- It's been so long.
- Where the heck did you go?
- You went away.
You sold your house.
- I left you.
- You moved to New York.
It was a bad break up, but I was like, "This
is for me and I need this."
- You needed some space.
- Yeah, I needed some space.
- Oh no.
- When are you moving to New York?
- You're still living with that lady, Emily Blunt?
- Pretty sure that's her name, yeah.
It's hard with all the accents, but I think it's Emily, yeah.
- Emily Blunt is--
you two are just the sweetest, most talented--
- Oh thank you.
- What a talented couple you two are, too.
- She raises our stock up.
She sort of tips the stock up in our favor.
- I can't wait for Mary Poppins to come out.
That's going to be amazing.
- Yeah, it's awesome.
- She just did that.
- You guys know Mary Poppins, right?
- You remember that?
- Yeah.
- She just did that.
And then since I've seen you, I met your little girl
up north in Montecito at the [INAUDIBLE] Ranch,
which is no longer there.
- Which is terrifying.
- Yes, but now you have a new little girl.
- We have number two.
Her name is Violet.
- I thought her name was Number Two.
- Number Two?
- Who named her?
- Yeah, I was a big Dr. Seuss fan, so I was like,
"Just Number Two is fine."
- You named her Number Two.
- Yeah.
- Violet.
- Yeah.
- And the first one is?
- Hazel.
You see, it's been so long I forgot her name.
- You forget the names, it's cool.
The last time they were popular was in 1890,
so you're like, "We're safe.
We're safe."
Yeah.
- No one's going to have another Hazel in class.
And how are they?
- They're amazing.
They're so much fun.
I feel like every time people talk
about their kids on this people are like, "We all have kids."
But they're amazing.
And they're geniuses.
No, Violet was very funny.
The other day it was a rainy day and I was trying to be a dad,
and I started singing her song, which is already a bad thing.
And there's this song for kids that
goes "Roly poly roly poly."
You guys don't it?
Oh that's weird.
And all of a sudden Violet, who's 18 months,
went, "Yeah, baby."
That deep.
And I was like, "Emily, first of all
had she heard the song before?
Second of all, what was that?"
And she's like, "I have no idea."
Three days we have no idea what that was.
Then we turned it on the car and it was like "Roly poly,"
and at the end of the song this guy just comes in and goes,
"Yeah, baby."
And I'm not kidding, she looked at me like, "Are we good?"
That's what that was.
Like, "Dad, you don't get me all ready."
- Oh my god, that's hilarious.
- It was weird.
- And in that deep voice.
- In that deep voice.
- She's perfect.
- She's this big.
And she was like, "Yeah, baby."
- That's extra tiny.
- Yeah, she's very small.
- She's very, very small.
I have this on here for a reason because Blake Shelton--
- Because you like Blake Shelton.
- Yeah.
Well, he's the sexiest man alive and I'm
sorry that you lost out, but you're in this section "Geeky
to Gorgeous."
- Oh boy.
- Yeah.
[CHEERING]
- Wow.
Oh good, they showed a high school picture.
- Yeah.
- Oh, that's great.
[LAUGHTER]
Oh great.
Perfect, you made it bigger.
- Yeah.
Yeah, that's what everybody wants, right?
- All right.
- You guys all want to see your high school pictures?
- Yeah.
I think it's great when you go through an awkward phase.
It's horrible when you're just like constantly popular
or gorgeous your whole life.
- That must be the worst.
- Yeah.
It must be.
I don't know what that's like, but it must be.
- I'm still in my awkward phase.
Look at these pants.
- I like them.
- Thank you, I like them too.
- Well, then why did you you say it like that?
- Because it's like an awkward phase, but it's cool.
It's "Geeky to Gorgeous," come on.
- I like it.
And you are gorgeous.
- Thank you.
- Do the girls like the beard?
That must be fun for them to play with.
- It is, yes.
They love it I thought they'd be terrified,
and then I shaved it after the movie.
In the movie I have the beard, and I shaved it
and my 3-year-old said, "What happened to the beard?"
And I said, "Oh, I shaved it, you know, and it's so smooth.
You can touch it."
And she went, "Put it back."
[LAUGHTER]
And I went, "Well, I'm not a Lego guy.
I can't just snap it back.
It's going to take some time."
- But you did it.
- I did it and I put it back for her.
- You listened to your daughter.
- Yeah, of course.
- Does Emily like it too?
She must like it also.
- She does like it.
- Yeah.
- Which again, I thought she'd be terrified.
But she does like it, yeah.
- So you did it for the movie, the scary movie.
I love scary movies, did you like them?
- Growing up?
- Yes.
- No, I still don't.
I don't like scary movies or any of that stuff.
And so, I'm the perfect person to direct a scary movie.
- But then why did--
[LAUGHTER]
No?
- No.
I thought just like a shark was going to come take me away.
- No, but really why would you do a scary movie if you don't--
I mean did it scare you?
Did it take away the mystique by directing a scary movie?
- Yeah, definitely.
My whole thing was I loved the story of scary movies.
So like, I haven't seen all the scariest crazy stuff nowadays,
but I watched "Jaws" and was that nerdy kid
who was like, "This isn't about a shark.
This is about three guys overcoming their fears."
And people were like, "Nerd."
But I remember when I was 11, my brothers
and I were over a friend's house and he
was like, "We're going to watch "Nightmare on Elm Street.
You want to watch it?"
And my older brother was like, "You know
what, I got to get John home.
He's too young for this."
And I remember leaving him being like, "You just used me.
You did not want to see that movie.
And you were like, 'Sorry guys, the little brother.'" And then
we got home and he was like, "Thank God we're not seeing
that movie."
And we've never seen my middle brother since.
So, I hope he's all right.
- Well I'm so, I can't-- because when we come back,
we're going to show a trailer, and I haven't seen it yet.
I don't think you're finished with it yet.
Is that right?
- Yeah.
I'm not finished with the movie, when it comes out
I still want be finished.
- Yeah.
I want to see it.
- It's just me in a costume being like, "Don't worry,
it's scary."
- No, I can't wait to see it.
And I asked about it and they said
they're getting it to me because I really love scary movies.
All right.
So one last question before we go to break,
they're bringing everything back now.
I mean, "Roseanne" is coming back,
"Murphy Brown" is coming back, and then
I heard that they're going to reboot "The Office."
Did you hear that?
- I did hear that on the internet.
Guess who didn't get a call?
Me.
What does that say?
NBC is like, "You know who we didn't like?
Jim.
- No.
That can't be.
Well then they're not doing it.
- It better not be true.
Oh my God.
Go to commercial, go to commercial.
- They wouldn't do it without you.
- Well, it looks like they are.
- No.
Really?
- I haven't gotten a call yet.
- But well, maybe they're not doing it.
- I was just looking for a phone.
Imagine if they were like, "Will you?"
And I'm like, "Let's suit up."
- Yeah.
Would you do it?
I hope you would.
- Oh my god, are you kidding?
I'd love to get that gang back together.
- Then you would move back here.
- I would move back here.
- Yeah and then we would see each other again.
- We'll shoot it in New York.
- Oh no.
What happened?