Hey, everyone.
Welcome to ALchemy.
I’m Alyson, your ally in transformation.
Today, I’m talking about the four letter F-word that messes with all of us.
The word Fear.
“Fear” gets tossed around back and forth like a ping pong ball so often when we talk
about life changes, personal struggles and the path to success, that it almost loses
its impact and descriptiveness.
Instead, it becomes this general, ambiguous thing that we know limits us or is trying
to protect us, but we can’t overcome it.
UN.
TIL.
NOW.
Mm.
The trick?
In order to Face Fear, you need to Face Fear.
Wow, sorry.
Let me clarify.
You need to GIVE.
FEAR.
A. FACE.
Cause when you picture Fear as a person you can recognize and place in an environment,
you can have the “TALK”.
See, there’s something very ironic.
Fear FEELS BIG.
You feel small.
When it enters the space, the air grows thick.
There’s an invisible force forbidding you to move forward, warning you of the worst
possible outcome to the point that you’re paralyzed, unable to see through the haze
to a doorknob right in front of you.
In reality?
Fear IS SMALL.
And YOU are BIG.
Fear is actually like a little kid sitting in the corner with their knees tucked, hair
covering their eyes, terrified.
Fear is afraid of itself.
And that ominous presence?
This is kinda gross, but that’s actually Fear’s B.O. filling the room, not as a smelly
odor, but as an energetic emission.
Fear is sweating profusely.
When you notice this switch in the power dynamic, you might sense your resentment toward fear
melting away as it's replaced with sensitivity and compassion.
Aw…
Or, now that you have the upper hand (laughs) like me, you’ll be tempted to intimidate
or ignore Fear as you muscle through your problem with willpower.
Oy.
But that doesn’t usually work.
Why?
(laughs) Because you haven’t had the TALK.
See, fear has the answer to your problem.
In fact, Fear knows something you don’t know about your situation, because you were
previously too afraid to ask.
What?!
So enough evading, it’s time for the TALK.
Go ahead and GIVE.
FEAR.
A. FACE. that you can recognize.
I personally like to imagine my younger Self.
Now, pop a squat anywhere.. and kindly ask Fear to sit across from you.
Do you feel silly yet?
Trust me, it won’t feel silly when you’re SUCCEEDING in ways you never thought possible.
Start casually and gently.
Spend like 10 minutes getting to know each other.
A sample starter kit:
Ask where Fear is from, meaning at what point they started tagging along with you, because
maybe there was a specific event or location.
Fear has been super fragile and quick to sound the alarm ever since you-know-what happened.
Ask what Fear believes is being threatened and therefore wants to protect you from in
this area of your life.
And let them know they can trust you with this knowledge.
Ask what secrets Fear knows about you that you haven’t yet discovered
or admitted to yourself.
And listen closely, because this information can open doors to new solutions.
Let the convo flow.
Talk about other areas where Fear shows up.
Answer any questions that Fear has for you.
I mean, how would an outcome change if you listened to Fear, versus Fear listening to
you?
Just remember:
Fear’s reality is a constant “worse case scenario”, so it may not always be rational
or factual.
Try not to judge or blame.
Two.
You don’t need to identify with Fear’s thoughts.
Fear’s truth doesn’t have to be YOUR truth.
Three.
Fear is SMALL and vulnerable.
Be kind.
When you’ve reached a good endpoint, thank each other for the chat, take a few deep breaths
(inhales and exhales) maybe crack open a journal, and then carry on with your day.
See, now that you’ve faced fear by giving fear a face, it’ll become easier to picture
Fear not as an enemy or obstacle, but simply, a smaller self who needs a little support.
You can easily separate the thoughts in your head and see which belong to whom, as well
as gather more intel on your situation when plotting your next big leap.
Ya know, it’s hard to hate someone up close when you’re both vulnerable, transparent
and trying to help.
Now.
Comment below what questions or thoughts bubble up when you give fear a face.
And for some bonus ALchemy, here’s your 5-minute contemplation.
Reflect on this and share your thoughts below:
“What the mind doesn’t understand, it worships or fears.”
Thanks for watching.
Like, Subscribe and Share with whoever this could inspire.
And I’ll see you next time, on ALchemy.