Sacrilegious.
S A C R I L E G I O U S .
We're reviewing some sacrilegious violin
and music apps today.
We never tried them,
- but we heard they're very sacrilegious. - Yes.
So we're gonna give you our very sacrilegious reviews,
and protect everyone out there from sacrilegious apps.
That's...
...correct.
The first one is called "Real Play Violin".
Two-point-something stars.
(both) Damn...
Dude, even that bow is crooked.
It's on the wrong side.
Oh, that is—what...
Oh my...
That doesn't even have a chin rest.
- Oh, man. - Dude.
- We haven't even gotten the app yet, it's already... - I know, it's not even started!
Alright, it says on this page.
"Features..."
I mean, okay.
How is that a feature?
"You had a great time downloading this app..."
Can you imagine everyone downloading is like,
"Wow, what a great time."
Dude, they wrote it in past tense.
Did they time travel?
Yeah, you "had" a great time.
I can't even say it.
I feel like a bassist reading that.
Dude, they're all one star!
- Let's do this. - Yeah.
- Dude! Oh, it's so pixilated! - Look at that photoshop!
Who developed this?
Why did it even get to the App Store?
- How does that have so many reviews too? - Yeah!
How...what...who...
- Should we play it? - Yeah. Let's play.
Oh, dude.
Dude, that's horrible.
Can I? I want to press.
Bro! It's...
It's literally just pressing random parts on the...
On the screen, on the string,
and then it played different parts.
Alright...yeah.
Dude, that delay.
You just let go of your hand, it's still playing.
That's like two notes.
It's just...
It's like error.
- "Dun-dun-dun-dun" on the screen. - Yeah, that is so dissonant.
You can press on the bridge.
Can I just say that proportion is all wrong?
- Dude that doesn't make sense, that's so wrong. - Bro, the f-hole's here!
F-hole should be like—
The bridge is above the f-hole,
it should be between.
- It sounds like a whole orchestra. - It's like a...
I feel like they just chopped different MIDIs and audio...
And just slapped it in.
- That's so long. - That was so long.
Sounds like a chainsaw.
"Hey, I'm gonna kill you!"
Dude okay, I'm done with this.
This... *scoffs*
Dude, this app doesn't even deserve two stars.
- It deserves a zero out of... - It...
It should go negative.
- Negative two out of five - Yeah.
- Next app! - Dude that was a bad start.
"Compose sheet music".
Oh three stars! A little bit better.
It says here...
Blah, blah blah, blah blah.
Alright, at least it's written with...English.
That's why it's three stars.
Yeah...
"Octava markings..."
And then "Markings" shouldn't be...
"Cleff".
I...I take that back.
Someone wrote a review.
Is that so?
Let's see um,
how legit, or how paid this actor was.
Alright, let's play it.
What the?
Why is there a camera?
- I don't want... - Dude that's...I don't want someone looking at me!
Oh, no, I think that was a screen recording.
Oh, okay.
Wow, I'm a genius.
Sibelius, get out.
Logic, producer, GarageBand, get out.
Dude, look, you can just change...
What the...?
I want to add.
What if you want a minus?
Where's the minus button?
Oh, you can't go back.
- Dude that's so bad. - Oh, you got to keep clicking.
That is so bad!
T H A T I S S O B A D ! ! !
Dude, this user experience is like...
Worst UX in the world.
Why is there repeat button here?
What?
Oh, dynamics!
Oh, ffff!
Dude, it's got a scroll.
Treble? Bass clef?
*gasp*
We can do two chords!
Let's play.
Yeah.
I regret doing semibreves.
So slow.
Dude.
It's killing my soul.
Whoa!
*groans*
Dude, I hate this app.
It's so not user-friendly,
I don't know what that review is on about.
Oh, look,
- I want to go back and edit this note. I can't! - I can't.
- I can't change it. - I need to backspace everything now.
And the whole like, key signature selection thing,
you can't go back,
you got to keep clicking it until it repeats.
That's the worst design.
- Imagine having to scroll through a whole piano. - It's so annoying, I can't.
It's like, "Oh wait, which octave am I on?"
"I don't know, I have to press it to find out."
But now...
Oh, and It's too late, because you got to delete it again.
- Dude, you can't even see the notes! - You can't even see the score,
- because it's so like... - *groans*
You can't zoom in, you can't zoom out...
Compose..."sheet" music.
(both) Compose..."sheet" music.
- Next! - Next one!
Music Crab: Easy Music Theory.
- Oh! - This one's got more!
Three and a half [stars]!
Cool, cool, cool.
Mmm, okay.
- Dude, alright, I want to get crabby. - I wanna...
Yeah, let's get crabby.
Wow, it actually is pleasant to look at.
- Okay. - Play.
- Ooh, that was nice. - I like that.
Compared to the others...
- You got me, crabby. - Yeah.
I feel "crab".
Dude, so what...
Oh...
Can I eat the fish?
Okay, so you're moving away...
It's just teaching you what the note is.
What happens if you let it die?
No!!!
Crabby died!
Yes, smash this.
- It doesn't make sense, it goes back to C. - I know.
- Yeah, it's wrong, it should be a high C, - Yeah.
not the low C.
Can you go outside the screen when you go...fast?
Was that it?
Apparently.
Dude, that's too easy.
I'm over it.
I mean, it's kind of cool I guess,
- Yeah. - for a kid that's trying to learn how to...
It makes it fun for the kid,
- But then I feel like they'll get over it. - but it's so limited.
They'll get over it, and like us, in like one minute.
- But, it's definitely my favourite out of the three so far. - Oh, for sure.
But it still doesn't...
It's...it's not really music theory.
- It's just showing notes. - Yeah.
Actually, you know what,
I don't think the kid will learn from that anyway.
I don't think a kid would play that.
- Kids these days... - I'm trying to picture like giving that app to a kid—
Dude, and they'll be like...
"Fortnite!"
Yeah...!
Like, "What is this?"
- I mean, it's cool where they're coming from, - Yeah.
but, um...
Violin Music Simulator.
Oh!
Oh my god.
- That looks horrible. - Two-star!
I won't learn violin, fine,
they're honest with that.
but it says I'm gonna have fun.
- So, let's see if they're right on that. - Can't wait. Please make my day.
Alright, I...
I have a feeling I know what to expect now.
Bro, that is the ugliest looking...
Dude, that violin proportionally is wrong.
The shape.
- Dude, it's so lanky! - So lanky!
- Yeah, it's like lengthened-down lanky! - Yeah.
The bridge is all weird...
- The C [bouts]... - The f-hole is too close to the side.
Are you ready?
I just put my thumb down.
Dude, I had—it's great fun.
Wha...
- Dude, and that bow is so small! - Whoa!
Look how small the bow is!
- And it's playing [on] the fingerboard... - Yeah...
- Dude, I just played a whole symphony with one finger. - I want to try.
Mmm! Mmm!
(both) Yeah!
TwoSet Violin!
Violin Gang! Yeah, let's get it!
Dude, what happens if you press beneath the bridge?
What's the bet it will play?
- It's like a... - Uh! Yeah!
I think this is what they expect people to do,
go...
"Yeah! Look, I'm bowing the violin!"
Dude, that was like a cheap version of Summer.
Oh, yeah.
- Oh wait. - It changed.
- Oh!!! - It doesn't even depend where you push it!
It just...
It's like you just press it a few times and it just...
Can you touch off the screen?
Look I'm literally pressing like...
It's not even a violin simulator, that's...
You know what this is?
- This is depression simulator. - Yeah.
- I just got depressed. - Depression. I feel so sad looking at...
Dude, the violin looks depressed, it's like...
I know, it's like,
"Help me."
(Why are we still here?)
(Just to suffer.)
He's trapped inside, can't save him.
He's stuck in the simulation.
Can you flag it as inappropriate?
Dude, one million installs?!
Bro, I'm out.
Do you know how much ad money they're gonna get?
But that's the whole point maybe.
So they just make an ad money one-off thing,
- and it's done. - They just...
...find clickbait-sounding things that
people will download,
put ads on that app...
It's just a crap app!
But it doesn't matter, because they download it once,
- open it and show the ad...! - Yeah...!
This probably took...
Takes a coder 30 minutes to make.
*groans*
Alright, guys.
That's enough for violin app simulations.
Do not download these apps,
not even the crab one.
- Don't do it. - Actually nah, the crab is okay.
- But the other three, definitely not. - Yeah, okay, don't do it,
they're very bad.
Waste of your internet, waste of your time,
like this video.
Yeah.
- We all wasted it together. - Yeah.
Alright, go practice.
Don't use these apps.
- Go practice. - Yeah, to be a real musician, you have to...
...practice.
Accent like button and we'll see you guys next time.
Oh, by the way,
every accent will save people
from downloading this app.