- In this video, I'm gonna show you the confidence secrets
of extremely attractive people.
I'm gonna show you
how you can take on this attractive energy
because that's what magnetism is.
That's what attractive energy is.
It's energy.
It's understanding that the energy you're putting out
is the reflection you are getting back.
And in this video,
I'm gonna show you three things that change it all for you
and will help you feel more magnetic,
and also have more attractive energy naturally.
Now the first confidence secret of this,
is understanding something called "Frame."
Now, when you are in your own frame,
you have more magnetism
than when you are tuning to other people's frame.
So a frame is sort of like,
a frame of reality is like,
your embodiment of your own life
and knowing that you can draw source from within
that you are on your own purpose,
you live by your own values,
and you live according to your own level of integrity.
Now what happens when it comes to magnetic energy
is many people may be putting out needy energy.
Needy energy is what rappels love.
Needy energy is what rappels people to actually
just be comfortable with you or to like you.
And a lot of times what happens
is when there's non-needy energy, that's what's attractive.
So needy energy rappels, non-needy energy is magnetic.
Now when somebody doesn't feel safe in their own frame
and feels like they must tune to other people
in order to get validation or approval,
what ends up happening is people can feel that.
And not only that,
it's like an energy that's dispersing the field.
Like think of it, when you are in your own body,
when you are feeling present to the moment, I promise you,
that's when you're the most magnetic.
That's when you will naturally feel
at your most attractive self.
And remember this, how you feel about you,
that is being projected out.
So if you were to have some level of insecurity,
maybe you didn't like the way a certain thing
about one of your features or something like that.
You're thinking about it and you're feeling resistance,
and then you go out into public.
You're literally projecting that resistance out
and people can feel that.
So you might be feeling like,
Ooh there's this zit on my forehead.
Oh my God, I feel so insecure about it.
I hope people don't notice.
Then you go out and you're emanating that energy,
every little thing somebody does.
They may look at your face, you're like,
oh, they're looking at the zit.
You start creating the story inside of yourself.
That then feels resistance.
And then that resistance is that needy energy.
It is that resistance is what is repelling
the natural ability to feel safe in your own body,
to accept yourself.
So one of the most attractive things to do
is to actually get inside of your own frame,
be inside your own self and realize
that if you're seeking attention or people pleasing,
then that is diffusing your own energy.
For years, I was a people pleaser,
seeking other people's validation or approval
and I'll would end with, is me, when I was...
And think about this, in a weird way,
this is actually very manipulative
to go into a social situation
or to go on a date with somebody
and to want them to be nice to them
so that they give you something back in return.
I'm gonna be nice to this person.
I'm gonna be whatever way they want me to be
to get their validation or approval,
it's not actually authentic
because it's doing something
to get something back in exchange.
I'm gonna be nice to get your validation or approval.
And the key to magnetic energy
is to pull your energy back inside of your own body
and to be in your own frame of reality,
to be focused on what is important to you.
If you wanna attract love
or anything like that, what you wanna do,
or even friends and business partners, or whatever,
you wanna live by your own values now,
and live in integrity.
That's the power because you attract
that what you are putting out.
And the thing is,
a lot of times, people pleasers and empaths,
they may attract narcissists.
Why? The narcissists isn't a people pleaser or an empath.
The narcissist also then
is focused on a form of manipulation.
They're manipulating other people to get their needs met
and the same thing with a lot of times
when if you're a nice guy or a people pleaser.
So it's important to become aware of this
because then you see, wait,
am I tuning to other people's frame
or am I in my own frame of reality?
So you wanna focus on being in your own frame of reality,
asking you like, if you go a date with someone
and you're thinking, will they like me?
I hope they like me.
Do they like me?
That's a very different energy
than going on a date with somebody
and thinking I wonder if we have things in common.
I wonder if I'm gonna like this person.
Very different, right?
Because there's a different level of frame
and seeking the outside for frame,
like sometimes I realize for years, by the way,
I would attract women into my life
that wanted to control me,
or at least I believe that wanted to control me.
Why? Because growing up from 7 to 15,
I had the ex-stepmom in my life that was emotionally
and physically abusive,
but there was something weirdly familiar
about that energy of control,
where then after she left my life
when my dad divorced her when I was 15,
I would attract a woman that were trying to control me.
Why? Because that felt safe.
It did not feel safe for me to be in my own frame.
So I would attract
people that I had to fight for my freedom from,
that would always like give me frame
because I felt safe in that.
So becoming aware of this energy for me has been key
because by being in my own frame,
changes everything.
I started asking myself, what do I want out of life?
What values do I wanna live by?
How can I be an integrity with myself?
And even one of the most powerful magnetic exercises
I've ever shared on my YouTube channel
something called the "Frame Technique."
The Frame Technique is where you feel
in your hands and in your feet.
And you actually feel the separation
between you and the phone that you're watching this out of
or the TV or whatever it is,
feel the separation.
I know that empaths and stuff,
we wanna feel connected to everybody,
but the people pleaser, empathing
is like feeling so connected,
it's like your happiness is my happiness.
I don't wanna disappoint you
instead of being in your own frame and realizing, wait,
if you don't like something
in some way that I am, that's your shit, not mine.
If you don't like when I set boundaries,
that's your shit, not mine.
So it's about becoming aware of this energy
and then making a new choice about who you are
and feeling safe in your own body
by bringing the awareness inwards.
Now, the second thing that confident people do
has to do with having insecurities.
And it's not that you change the insecurity
or you completely resist it,
it's that you accept any insecurity you have
and you actually could even feature it.
There are people on Instagram that I've seen
that, I forget her name,
I think her name's Winnie Harlow or something like that,
but she has like the skin condition
to where she's like half white and half Black,
or brown, or whatever.
People call the different skin colors or whatever.
'Cause Black isn't actually black, you know what I mean?
But what it is, is she has like white right here
and different shades of color on her body.
And some people might look at that and be like,
oh you should put makeup on that, cover that up.
But in actuality, that is something that makes her different
and she's completely owned it.
And because of that,
it's a very different energy that she exudes.
There's a level of self-acceptance there
and you can even feature your flaws.
There are some people that feel
like their height, for example, is a flaw.
There's something wrong with me.
And if you feel, oh, I'm too tall, or I'm too short
and you're walking around feeling that way,
well guess what will happen?
You're gonna be emanating that energy off.
But if you accept it, if you accept,
oh, this is my height, it's not good or bad,
it won't matter.
So this is about being aware
and accepting your own,
what some other people may consider flaws
and realizing they may not be flaws at all.
Feature it and realize sometimes
these things may actually make you different.
When we're talking about frame a minute ago,
I want to talk about holding the frame for a second
'cause that was the first one,
in regards to a new Drake album that came out.
So a new album came out from Drake, who's a rapper.
And he's had music over the last, like 10, 15 years.
And a lot of it has been like very,
he's one of the most famous rappers in the game.
And I think he's an amazing musician.
Now back in the day,
there's some people that had different mixed perspectives
'cause his old stuff they say was better.
And some people don't like the new stuff.
Some people love the new stuff.
He has this album that came out
and I guess he made it in Europe.
And it has a very different vibe
than all of his other albums.
And one thing that happened is some,
he's got a lot of flack for certain songs
and there's some people say there's only one
or two good songs on the album.
And it was interesting
'cause he was asked that in an interview.
And basically what he said was,
he's so much in his own frame that he's like,
I'm not required to wait...
He's like, I'm just gonna wait for you all to catch up.
I'm gonna wait for you all to catch up.
Meaning that people may not appreciate the album now,
but eventually they will.
But that frame is very different than saying,
oh I'm sorry, you guys don't like my music.
Maybe I should have done something a little bit different.
Maybe I should have just gone back to my old stuff.
He just owned it and said,
you guys might come around one day,
but this album is amazing, I was excited to make it.
And I think it's awesome.
So that's something to do with frame
because sometimes I think that
when other people tell us what they think
or how they, you know, there's this tendency to like,
move our own frame to mold it to other people.
You don't have to.
You can live according to your own sense of reality,
feel safe within your own body and you realize,
that you feel much more confident
as you do that.
You can hold your own frame.
They say someone in an alt that is talking to each other,
if there's two people that are talking to each other
and they're both maybe wanting to,
whoever has the stronger frame has the stronger influence.
And it's your frame, is not something you have
to manipulate and impose upon others,
that could be called narcissism or dictatorship.
But instead, you just hold.
If it comes from a level of presence,
it's a very powerful thing.
So one thing you wanna do with this
is you want to understand, am I being in my own frame?
Am I following my own purpose?
Am I excited by my own life?
Am I living by according to my own values?
And it's okay to be polarizing,
give yourself permission to be polarizing too.
It's okay to be polarizing.
Polarizing, everyone...
There's people in the world that are gonna love you
and there's people in the world that aren't gonna like you.
But the more you express the real you,
the more you allow the people
that would really fuck with you to see you and to meet you.
And the more you repel people that wouldn't anyways.
So the goal of this game is not to get everyone to like you,
the goal is to find the people that wanna connect with you
and to repel the people that don't, you save yourself time.
So reframing that as well as a confident secret
that a lot of people do that are confident
or have extremely attractive energy
because they're not attached to it
whether you like them or not.
They don't need you to like them or not
because they're not drawing their own sense of happiness
from out the external.
They're not trying to get you.
If it's truly healthy, by the way,
there are narcissists and people that manipulate,
that's not what we're talking about here.
We're talking about true confidence
because narcissists are not truly confident.
They're extremely insecure
and that's why they have to manipulate other people
in order to get their own needs met.
Just the same way that sometimes empaths and people pleasers
maybe manipulating the situation to get their needs met.
Narcissists will do the same thing,
just in a much more aggressive way.
So the third confidence secret that will change everything,
and I wanna share this little example from this book I read
because I think it's an absolute game changer
is from actually a book,
I think it was called "The Divine Romance"
by Paramahansa Yogananda, who was an enlightened person
from back in the day.
He wrote the book, "Autobiography of a Yogi"
which is an amazing book, by the way, one of the...
Steve Jobs was the only book he read every year,
the last 40 years of his life.
And when he died, it was the only book
he put in iPads that he gave to everyone at his funeral
or something like that.
And it's just a very powerful book,
but basically, Paramahansa Yogananda,
I was reading a book a couple nights ago
and he said that people with extremely magnetic energies,
he actually said the word like magnetism,
people with a lot of magnetism.
You'll notice that in their eyes, you can almost see life.
You could see like spark of life inside their eyes.
And he said that what you can practice,
is you can practice meditating,
observing your thoughts and having sweet thoughts.
He said that magnetism in the eyes literally comes
from having sweet thoughts and loving thoughts.
So meditating on love, meditating on peace,
meditating on being present,
that will increase the magnetism in your eyes.
Now the other aspect of this so I think,
is not even focusing on the loving thoughts,
but so much as the more you release resistance in your body
and in your field, the more magnetic you will be.
If you're having loving thoughts and thoughts of gratitude,
you are more magnetic.
And there's also less resistance in your thoughts
and your field, and in your thoughts, and in your mind.
So, and I remember there was this guy that I know
in Costa Rica, who is actually, he's like a plant medicine.
He's like a shaman.
And this guy, first time I ever met him
was at a life transformation place in Costa Rica.
And I met him and he had energy that was so magnetic,
it was crazy.
I never experienced that being around somebody
and I remember hugging him at the end of a Yage ceremony,
the next morning I hugged him and I felt high for hours.
And I used to always think,
oh, people talk about Schottky pot.
God gurus will touch you
and you just have all these aligned awakening and stuff.
I'm like, oh whatever.
Never really believed in it,
but from just me from meeting this man
and feeling his presence,
it was so magnetic and so impactful for me.
I had the pleasure of a year or two later,
connecting with him and actually going to his house,
and hanging out with him and getting to know him.
He's actually a good friend today.
One thing he said, though is for 10 or 15 years straight,
all he did was meditate.
He meditated.
He would like just sit at his house
and do meditation by 10 hours a day for like 10 years.
And he said, that was the trick to his magnetic energy.
But think about that,
meditating on presence, becoming present,
that is what is actually the most magnetic thing.
And when you are doing what you love,
you're in the present moment.
There's no resistance.
When you are being the real you
and you're having fun, also very powerful, confident
like fun energy.
People feel what you feel.
And the name of the game with this whole thing
is how can I enjoy life more?
How can I be the real me more?
How can I do what I'm passionate more?
How can I let go of resistance and neediness
and seeking frame from other people more?
And as you do all of these things, I promise you,
you will notice that your energy becomes more magnetic
than ever before.
Now, if you really wanna heal
'cause a lot of times in our inner child
felt not seen growing up,
felt not heard from growing up,
we felt like we had to seek
other people's approval, validation growing up.
One of the most powerful things you could do
is an inner child meditation for healing
from the inside out.
And one of the meditations I have
that is the most powerful meditation that I have
is an inner child meditation,
where we go to Kauai, Hawaii, energetically,
we bring forth our inner child
and we heal from the inside out
so that we can feel validated self-worthy from within.
So if you haven't done this meditation yet,
you can download it, it's completely free.
You can hit the link in description box below
or go to AaronDoughty.com/child
'cause it's child meditation.
Listen to this meditation, I promise you,
you listen to it for 21 days,
you'll have a profound, energetic effect on your body
and in your mind, in your soul.
And then if you haven't seen one of my most popular videos
on confidence, it's the five confident secrets
that will make you magnetic AF, it goes much more in detail.
Watch it right here.
People feel what you feel about you.
The energy inside of our bodies are contagious.
And based on how we feel about ourselves,
that energy is being emanated out
and other people are responding to us
based on that energy.