When is it a good time to text your ex?
In this video, I’m going to answer this exact question…
AND I’m going to give you additional texting tips to make sure that your ex comes back
to you as SOON as humanly possible.
How’s it going, everyone?
Brad Browning here, breakup and marriage expert.
I’ve been doing this for over 10 years and I’ve written two best-selling books on the
topic!
So if you’re interested receiving the very best in breakup and marital advice, just hit
the subscribe button right below here.
So today, I’m going to talk about WHEN to text your ex… and furthermore, I’ll share
some tips on EXACTLY what to say when you finally DO text your ex.
If you’ve been watching my videos before, then you’ll probably know a little bit about
what to do directly after the breakup.
If you haven’t watched those videos yet, then search “Brad Browning No Contact”
in YouTube’s search bar and I guarantee you that you’ll find some really helpful
information about this.
But the quick and dirty is this: the No Contact phase is a period of around 30 days after
the breakup in which you absolutely do NOT, under any circumstance, text, call, or communicate
with your ex.
The goal of this phase is to make your ex return back to what I call “emotional neutral”,
that is… you want your ex to return back to a mental state where they’ll be more
receptive to receiving your calls and text messages.
I know I know, this might sound a little confusing right now, but I assure you my other videos
on No Contact will help you out if you’re interested in learning about it more.
So in this video, I’m going to assume that the 30 days of No Contact has already passed…
and that you’ve generally followed the advice that I usually give directly after a breakup.
But before I get into WHEN you should text your ex…
I’ll go over some very quick guidelines on when to NOT text your ex.
1.)
First thing in the morning or right before going to bed.
If you’re texting your ex during either of these two times, you might be coming across
as a little bit needy.
If you’re texting your ex first thing in the morning, he or she is going to assume
that you’re thinking about them as soon as you wake up.
And if you’re texting your ex at night, he or she is going to assume that you might
be lonely and in need of someone to talk to.
So these are two times that should be avoided at all costs.
In a minute, I’ll go over a few times in the day when you SHOULD be texting your ex.
2.)
During special occasions outside their birthday.
One of the most common questions that I get in my coaching sessions is…
“Should I wish my ex a Happy New Year?” … or Christmas…
Or Halloween…
Or Thanksgiving, etc.
Generally speaking, the answer that I give is ALWAYS NO.
Remember, when you DO text your ex, you need to make sure that you have a real purpose.
Wishing your ex a happy Thanksgiving is NOT going to help you build attraction with him
or her, so don’t even think about it!
The only exception that I make is for their birthday.
The reason being is because birthdays are personal… and your ex might take it as an
insult if you forget to wish him or her happy birthday.
They won’t care if you don’t wish them a Merry Christmas, for example.
And by the way, if you DO text your ex to wish him or her a happy birthday, don’t
use it as an excuse to start a conversation.
End it DEFINITIVELY… for example, you could say something like…
“Happy birthday!
Hope it’s a good one.”
Or…
“Happy birthday, hope you’re doing well.”
Just remember, you’re NOT in a relationship with your ex anymore… so there’s no reason
that you should treat your relationship with your ex as if you were still in one.
But more on this later.
3.)
When you’re drunk or feeling lonely.
This is probably one of the most common mistakes I see my coaching clients make… they’ll
say something like, “Omg, Brad, I got drunk last night and texted my ex that I miss him…”
Again, if you’ve been watching my videos, then you know that this sort of behaviour
makes your ex LESS attracted to you.
I’m sure you’ve drunk texted someone before like this…I think we all have… but if
you really want to get your ex to come crawling back to you, then this sort of stuff WON’T
work at all.
If you’ve ALREADY texted your ex this, don’t worry, because there are things you can do
to salvage the situation.
For example, in my Ex Factor Guide, I have this thing I call my “Clean Slate E-mail
Template” that helps ‘wipe the slate clean’ with your ex, so to speak… if you want to
learn more about this e-mail template, then head on over to BreakupBrad.com and watch
the free video presentation there.
But again, in short, delete your ex’s contact information from your phone if you plan on
going on a bender.
4.)
When your ex is already in another relationship.
This is another time where you should absolutely AVOID texting your ex like the plague.
If your ex is in a relationship already, then they’re probably in what is known as a “Rebound
Relationship” … these relationships typically don’t last very long anyways, but your ex
will absolutely not appreciate you texting them when they’re with another person.
Remember, getting your ex back is all about building yourself up in a natural, subtle,
and organic way.
If your ex feels like you’re purposefully trying to sabotage their relationship, or
that you’re actively trying to convince him or her that their new relationship is
no good, I can promise you that you will NEVER get your ex back.
So do NOT text your ex back during this period.
5.)
If you know your ex is still feeling extremely emotional about the breakup.
Sometimes, 30 days of No Contact isn’t enough.
In some cases, you’re going to have to use a little bit of your own discretion here.
For example, if you cheated on your ex, or your relationship ended in a highly negative
way, then your ex will indeed need much more time to get over these negative feelings.
Again, you want your ex to return to “Emotional Neutral” before you start texting your ex
again… meaning he or she is largely over the negative emotions that are associated
with your breakup.
If you feel like you’re in this situation, then you definitely should NOT be texting
your ex under any circumstance, EVEN IF IT IS their birthday.
It’s difficult to know when you SHOULD text your ex, so if you feel like you need some
extra guidance, then you might want to consider signing up for my personal e-mail coaching
service.
For more information on how you can sign up for my personal coaching and hire ME as your
breakup expert, then head on over to BreakupBrad.com/coaching.
On that page, you’ll see how many slots I have available and how it works.
If you DO see slots available, then I encourage to sign up because I am usually full.
So again, if you want to hire me, just head on over to BreakupBrad.com/coaching and I
promise that you will not regret it!
6.)
Right after they text you.
Finally, you definitely do NOT want to text your ex back right away if they do indeed
text you during No Contact.
If your ex is trying to reach out to you for something, then you need to convey to him
or her that you’re not waiting by the phone, 24/7, eagerly waiting to reply to them.
You need to convey to them that you’re a busy person and that they aren’t a priority
in their lives anymore.
I know, this might seem like a little bit of reverse psychology here, but I promise
you that if you do this properly, it’ll work like a charm and your ex will be chasing
you in no time.
So that’s a short list of times when you SHOULDN’T text your ex.
So what IS a good time to send something to him or her?
1) During lunch time.
I think that one of the least intrusive times to text your ex is actually lunch time – it
doesn’t scream that you’re needy or desperate, and it’s generally a time when people are
on their phones catching up on social media.
2) A day after they text YOU.
Again, you’re going to want to wait a period of time before replying to your ex if they
do text you.
Sometimes, I recommend waiting a full 24 hours before replying to your ex… and depending
on the situation, sometimes I recommend waiting longer.
Again, you might have to use some discretion in a situation like this – obviously if
it’s an emergency, you will have to throw all of this advice out the window.
3) On a weekday right after dinner.
Much like lunchtime, this is a great time to text your ex for the above reasons.
After dinner on a weekday is a time when people usually haven’t made any grandiose plans,
so texting around this time won’t come across as desperate or needy.
4) Finally, my personal favourite… early Sunday night!
Statistically speaking, Sunday nights are actually when people are MOST on their phones…
typically around 9 PM.
So this is a great time to send your ex a text message.
5) After you’ve found a LEGITIMATE reason to text your ex.
Again, if you’re texting your ex, you need to have a good reason to do so.
You can’t just simply send your ex a text asking them how they’re doing.
This is most definitely not a good reason to text your ex.
Instead, if a situation arises that allows you to send your ex a REAL question, then
go for it.
Ultimately, if you DO want your ex back, the whole goal of sending your ex a text is to
eventually set up a meeting.
You’re never going to convince your ex to come back to you just through texting – that’s
just not how attraction works.
So if you have a legitimate reason to text your ex to set up a meeting, even better!
In my program, I have DOZENS of example text message templates that you can use to ENSURE
that you get your ex out on a date… and ENSURE that you make him or her interested
in you again, and back in your arms in no time.
If you’re interested in learning more about everything you need to learn about “texting
your ex back”, then again, head on over to BreakupBrad.com and watch that free “how
to video” on my website.
It’s short and I promise that you’ll learn a TON.
Again, that URL is BreakupBrad.com.
Okay, I hope that answers your question on when to text your ex… if you have any additional
questions, feel free to send me to drop me a comment here and I’ll do my very best
to get back to you.
That’s all for today, thanks for watching!