Hi everyone this is Agnes and I'm going to read you a viewer's question today from Alexandra.
Hi Agnes, I've been a long time follower of yours and since 2018 your content has truly
changed my life - in fact it's a great part of my life your teachings had originally helped
me to attract back my specific person. But of course I wasn't able to maintain my self-love
or view on relationships and he abandoned me quickly. I took a break from manifesting
to focus on work and grad studies but I have recently found myself to have
to focusing on my how to manifest my person again. For me you are the best teacher out of all the
manifestation coaches on YouTube. I found that self-love is just more of a natural state that
I want to be in. Anyways I recently watched your YouTube live and I would request that you make a
YouTube explaining the process of hitting issues or roadblocks in romantic relationships. Most
manifestation coaches have suggested that we don't bring up talking about problems.
I think you've also mentioned that here and there since talking about the problem with our SP
or significant other only reaffirms the problem. I feel like someone who loves to communicate
in general and I've found that talking about a problem together helps to bring two people closer.
But I've noticed in the past with my person I just haven't brought up issues, honestly in fear that I
will annoy him. Yet I wasn't able to see a change in the issues anyway. I'm afraid that if we are
together and there is a problem that I notice or see something that I don't like I'll ignore
addressing it and the problem will continue to occur. But I'm also afraid that with communicating
and having talks it does push people away rather than bring them closer. So my question is
how do you resolve conflicts from a loving place when you are in a relationship
with that person? I would also like to hear more things on maintaining self-love or controlling
anxiety when the person comes back if you don't mind. Okay Alexandra, good question.
Yeah, I mean I don't think you just don't talk about anything but I think it's how you talk
about it that's really crucial. So making sure you don't blame, making sure that you
try and diffuse and dismantle the negative emotion you have prior to that. Process as much as much
of it as you can so that when you do have a conversation that you are much more relaxed and
just not in that attack mode, you know - 'you did this to me,' and I'm
you know you're standing there with your hands on your hips or you're standing there all hurt
and wounded or whatever - try and clear some of it yourself so that when you do talk about it you
are much more able to do it in a loving way and the other person doesn't feel that they have to
you know protect or defend themselves from you. So I do think Alexandra we do need to communicate to
some degree but not with all that loaded emotion. That often comes from childhood and that's why it
bugged you in the first place, however some things that people do here and now today are not isn't
acceptable or does you know create some conflict you know. So I do think communicate a little bit,
clear as much as you can on your own and then bring it to the person as best you can in a loving
and open way. And just say 'look you know this isn't really working for me but I'd really
like to work something out that you know would perhaps feel a bit better for the both of us.'
So you know and also maybe setting boundaries - I mean I know when people live together if one
person's doing all the housework and the other person's just sitting around like a lazy toad
that's an issue and you have to be able to communicate that and say 'you know what I'm happy
to do 50 percent but since we're both working then I need you to pull your weight' or 'I need you to
help me' or however you want to word it. So yeah communicate, try to clear your old stuff first and
then work on a solution so that two people are happy. So I hope that's answered your question.
Now you also asked about that you'd like to hear more maintaining self-love or controlling anxiety.
Well anxiety I think having you know experienced it myself is you going over and over things,
repetitive habitual negative thinking about a subject. So if you change your thinking
then you're much less likely to get anxiety. Now self-love again, maintaining it I wouldn't do it
seven days a week I think it's too much, but doing self-love four to five days a week and holding
steady at that is good and then you have two to three days off a week to just watch a movie,
or go walk in the park, or go swimming, or go and play badminton, or listen to music or whatever but
you just get your mind right off it so I think that's important too to get off it. Now I think
a self-love meditation about four days a week is enough, four to five. Affirmations again four
to five days a week - about 500 affirmations takes about 30 minutes, you can cut it in two
and do 15 minutes in the morning, 15 minutes at night if you like. But just make it so that it
fits into your day. A lot of people do it on their way to work and on the way home if they have to
travel for more than 15 minutes, it's a great way to use up that time effectively because you
can get a little counter - you can use the apps on your phone to do the counting and you can say okay
I'm going to do my top 10 affirmations, I'm going to do 50 of each - there's 500 and I'm going to
then relax for the rest of the evening when I get home from work and I'm tired. So yeah self-love
is a lifestyle I think it is also about eating properly, drinking lots of water, exercising
and you know making sure you eat stuff that's made by nature not coming out of little boxes
that's processed you know, just try and give your body some stuff that it needs - nourishment.
All right, so and also having conversations around people that are like-minded you know your flock,
people that are really working on themselves as well, improving their lives you know and really
looking after themselves - it's much easier to be around those people when you're trying to work on
yourself rather than being around people that are drinking, smoking, taking drugs you know whatever
they're doing to not think and feel because that's often why we do those things to excess.
So Alexandra I hope that helps, you sent me this email on the 13th of March
2020 - so it was a while ago. Thanks for your question and lots of love everyone and I
would love to hear those of you that are doing the eye exercises how are you doing. Okay lots
of love, see you in the next YouTube. I'll put the viewers questions playlist down below.