How to tell if a guy is using you. Today, I'm doing part two of this important topic
on how to spot a user.
Don't forget to download the guide to the Top 10 Male Dating Personalities
That Can Lead to Heartbreak.
It's your free gift and it's in the description below and
I'll see you on the other side of this.
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How to tell if a guy is using you. So welcome to part two.
If you haven't yet watched part one, I'd encourage you to do so.
I've got 7 signs of a user in that video,
and I'm going to give you 7 more crucial ones here today.
Number one, all your time together is one-to-one.
So this is something really common that I see both with clients' discovery call.
There's lots of women who talk to me who are really, really keen on a guy,
but the big complaint is he just doesn't hang out with friends.
He doesn't want to make more connections. It's always one-on-one.
It's a real sign that a guy isn't incorporating you into his life.
If he's not eventually spending time around you in formats outside
of one to one, it's great if things are progressing,
you know it might have started one-to-one at home, but then you're going out of the
house more and maybe he meets one of your friends.
Things should roll on that way, but if it's consistently just one-to-one, if there's no
progression, if he's always got excuses, it's a real sign that guy could be using you
or is using you for one or more of the boyfriend benefits.
Number two, he rarely stays the night or asks you to leave afterwards.
So this is a pretty common sign in users, particularly as it relates to sex,
but it can go on to guys who also don't want to fully emotionally connect
and want to use you for some of that connection.
If a guy never wants to stay after sex, if he never wants to spend time around
emotionally connecting, that's a really strong sign that guy's using you.
Number three, he's consistently inconsistent.
So you keep trying to get more out of him. And maybe you have the talk to him that,
"Hey, I want you to put in more investment or I want you to do this,"
and he verbally agrees, but he's just consistently inconsistent.
He might step up his game for a while, but the relationship kind of smolders
along at this moderate level that never really,
if you're honest with yourself, makes you happy.
The guy who's using you is happy to sit in his relationship comfort zone
and even though he might talk the talk, he's not going to want to meet you in yours.
Number four, you don't get out of the house together.
So this is similar to all your time is being spent one-on-one,
especially if you're not even going out of the house at all.
And there's a consistent pattern where he's changing dates and inviting you around instead.
Or he's always just wanting to come to your house and not do anything else with you.
And the time there might be quite good, but if that's all it is,
if he's never getting out of the house with you, that's a really strong sign that that guy's using you.
Number five he consistently guards his phone, so this is one that the users and the players
have in common is that they don't want you emotionally disconnecting before the point
where they can get what they want. Now, for the player, that's just sex, but for the user
that can go on a lot longer because he wants to keep that emotional stickiness up so he's
likely to be protective of his phone. He's not likely to want to give you reasons to
emotionally disconnect from him. Guarding of the phone, especially long-term is a strong
sign of a user.
Number six, he's not keen to try exclusivity after a reasonable amount of time,
so it's understandable that at the beginning, a guy's not going to want to jump
into a relationship. A woman's not going to want to jump straight into a relationship.
You want to take time to sell yourself on the idea to have
great experiences with that person.
Then to say, I want to have these experiences more often and more consistently, but if over
time you've had those great experiences together after months of these great experiences and
he still doesn't want to commit to being exclusive with you, it's a sign he's either using you
or is emotionally unavailable. In either case you're being used for that connection. In
either case, he's still wanting the support and companionship of having you around, and
in either case, you've got to call a spade a spade. He's using you.
Number seven, finally, is your intuition tells you he's using you.
So what's stronger than a woman's intuition, right?
But unfortunately, perhaps due to upbringing or previous bad relationships or something
else that's going on in their life, a lot of women, a lot of you lose that trust in
your intuition. Your intuition is one of the most powerful sensors that you have.
If it's telling you a guy is using you, investigate it, trust it. We've got a video on how to
tell the difference between insecurity and intuition. So if you are doubting yourself,
that video should really help you to tell you which is driving you. But don't ignore
your intuition. If it's telling you something, investigate it, believe it.
Well, that's the video. Thank you for watching.
That is the 14 signs between the two videos that a guy is using you.
Make sure you check out the part one if you haven't already, and be very
aware of users because while a player can hurt you and use you for sex, a user can drag
things out for years. I don't want that for you. So make sure you download the guide as
well. The 10 Male Dating Personalities That Lead to Heartbreak
so that will help you along with the user video to identify these guys that aren't right for you.
Don't forget to hit that big red subscribe button. Hit the little bell, so you get the notifications.
Give the video a like, and I will see you in the next video very soon.
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