Thor, the Norse god of thunder, has gone through many changes during his time in the Marvel
Cinematic Universe, including his personality. Alongside his learned wisdom and merit, Thor
has become quite the jokester. Here are the god of thunder's jokes in the MCU, ranked worst to best.
The first entry into our rundown of the god of thunder's jokes in the MCU comes in his very first
appearance, 2011's eponymous solo outing. Having just been put in place by his father Odin, played
by Anthony Hopkins, Thor's trying to convince his compatriots to go with him to Jotunheim.
He hopes they’ll see how the Frost Giants managed to break through Asgard's defenses
in their attempt to steal the casket. As Lady Sif reminds him,
Odin forbade such an action, but Thor persists in his manipulation. Thor asks,
"My friends, have you forgotten all that we have done together?"
For Fandral and Hogun, Thor points out that he'd led them into the most glorious of battles. To
sway Volstagg, he reminds him that the delicacies he thought were so succulent
that he felt he'd died and gone to Valhalla. And then, to Sif, he posed a simple question.
"And who proved wrong all who scoffed at the idea that a young
maiden could be one of the fiercest warriors this realm has ever known?”
“I did.”
“True, but I supported you."
It's a coin flip as to whether you think he was trying to steal Sif's
thunder — pun obviously intended — but he did give her due credit in the end.
In Thor's second standalone movie, "The Dark World," he's cracking more jokes than in the
first, probably as a result of hanging out with Tony Stark in 2012's first "Avengers" film.
When Lady Sif is leading Asgard's armies and the Warriors Three in battle on Hogun's home
world of Vanaheim and clearly thinks things are going swimmingly, Thor shows up on the scene.
He quickly takes out some enemy combatants with his trusty hammer, Mjolnir, and Sif is
perturbed at his arrival. She complains, and Thor responds with a well-timed joke.
"I've got this completely under control.”
“Is that why everything's on fire?"
Total burn, Thor!
As the battle on Vanaheim rages on in "Thor 2," with the enemy surrounding Asgard's warriors,
an angry roar stops the fight in mid action.
Everyone looks around for the source of such a ferocious rumble. That's when a giant Kronan
warrior appears and marches toward Thor. MCU fans who've seen "Thor: Ragnarok may think
this massive humanoid warrior made of stone is the same type of being as Korg, played by Taika
Waititi. They'd be right in thinking this is a Kronan and thus the same species as Korg. However,
according to the DVD commentary for "Thor: The Dark World" this Kronan actually is Korg,
and the version who appears in "Ragnarok" has been retconned by Waititi, who also directed the film.
Now, Thor's a big dude, but this version of Korg is massive and the Norse god of thunder is about
waist height on the brute. But Thor, of course, isn't fazed.
"I accept your surrender."
And when Thor backs up his joke by smashing Korg to pieces, he gets in another zinger.
"Anyone else?"
When Rhodey, played by Don Cheadle, took the Iron Man Mark II armor during "Iron Man 2" and became
War Machine, he stepped into the big leagues. Viewers catch a conversation in Avengers: Age of
Ultron where Rhodey is regaling Tony Stark, Maria Hill, and Thor with a story of his own adventures.
"So I take the tank, fly it right up to the general's palace,
drop it at his feet. I'm like, 'Boom, you looking for this?'"
A confused Thor asks if that's the whole story.
Rhodey says that it is, that it’s a War Machine story. Thor laughs and responds, saying,
"Oh, it's very good then. It's impressive."
Quality save, Thor. Fortunately for Rhodey,
the story does indeed kill later on when he tells it to some non-Avenger partygoers.
As Thor attempts to smuggle Loki out of Asgard in "The Dark World," Loki is doing one of the things
he does best: annoying Thor. Loki first takes the form of an Asgardian warrior,
then takes up his own likeness again and makes his brother look like Sif. Then,
Loki takes the form of one of Thor's more recent allies, Captain America, played by Chris Evans,
and offers to have a rousing discussion about truth, honor, and patriotism.
Loki realizes that nagging Thor isn't working out,
so he finally just asks Thor for a weapon to make the escape easier.
Thor locks eyes with Loki and appears to be rustling around for something for Loki to wield.
"At last, a little common sense."
As it turns out, Thor did use his common sense: he handcuffed the trickster.
"I thought you liked tricks."
It's no secret Loki has done a great many horrible things. He's betrayed pretty much
everyone he knows, Thor included. He's manipulated everyone he's ever met,
Thor included. He's tried to kill pretty much everyone with whom he's come into contact, Thor
included. These shenanigans play out over the course of the first two Thor solo films and the
first Avengers movie. When we get to "Ragnarok," it's more of the same, whether on Asgard,
Earth, or Sakaar. As Thor, Valkyrie, and Bruce Banner, discuss their exit strategy and how to
get through a wormhole terrifyingly dubbed the Devil's Anus, our favorite trickster
chimes in with an offer of assistance, causing Banner to pull the other two into a sidebar.
Banner says that he had just been talking to Loki, and he was perfectly ready to kill any of them.
Valkyrie agrees, mentioning Loki had tried to kill her. Thor, who is the obvious expert on Loki's
attempts at murder, concurs, noting his adopted brother has tried to take his life on, quote,
"many, many occasions" before describing one in particular.
"He transformed himself into a snake,
and he knows that I love snakes. So I went to pick up the snake to admire it,
and he transformed back into himself, and he was like 'Ya! It's me!' and he stabbed me."
It’s no secret that Loki has a thing for stabbing people — especially in the back,
but at least Thor got a funny story out of it.
Dr. Bruce Banner deals with a lot of doubts and insecurities — given the great beast
that lives within him. While he's able to summon the Hulk at will, getting the big guy to stand
down is an entirely different matter. But, by the time "Age of Ultron" rolls around, he seems to
have developed a system of deescalation with Black Widow, involving holding hands and a lullaby. That
doesn't stop him from being dejected about the entire situation after they had to call
a Code Green in their attack on Strucker's compound in the opening sequence of the film.
As they're flying back to Avengers HQ aboard the Quinjet,
Natasha asks Bruce when he's going to trust her and he responds with the obvious answer
that it's not her that he doesn't trust. So she enlists another teammate — perhaps the wrong
one — to weigh in, asking Thor what he thinks of the Hulk. Thor responds with good humor, as usual.
"The gates of Hell are filled with the screams of his victims."
When he sees that neither Natasha or Banner is in the mood for his jokes,
he quickly walks back his remarks.
"No, no, wounded screams. Mainly whimpering,
a great deal of complaining and tales of sprained deltoids and gout."
Another quality save.
In "Ragnarok," Thor proves his mettle by surviving an encounter with the Grandmaster's champion,
aka The Hulk. Afterwards, Thor's living conditions improve immensely. He's no
longer living among the rabble of lower card fighters like Korg. As a main eventer,
he's in penthouse-level quarters with his opponent, the Hulk. There's training
equipment befitting a champion, including what every noble warrior needs: a hot tub.
Great for soaking sore muscles, it's an essential tool for a fighter's rest and recovery.
We're guessing most athletes choose to soak in a pair of trunks or other undergarment when in
a group setting, but not our Hulk, which Thor finds out when pressing him for information.
Thor asks him how he arrived on Sakaar. Hulk explains that he came there when the Quinjet
he took at the end of "Age of Ultron" crash landed there. Well, he offered the one-word response of
"Quinjet" and then mimed a crash with his hand, but it's all there in the subtext. Naturally Thor
wants to know where the Quinjet is now so he could potentially use it himself. Having just
demonstrated his propensity for showing rather than telling, Hulk gets out of the tub fully nude,
to point out where the crashed Quinjet is, giving Thor an eyeful as he walks to the window.
"That's, ah, naked. Very naked. Hmmm. That's in my brain now."
Thor's only got a few friends at his disposal when stranded on Sakaar in "Ragnarok" and they're not
exactly keen on helping him escape. Valkyrie can't seem to stop drinking or using that obedience disk
on him, so she's not going to be of much help. Korg and Miek are willing but they're locked
up with all the other slaves — sorry, prisoners with jobs — so he can't expect much out of them.
He needs Hulk's help and he’s going to do his best to convince the great green brute to help him out,
even if it means a bit of manipulation. Thor tells Hulk,
"This is what friends do, they support each other."
Even so, Hulk insists that Thor is Banner's friend and not his.
"Banner's friend.”
“I don't even like Banner! He’s all, 'I'm into numbers and science and stuff.'"
Once Hulk reverts to Bruce Banner, having seen Natasha's message aboard the Quinjet
he just wrecked, Thor tries a bit of the same with Hulk's human counterpart.
Though, it may be with perhaps a bit less finesse.
"I just told you if I turn into the Hulk , I'm never gonna come back again and you don't care!"
Thor has upset Banner and has made him feel used,
especially when Thor says that Hulk is the fire that he needs to defeat his sister.
Banner tells Thor that he’s not his friend. Thor, then, reverses what he said to Hulk earlier:
"No, I don’t even like the Hulk. He's like 'Roar, smash, smash, smash.' I prefer you."
As "Endgame" is coming to a close, it ties up its myriad loose ends in an extended finale.
We see Thor entrust the future of the New Asgard colony on Earth to
Valkyrie before boarding the ship with the Guardians of the Galaxy.
"The Asgardians of the Galaxy, back together again. Where to first?"
On board, Thor immediately makes himself at home, and changes the map that Star-Lord,
aka Peter Quill is looking at. Star-Lord, annoyed, changes it back and decides it's time to lay down
the law with the newbie. After a brief back and forth about who's in charge on the ship,
Drax suggests they fight for the leadership role.
"I got some blasters unless you guys want to use knives.”
“Oh, yes, please, use knives."
Quill and Thor both laugh, and Thor cheerfully explains that they don't
have to fight, because it's clear who's in charge.
"There shall be no knifing one another; everybody knows who's in charge."
After a brief, uncertain pause, Quill asks, quote, "Me, right?" Thor's response says it all.
"Yes, you. Of course, of course, of course."
About 50 minutes into "The Avengers," the team sits down for its first unofficial team meeting
on the bridge of the massive SHIELD helicarrier. Before Tony Stark shows up, Thor discusses with
the other heroes the film's primary antagonist, Loki. Nick Fury has just gotten done interrogating
the god of mischief and Cap asks Thor what he thinks his brother's plan might be and
wonders why Loki let them take him into custody. After all, Cap points out, Loki can't exactly
lead his army while aboard the helicarrier. Banner posits that they shouldn't focus on Loki.
"That guy's brain is a bag full of cats. You could smell crazy on him."
The god of thunder takes a surprising amount of offense to this. He warns Banner to watch
his words, saying that while Loki might be a villain, he is still a prince of Asgard.
"And he is my brother.”
“He killed 80 people in two days.”
“He's adopted."
Things get tense in the elevator scene in "Ragnarok," as Loki leads Thor to the
Grandmaster's ship. Loki says he's probably better off staying on Sakaar and Thor agrees,
to his surprise. Thor says Sakaar is perfect for his brother, that it's, quote,
“savage, chaotic, lawless.” Thor thinks Loki will do great there. Loki's taken aback, asking Thor if
he truly thinks so little of him and Thor replies that he actually once thought the world of Loki.
But, while there might still be some good in the cantankerous god of mischief,
he concedes that've been walking separate paths for a long time. After a pregnant pause,
Loki somberly says it's probably for the best that they never see each other again, and Thor twists
the knife, patting him on the back and reminding him by saying that it’s what he’s always wanted.
Suddenly, Thor has an idea and brightens the mood, suggesting they do the tried and true "Get Help"
routine. Loki declines. Thor reminds him that it works every time and Loki says that it's
humiliating. Thor asks if Loki has a better plan, which he doesn’t. So, Thor concludes that they
should do it, while Loki is still insistent that they will not. Spoiler alert: they do "Get Help."
"Get help! Please! My brother, he’s dying! Get help! Help him!"
Afterward, Thor has clearly enjoyed the routine, while Loki complains that he still hates it.
"It's humiliating.”
“Not for me it's not."
When it comes to comparing adopted siblings Thor and Loki, their respective strengths
are pretty clear. Thor is the clear winner when it comes to physical might and combat,
while Loki is obviously the more cerebral of the two demigods. It should be no surprise,
considering one is the warrior god of thunder and the other is the trickster god of mischief. As
such, it's rare that Thor gets one over one the sneaky Loki. Even so, Loki does underestimates
Thor, having gotten the better of him for so long. But Thor is capable of growth, as he demonstrates
while they're heading to the Grandmaster's ship in "Ragnarok," and he posits that Loki has stagnated.
After they perform the hilarious "Get Help" sneak attack routine, Loki slinks off to a control
panel to turn Thor in while a magic double walks alongside his brother. Of course, Thor knew that
would happen too. During his big speech in the elevator, before suggesting they do "Get Help,"
Thor planted one of the Grandmaster's obedience disks on Loki when patting him on the back. After
triggering the device in the hangar, he explains that Loki's becoming predictable. Then, he makes
sure to put the remote for the obedience disk somewhere Loki can reach it. Okay, not really.
"I'll just put this over here for you."
The open scene of “Ragnarok” begins with Thor narrating,
supposedly to us, but maybe to the skeleton in his cage.
“I know what you’re thinking, 'Oh no! Thor's in a cage, how did this happen?'"
He explains that, sometimes, you have to get captured in order to get a candid response
from someone. Before the bottom drops out of the cage and the god of thunder is left
dangling by a length of chain, Thor wonders aloud how long they'll be there.
But where exactly is he? Thor's location, as it turns out, is the fiery realm of Muspelheim,
inhabited by fire demons, the chief of whom is Thor's captor,
Surtur. But even chained up in front of a fire demon, Thor manages to sneak in a good joke.
"Thor, son of Odin.”
“Surtur, son of ... a b----!"
Clearly, Thor's been spending too much time around Tony Stark.
Thor's best joke in the MCU is a quip that's a bit understated but absolutely hilarious.
After preventing the end of the world in "Ragnarok," Thor returns to Asgard from
Muspelheim, having ripped Surtur's tiara off. After witnessing someone he's pretty sure is
not Odin taking in a live performance of "The Tragedy of Loki of Asgard," Thor unmasks Loki
with the threat of splattering his brother with Mjolnir. Then he demands to see his father,
whom he believes Loki has spirited away. To accomplish that, a pre-Executioner Skurge
uses the bifrost to send them to Earth, where Loki and Thor witness the demolition of the Shady Acres
Care Home in New York City. Loki swears he left Odin right there, to which Thor asks if he means
on the sidewalk where they're standing or where the building is being demolished. Unsurprisingly,
Loki doesn't think he's to blame. After another sarcastic remark from Thor, Loki responds,
“How was I supposed to know? I can't see into the future; I'm not a witch.”
“No? Then why do you dress like one?"
Funny and true. With the black-on-black suit and shoulder-length greasy hair,
Loki indeed looks like he just stepped off the Hogwarts Express.
Take your best guess which House he'd belong to. We're pretty sure it wouldn't be Hufflepuff.
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