If you think I'm gonna spend more than five minutes
on this dumpster, then you're crazy!
I mean, look at this place.
It's disgusting!
Whoever told you that hanging oil lamps
next to hardwood paneling was a good i...
[screaming]
Oh. Now what?
I suppose you're gonna show... Oh. Oh. Gee, that's very nice.
Oh. What is this, some kind of magic act?
[screaming]
It's a jellyfish.
Pretty good, SpongeBob,
but it's lacking basic construction,
and your perspective leaves a lot to be desired.
Eh. Everybody's a critic.
SpongeBob, your drawing's coming to life!
Now, that's more like it, Mr. Critic.
No, I mean, it's swimming away!
Do you know what this means, Patrick?
Your art can never hang in a museum.
It means we found a magic pencil!
Now, all I need is a magic mustache!
And all my dreams will have come true.
[laughing]
Coming right up!
Life is good!
Easy come easy go.
Squidward, if you had some hair,
you'd be the most gorgeous creature in the sea.
You've got looks, talent...
all you need is a full head of hair!
My turn.
Be careful, Patrick.
Being an artist is a heavy responsibility.
Each work of art is like a child and must be treated as such.
Come on, I was just gonna draw a cartoon.
Okay. Why didn't you say so?
Hey, another jellyfish.
It's Squidward, silly.
[mumbling]
Kinda creepy looking when it moves.
You're right, SpongeBob.
We can't let him go into town!
[mumbling]
Poor Squidward.
Squidward.
Are you questioning the authority of the Magic Conch?
The conch is the one who gave us this banquet.
This copyrighted conch is the cornerstone of our organization.
Maybe he's not a brother.
Hey, you guys have it all wrong.
I love this piece of plastic.
Hello there.
Magic Conch,
I was wondering,
uh,
should I have the spaghetti or the turkey?
Neither.
Oh. Then how about the soup?
I don't think so.
Could I have anything to eat?
No.
No! What do you mean, no? I'm starving here!
Here, let me try!
Magic Conch,
could Squidward have some of this
yummy, delicious, super, terrific sandwich?
No.
Hmm.
Could I have this yummy, delicious,
super, terrific sandwich?
- Yes. - Alright!
Sorry, Squidward.
Hmm.
So, this is limbo?
Well, at least I have
a sack full of the doubloons to spend eternity with.
Uh oh.
Gotta use the can.
Ooh! There's a bit of luck. A portable potty.
What's this here?
Insert doubloon?
No!
Wow.
This voyage sure is relaxing.
Hey.
I've got a donut on my head.
Come here, you!
Hey!
Come back here!
[screaming]
Why is this happening to me?
Gah!
[laughing]
Welcome to your worst nightmare.
[screaming]
No!
[laughing]
♪ Welcome ♪
♪ To Squidward's Tiki Land ♪
♪ Tiki, tiki ♪
♪ Welcome ♪
♪ To Squidward's Tiki Land ♪
♪ Tiki, tiki ♪
♪ You can relax all day ♪
♪ Like a tiki can ♪
♪ Tiki, tiki ♪
♪ Or lay out in the sun ♪
♪ For a tiki tan ♪
♪ Tiki, tiki ♪
♪ Or drink from a coconut ♪
♪ That's full Of [indiscernible] ♪
♪ Here in ♪
♪ Squidward's Tiki Land ♪
♪ Tiki, tiki ♪
♪ You can play all day ♪
♪ In a tiki band ♪
♪ Tiki, tiki ♪
♪ Then dance all night ♪
♪ On the tiki strand ♪
♪ Tiki, tiki ♪
♪ Don't matter to me ‘cause ♪
♪ ‘Cause I'm crazy, man! ♪
♪ Here in ♪
♪ Squidward's Tiki Land ♪
♪ Tiki, tiki ♪
It's SpongeBob's!
Oh.
Go on and eat it. What are you waiting for?
Don't do it! It's SpongeBob's doughnut.
Don't listen to him.
He's covered with sprinkles.
[crying]
I hate conflict!
It couldn't get any easier than this.
Just hook a chain to it, pop it in your mouth,
and then when your sponge friend wants it back,
just yank it out.
I hate to admit it, but that's a great idea.
[laughing]
[humming]
Huh?
Squidward!
What's going on?
Why haven't you called me?
Mother?
Why haven't you called your mother?
Gah!
Squidums loves his mama.
Why don't you call me then?
Why don't you call me?
I heard you don't believe in ghosts!
Ghosts?
As in, the Flying Dutchman!
[laughing]
[screaming]
But there's no such thing as ghosts, no such things!
No such thing as ghosts?
No such thing as ghosts!
You don't believe in ghosts!
[gasping]
SpongeBob?
[laughing]
Ooh, scary.
No! No!
That's impossible!
Ghosts! Ghosts!
This be the legendary prophecy?
[laughing]
Oh, that be-eth rich.
It would almost insult me, were it not so funny.
Planktonamore,
thou art cocky and overly confident with thyself.
Trusteth in me, Karen.
I just knowest what I am doing.
Come hither, boy.
Deliver my demands on to His Majesty, King Krabs.
[laughing]
[coughing]
[laughing]
Once upon a time,
[laughing]
Perfect.
I win!
Wahoo hoo hoo!
[laughing]
Hmm?
Hello. What's this?
This plaque is to commemorate
the brave pirates who gave their lives
to keep this box safe from the robot menace.
Lest we forget.
Oh!
Gotta find that button quick.
It's gotta be around here somewhere!
I don't see anything. It's just an empty box.
Maybe it really was their imagination.
Oh! Get it together, Squidward. What are you saying?
I mean, do I really believe
that if I sit here and pretend to drive a race car,
that I'm suddenly going to start hearing noises?
What the?
It actually works.
I can't believe it.
[laughing]
Oh boy.
This beats TV by a long shot!
[laughing]
Wahoo!
[laughing]
This is the most fun I've ever had!
Listen to that, Gary.
Squidward finally made the box work, after all.
That is so great.
[laughing]
Woo hoo hoo!
[laughing]
Vroom, vroom. Only two more laps left to the finish line!
[laughing]
I'm in the lead! Out of my way!
I'm almost there!
[laughing]
Woo hoo hoo!
Victory is mine!
[laughing]
Oh! Bleh! Waa!
[mumbling]
Oh.
It looks like my front door.
Behold, the hole of arts.
Incredible.
[whimpering]
The creativity, the artistry.
This painting is so realistic,
it looks like you could step straight into it.
And you can.
Whoa!
Whoa.
Give me that thing.
[grunting]
Hey, the invisible spray works!
And on your right, if you look,
you'll see two naked guys fighting over a can of paint.
[laughing]
[gasping]
Oh my gosh, Patrick! Help me find our clothes!
[laughing]
I gotta hand it to you, SpongeBob,
you look kind of funny.
[laughing]
Oh!
Righty, where are you?
[laughing]
Bo one messes with Righty!
Gah! We'll see how you like it!
Kinda gives you an empty feeling, huh?
Yeah!
I see what you mean. He he.
No guts, no glory.
[laughing]
Oh, hey, I think this thing is empty.
Oh no, it can't be.
How are we gonna pull off the ultimate prank?
Thanks a lot, Patrick.
You used the last of it.
Nah!
Hey, I think I found our pants.
Oops. Here, these are yours.
Oh, forget the pants, Patrick.
Let's get home and wash his paint off.
Who dares to see Mr. Magic?
[screaming]
Speak up!
It is I,
SpongeBob of the Squarepants,
Magician, Level one.
And I have changed my friend into ice cream.
Good job.
Well, thank you, but... well, I can't change him back!
Hmm. Um.
Well, have you ever thought of a different hobby?
I need your help to change him back.
My help! Um, no, thank you.
But if you don't, my friend will be a cone forever!
Sorry, I... um... I'm out to lunch, that's it.
I'll wait.
I'm on a two year lunch.
No, please.
Silence!
But, sir, no one else has your power of sorcery.
Thank you.
Hey, SpongeBob,
there's a guy over here talkin' into a tubey thing.
Uh, ignore your friend.
The fish you see is only an illusion.
Oh.
Why's he saying the same thing Mr. Magic's sayin'?
I don't know, Patrick.
Ho ho ho ho!
Merry Christmas!
Ho ho ho ho!
[laughing]
Ho ho ho ho! Ho ho!
Oh!
[laughing]
Yep. I'm insane.
Merry Christmas! Ho ho ho.
Whoa.
Look at this place!
It's so cheesy.
Check out this lame door knob.
[screeching]
[laughing]
Let's check out inside.
I don't know, Patrick.
Oh, come on. Don't be such a baby.
Wow.
So lame.
Nice attention to detail, though.
Ha. So not scary!
Hey, this is a nice picture.
[screaming]
Did you say something, SpongeBob?
[screaming]
Eee.
Hey, SpongeBob, check this out!
Okay, I'll be right there.
Even the spiders are fake.
I wish something would pop out of a closet!
Like a big, hairy hand!
That would be scary.
[screaming]
However, this place is too low budget for that.
Would be cool, though, wouldn't it?
Whoa!
[gasping]
Hey! Don't I get a say in this?
I'll see you later, SpongeBob.
Things are getting a little weird around here.
So long.
Happy Leif Erikson Day!
He's alive.
Of course.
Otherwise he couldn't tell such funny jokes.
[laughing]
- I didn't see that coming. - Okay by me, I'm gone.
Whoa!
Oh hello...
and goodbye.
[screaming]
Ah ha!
[screaming]
Come on!
How ya like them apples?
[screaming]
So, you were gonna break my bottle, eh?
That's the last time I go on vacation
and sublet my bottle to someone without references!
What did you do to it? It's all chipped and scratched?
Calm down, you're insured.
Who's this clod with my bottle?
Who's that bottle with my clod?
So, you all like bottles, eh?
[mumbling]
[screaming]
Mmm. Poor baby.
Next time I'll take you with me to visit Mama.
Hey you guys, I... huh? Hmm. Guess they worked it out.
Ah, it's so heartwarming to live in a world with real magic.
And the greatest magic of all,
is the way my friends are so close to each other.
[chattering]
Yuck. This bottle of ketchup's gone bad.
[humming]