So you've been trying to do the whole online dating thing
and you can't figure out what the heck it is that
you're doing wrong,
that you can't find your future partner online.
Well, this particular video is to talk about the three mistakes
that many lesbians make when it comes to online dating.
Now, if you don't know who we are,
we are Pam and Kelly.
I am Pam and I'm Kelly,
and we are a married couple who helps lesbian women,
just like you.
So before we keep going,
as you're listening,
think to yourself,
"do I make those mistakes?"
and make sure that you also subscribe so you can be
notified when we make future videos.
So then we have your three mistakes and mistake.
Number one is yes,
that assume that all dating sites are the same.
And what is false about that babe.
It's wrong?
Because there are different sites for different purposes.
You can't go to one side with one purpose that it's
not meant for.
So for example,
there are some sites that lend themselves more appropriately for just
like friendships.
People. Aren't looking for anything more than just friendships.
They don't want anything romantic,
you know,
anything romantic or let's be real hookup sites,
hookups. Why are you going to the hookup sites to look
for your long-term love?
That's just setting you up for disaster.
So heartbreak and heartbreak and disappointment.
So you're going to go to the hookup site,
looking for your long-term love.
And you're probably going to find out that not only are
different sites meant for different different purposes,
they're also meant for different people.
So there are some sites that have these huge databases,
but like everybody there is 18 to 25,
which is all fine and good.
If you're looking for somebody 18 to 25.
If you're looking for somebody more mature then you need to
go to sites that serve a slightly older audience.
There are some dating sites that cater to people who are
college-educated. So if that's an important kind of thing to you
then you need to use those kinds of sites,
but they are definitely not all the same.
That is mistake number one.
And then there's mistake number two,
that profiles that make you make are full with a whole
lot of nothing.
And it just so happens that I have an example,
an example of one fall with a whole lot of nothing,
first sentence.
And this was a profile I met,
but I did meet you this way.
It was well,
here's the skinny on me.
I'm very sweet.
I know that it's supposed to be a good thing,
but some have I said I'm probably too sweet for my
own good.
I am also honest and attentive.
Isn't that great?
No, that was an entire paragraph full of nothing.
She's honest.
Do you really think liars are putting in their profile and
well for starters I'm a liar.
Nobody says that most people won't claim that they're sweet and
they're like demon spawn.
Right. And,
or, you know,
there are a lot of people who actually are sweet.
So you've written this whole profile and you know,
after somebody reads it,
they still don't know who you are.
What makes you different from the next person they're going to
swipe right on through.
So let's not focus on those traits about you that are
pretty much like a lot of other people.
And that's what we're going to see.
A lot of other people,
you just blend rightin with all the nice,
sweet, honest people out there,
but you want to pull out the most awesome parts of
who you are that make you stand out from everybody else
in the crowd.
Right? You want something unique.
Do you have an interesting hobby,
right? Do you have like a little cork?
What are you doing Friday night?
Don't say Netflix and chill,
please. Don't say Netflix anyway.
Make sure that you're different from the next person that she's
going to see.
Yes. Reason number three or mistake number three rather is that
you are not honest with your self.
Explain that there we go again with the honesty track,
but this one is really important.
One of the things we hear a lot when we talk
to single lesbians who are frustrated with this whole process is
they complain a lot about all the liars out there.
But again,
from the let's keep it real camp,
make sure that you aren't one of those liars,
exactly. That you aren't lying to other people.
And in this case,
making sure that you aren't lying to yourself,
be honest about who you are and what you want.
A lot of people find it easy to be honest about
who they are.
I am this that I have disagree.
I like doing this stuff,
but are,
especially when it comes to women,
we become a little skiddish,
a little afraid to say who we actually want and what
we're actually interested in.
If you only want friendship,
say it,
stop pretending that you want something else.
If you ultimately want a relationship say,
so don't tell people that you just going to be friends
and you just consider around watching movies and eating popcorn for
hours, and you don't have any plans or what you want
down the line.
If you're ultimately looking for relationships,
say, so we're going to start as friends and hopefully build
on more,
exactly, nothing wrong with saying that it's honest.
But a lot of times women especially are afraid to ask
for what they want.
And that comes to even some of the qualities of the
person that you're interested in too.
If that's what you want ask for it unapologetically.
Right. That is a mistake number threee.
So a recap on those mistakes are number one,
choose a site with purpose.
Number two,
make sure that you highlight the best,
the most neat,
unique, coolest thing about yourself.
And then number three,
make sure that you are honest with yourself and sharing what
it is that you want and that you need.
Thanks for watching,
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