is another one we tried,
that we rejected because I guess it didn't do anything.
Yeah. I know what happens to a barstool.
Just bring it in, guys. Let's see it.
Oh, my goodness.
Here. You know what? Get rid of that one.
Be careful.
Uh, it's very hard to tell what happened,
but it's got a lot-- there's a lot of pressure.
You can see-- I'm standing back. Oh, my goodness,
- it's about to burst. - I'm standing back.
Here we go.
You can do it, Neal.
-
- Use your glutes. - Use my glutes?
Start in the glutes and throw an energy thrust
all they way up to your hands.
( grunting )
I gotta hold the bottom and you hold the top.
( grunting )
( roars )
Hold on. I think I'll lead with the left glute.
( grunting )
Use both glutes, both glutes,
both glutes, yeah.
( music continues )
- ( pops ) - Got it.
I think I loosened it a little.
No, you didn't! I did it, man!
Ugh!
Ew!
Oh, it's bubbling.
It's coming out of the top.
Okay, I think it turned brown.
We need another tray, guys.
Oh, gosh, it stinks!
Oh-- oh, it's so mushy.
Ugh!
- That's turning brown and melting. - ( retching )
It smells horrible!
You were right, Link.
Pull it out, man.
- I can't-- - Be a man.
If we were in Ireland right now, it would already be on the tray.
Ugh!
( retching, coughing )
Ugh! ( retching )
You okay?
Use your-- use your glutes.
Use your glutes so you won't vomit on yourself
It's horrifying, man.
But, for the record, we were wrong.
Well, I was wrong.
We should've gone with yours.
And of course, we left Link's glasses in Guinness for a month.
Oh, that's where they've been this whole time.
Stick around 'cause we're about to take a bath
in a Shamrock Shake.
Link:
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at mythical.store.