>> ALL RIGHT, OKAY, ALL RIGHT!
>> James: HOW ARE YOU, LARRY?
>> THIS IS REALLY THROWING ME.
>> James: WHAT ST?
>> YOU KNOW.
>> James: WHAT ARE YOU THROWN BY.
>> I'M THROWN BY THIS CONFIGURATION OF YOUR DESK.
>> James: YEAH.
>> AN THIS COUCH, BY THE WAY, BEAUTIFULOUCH.
>> James: THANK YOU.
>> BEAUTIFUL, LIKE AN ART DECO KIND OF THING, I LIKE IT A LOT.
>> James: APPRECIATE IT TWNS BUT WHY, YOU HAVE TO BE
DISTANCE, DIDN'T YOU.
>> James: YEAH.
>> YOUR DESK CAN'T BE ON THE RIGHT, EVERYBODY ELSE IS ON THE
RIGHT AM YOU GOT TO GO LEFT.
>> James: ABSOLUTELY.
>> LIKE YOU DRIVE IN THE U.K.
>> James: FOR SURE, THAT IS EXACTLY IT, THAT IS WHAT IT IS,
YEAH.
>> AND I AM TOTALLY THROWN OFF BECAUSE I WOULD GET IN AN
ACCIDENT IN I WAS DRIVING IN THE U.K.
>> James: THAT'S ALL RIGHT, ARE YOU NOT GOING TO GET IN AN
ACCIDENT.
>> HOW DID YOU PICK UP THE DRIVING HERE, ARE YOU GOOD AT
IT, IT MUST HAVE THROWN YOU.
>> James: IT IS MUCH EASIER, BECAUSE IF YOU LEARN TO DRIVE IN
LONDON OR A SUBURB OUTSIDE OF LONDON, IT IS A NIGHTMARE.
IT IS ALL TURN CIRCLES AND ALL THOSE THINGS.
HERE ESSENTIALLY IN L.A. IT IS JUST A MASSIVE STRAIGHTWAY.
>> I KNOW, BUT YOU ARE ON THE OTHER SIDE.
>> James: YEAH, WITH YOU YOU WILL IN A THREE LANE OR TWO LANE
OF TRAFFIC, IT IT FEELS, NOW THAT I HAVE LIVED HERE LONG, IT
FEELS WEIRDER WHEN WE GO HOME, WHEN WE WENT HOME IN THE SUMMER
I SPENT A GOOD 45 TO 50 SECONDS DRIVING DOWN A ROAD ON THE WRONG
SIDE.
>> THE WRONG SIDE AND IT IT WAS ONLY WHEN SOMEONE SHOUTED WHAT
THE [BLEEP] ARE YOU DOING.
I WAS LIKE OH MY GOD.
SO IT IS HARDER.
>> BY I WAY I NOTICED YOU USED THE F WORD ON YOUR SHOW.
WHAT IS THE DEAL WITH THAT?
>> James: I DON'T KNOW.
>> CAN I [BLEEP] HERE?
>> James: YEAH, YOU CAN [BLEEP] IT UP, JUST [BLEEP]
THAT.
(APPLAUSE) >> GREAT WORD, VERY UNDERUSED.
>> James: WELL, PARTICULARLY IN AMERICA.
>> OH YEAH.
>> James: IN AMERICA, AND I FOUND THAT OUT REALLY QUICK,
THAT THAT IS A BAD WORD HERE.
>> THAT IS A BAD WORD.
>> James: ARGUABLY AT HOME IT IS A TERM OF ENDEARMENT.
>> REALLY?
>> James: YEAH, YOU LOVELY [BLEEP]
(LAUGHTER) IT IT CAN BE.
>> I MIGHT HAVE TO TRY TO INCORPORATE THAT AND GIVE THAT
AS AN ANSWER.
THAT IS A TERM OF ENDEARMENT, WHAT ARE YOU COMPLAINING ABOUT.
>> James: I'M THRILLED YOU ARE HERE, YOUR FIRST TIME ON THE
SHOW, WE LIVE NEAR EACH OTHER IN LOS ANGELES.
>> YES, WE DO.
AND YOU REMEMBER I SPOTTED YOU AT A RESTAURANT.
>> James: YOU DID.
>> YEAH, HE WAS WITH HIS FAMILY, IT WAS A SUNDAY, HAVING
BREAKFAST WITH HIS FAMILY AND I WAS THERE.
AND I HAD THE OPTION IN MY HEAD AFTER I SPOTTED YOU, SHOULD I GO
OVER AND SAY HELLO?
OR SHOULD I KIND OF SNEAK OUT THE WAY I NORMALLY WOULD DO.
>> James: YEAH WITHIN AND JUST PRETEND I DIDN'T SEE HIM.
>> AND ALL THE TIME I'M THINKING I WONDER, IF I GO AND SAY I HAD
TO LARRY DAVID, IS IT WEIRD, WOULD I, IT IS SO WEIRD, TWO
PLIRMS DON'T GO WELL THAT GUY IS A PLUMBER, I SHOULD GO.
>> EXACTLY, RIGHT, I KNOW.
SO I-- THERE IS SOMETHING ABOUT THIS GUY, I LIKE THIS GUY.
I THINK I LIKE THIS I GOO.
AND I'M GOING TO GO OVER AND YOU WERE WITH YOUR FAMILY.
>> YEAH.
>> AND I CAME TO THE TABLE.
>> James: YOU DID.
>> AND I SAID HELLO.
AND TELL ME IF I DIDN'T SAY THE EXACT RIGHT AMOUNT OF TIME, HUH?
HUH?
DID I?
HIT IT RIGHT ON THE-- .
>> James: NOT OVER A SECOND.
>> I DIDN'T GO OVER ONE SECOND.
>> James: IT WAS LIKE THERE WAS A MENTAL CLOCK, YOU HAD A
DOG, THE MOST BEAUTIFUL DOG I HAVE EVER SEEN, MY KIDS WERE
ENAMOURED WITH THE DOG, YOU SAID HAVE A GREAT BREAKFAST.
YOU LENT INTO ME AND SAID LOOK AT THAT, THE EXACT PERFECT STOP
AND CHAT.
>> PERFECT STOP AND CHAT.
>> James: NOW WHEN YOU STARTED OUT, YOU WANTED TO BE AN ACTOR,
RIGHT, OR BEFORE A COMEDIAN, IS THAT RIGHT?
>> YOU KNOW, I GOT OUT OF COLLEGE.
I DIDN'T QUITE KNOW WHAT I WANTED TO DO.
AND I WAS IN SCHOOLK PEOPLE SAY WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO.
I DON'T KNOW, SOMETHING WILL TURN UP.
COURSE IN THE BACK OF MY MIND I KNEW NOTHING WAS GOING TO TURN
IT UP.
>> James: RIGHT.
>> SO I, YOU KNOW, I NEEDED SOMETHING TO SAY TO WOMEN WHEN
THEY SAID WHAT DO YOU DO.
>> James: RIGHT.
>> YOU NEED AN ANSWER FOR THAT.
>> James: FOR SURE.
>> YOU CAN'T SAY I LIVE WITH MY PARENTS.
>> James: YEAH.
>> YOU HAVE TO HAVE AN ANSWER TO WHAT DO YOU DO.
SO I NEEDED A COOL THING TO SAY BECAUSE LET'S FACE IT, THIS
WASN'T ENOUGH.
THIS, THIS WAS NOT GOING TO SU FIES.
>> James: RIGHT, SURE.
>> I NEEDED MORE THAN THIS.
I NEEDED SOMETHING OUTSIDE OF THIS.
>> James: SURE.
>> THAT COULD AID AND ABET.
>> James: I AM AWARE OF THAT FEELING.
>> YOU KNOW THAT.
SO I THOUGHT YOU KNOW, AN ACTOR, MAYBE I COULD BE AN ACTOR.
IT IS A COOL THING TO SAY, WHAT DO YOU DO, I'M AN ACTOR.
ASK ME WHAT YOU DO DO.
>> James: SO WHAT DO YOU DO?
>> I'M AN ACTOR.
ASK ME AGAIN.
>> James: SO WHAT DO YOU DO?
>> I'M AN ACTOR.
>> James: WOW, YEAH.
>> SO YOU KNOW, THERE'S SOMETHING TO SAY.
SO UNFORTUNATELY, AND I THOUGHT YOU KNOW, MAYBE, MAYBE I COULD
ACTUALLY DO THIS, WHY IS IT STO HARD.
WHAT IS IT, I SEE PEOPLE ON TELEVISION DOING IT.
WHAT DO YOU-- THERE ARE THINGS TO SAY, RIGHT.
THEY GIVE YOU SOMETHING TO SAY AND YOU SAY IT, WHAT IS SO HARD,
RIGHT?
>> James: YEAH.
>> SO OKAY, WELL, WHAT-- I WILL TAKE AN ACTING CLASS, SO I TOOK
AN ACTING CLASS.
COULD NOT HAVE HATED IT IT MORE.
I DID NOT LIKE IT IT ONE BIT.
>> James: YEAH.
>> BECAUSE I KEPT HAVING TO WAIT FOR SOMEBODY ELSE TO FINISH
TALKING BEFORE I COULD TALK.
>> James: SURE.
>> AND I WANT TO TALK.
I DON'T LIKE NOT TALKING.
SO WHEN THER HE'S TALKING, I DON'T EVEN HEAR WHAT THEY'RE
SAYING.
I'M JUST WAITING FOR MY TURN.
AND THEN I SAY IT, AND THEN THEY START TALKING AGAIN, AND I GOT
TO WAIT AGAIN FOR MY TURN.
AND THE WHOLE THING WAS NOT APPEALING TO ME.
AND THEN ONE NIGHT WHILE I WAS IN THE ACTING CLASS, I WENT TO
SOME BAR WITH SOME FRIENDS AND I WAS TALKING TO A WOMAN.
I THOUGHT I WOULD TRY IT OUT.
SHE SAID SO WHAT DO YOU DO?
>> I SAID I'M AN ACTOR.
AND SHE SAID WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?
>> (LAUGHTER)
THAT WAS THE END OF THAT.
>> James: WELL, WHEN YOU STARTED DOING STAND UP, DID
YOU-- HOW SUCCESSFUL DID YOU BECOME AS A STAND UP COMEDIAN.
>> OH, WILDLY SUCCESSFUL.
>> James: DID YOU MAKE IT ON TO LATE NIGHT, DID YOU DO THAT
SORT OF CIRCUIT OF MAKING IT ON TO LATE NIGHT SHOWS AND THINGS
LIKE THAT?
>> NO, NOT EVEN CLOSE.
>> James: OH REALLY.
>> I WAS TERRIBLE.
I HAD NO ACT.
I WASN'T VERY GOOD.
I REALLY WASN'T VERY GOOD.
YOU KNOW, THE OTHER COMEDIANS LIKED ME AND THE WAITRESSES
LIKED ME, THE AUDIENCES COULDN'T STAND ME.
NO, BUT A-- ONE NIGHT I WENT ON THE IMPROVE AND AFTER I FINISHED
I WAS IN THE BAR HANGING OUT WITH SOME COME ESKS.
AND THEN I HEARD THAT THE TALENT COORDINATOR FROM THE TONIGHT
SHOW WAS IN THE AUDIENCE.
>> James: IT WOULD HAVE BEEN JOHNNY CARSON.
>> RIGHT, JOHNNY CARSON.
AND AT THAT TIME THE TONIGHT SHOW WITH JOHNNY CARSON, THAT IS
ALL COMEDIANS COULD TALK ABOUT.
OH, JOHNNY, OH, JOHNNY.
I'M GOING ON JOHNNY, DID JOHNNY LIKE YOU, WHAT DID JOHNNY SAY.
JOHNNY, JOHNNY, JOHNNY.
THAT WAS IT.
EVERY NIGHT, ALL YOU HEARD WAS JOHNNY, JOHNNY, JOHNNY.
SO OH, HE WAS IN THE AUDIENCE, THAT MEANS HE SAW ME, OKAY.
AND OKAY, I DID MY TIME, I WAS GOING TO GO HOME AND IN ORDER TO
LEAVE I HAD TO PASS HIM, THE TONIGHT SHOW TALENT COORDINATOR.
AND I PASSED HIM AND HE LOOKED AT ME.
AND HE SAID JOHNNY WOULDN'T LIKE YOU.
(LAUGHTER) AND I SAID, YOU KNOW WHAT, I'M
NOT SURE I WOULD LIKE JOHNNY.
>> James: NOW LOOK, WE HAVE TO TALK ABOUT CURB YOUR ENTHUSIASM,
THE 11th SEASON STARTS ON SUNDAY.
WE'RE SO EXCITED THAT IT'S BACK.
WHAT CAN YOU TELL US ABOUT THE SHOW?
>> BY THE WAY, ARE THERE NO COMMERCIALS IN THIS SHOW?
WHERE-- WHERE-- .
>> James: WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK, EVERYBODY, STICK AROUND.
>> >> James: THERE WILL BE.
>> OH.
>> James: I IMAGINE A LOT OF [BLEEP] STUFF WILL GET CUT.
TELL US ABOUT THE SHOW.
>> YOU KNOW, I NEVER REALLY LIKE TO GIVE AWAY TOO MUCH PLOT.
>> James: RIGHT.
>> BUT IT STARTS ON SUNDAY, SUNDAY NIGHT.
SOMEBODY TOLD ME 10:40 BUT I THINK IT'S 10:30.
>> James: RIGHT.
>> EASTERN TIME.
>> James: SURE.
>> YOU KNOW, I DONE KNOW, THE USUAL SHOW, IT'S THE SAME SHOW.
SAME CAST, SAME THING, YOU KNOW.
MORE OF THE SAME.