la to vegas tv versus reality if you understood anything about modern aviation
you know these planes fly themselves this baby is a technological marvel coming up
hey 74 crew welcome back if you don't know me my name is Kelsey i'm a 747 pilot my channel 74 gear
is all about aviation late to Vegas is a tv show that only ran for one season but it was
hilarious if you've ever been part of a flight crew there are some funny funny jokes in here
that really only a crew member would get i put a link to it down in the description below if
you want to check out the full season but i'm just going to cover episode one
let's get into it take it from me muay thai will change your life i myself started taking
lessons but i'm picking it up so fast and i'm also giving lessons captain cabin's ready and
doors are closed all right gentlemen it's time to get high i also fly this old bird just a little
captain's joke i never get high when i'm flying unless i mistime the edible another captain's joke
you really think that's a good use of everyone's time if i can't have some
fun with my passengers why am i here to fly the plane go do that ronnie i haven't taken
orders since i was in the air force or married fortunately i was honorably discharged from both
he still looks at pictures of his ex-wife and cries you want to do the honors yeah
no you never touched this this is captain dave time good afternoon everyone this is
your captain and friend i'd like to welcome you on jackpot airlines flight 1610 service to lost wages
why aren't you laughing i've heard it like 1200 times
i've talked about my aunt for being a flight attendant for many years and she actually told
me that they used to say this all the time when she ran from la to vegas the pilot would say that
service to lost wages it's kind of funny because that's clearly a real thing hanging out and
talking to passengers is something that i used to like to do when i was flying only passengers
but it's kind of a mix between the pilot some pilots like to hide up in the flight deck some
like to hang out and talk with people as they get on the plane most the time though you're not going
to be standing there because you're kind of in the island blocking for the flight attendants to move
back and forth usually what they'll do is they'll stand more in the doorway right here that blocks
off the flight deck but people can still get in and out and it also lets the flight attendants
be able to get from the galley to the passengers obviously the pilots won't be making jokes though
about doing drugs and today's day and age you can't make those jokes because somebody will hear
you think you're serious and by the time you land you're going to have the feds and the government
and the fbi and the police and everybody waiting there to drug test you to see what's going on and
nobody's going to find that joke very funny just a little captain joke i never get high when i'm
flying unless i miss time the edible please don't ever say that because you're going to get in a lot
of trouble i actually flew with a guy once that they walked up to the counter the whole crew was
there they walked up to the counter there was a passenger standing there and the passenger
said you guys look like you're still drunk and the captain heard that and the captain said okay great
and then he called scheduling and had everybody in the crew get drug tested and get alcohol tested
the reason being is because that guy making that statement in front of the passengers
could make a shadow of a doubt that they were drunk possibly when they boarded the aircraft and
so to avoid any possible problem he had everybody drug tested and everybody took a alcohol test or
a breathalyzer to verify that nobody was drunk and the flight was delayed several hours so that's not
a joke that you want to make to their crew because that's our license and our obviously our career on
the line if we were to fly drunk they can strip away all of your licenses so even though i make
a lot of jokes while i'm talking through these videos those things are very very serious for us
i talked about this in a previous video he still looks at pictures of his ex-wife and cries
in that 30 rock tv versus riha that i did with matt damon i told you guys that because we changed
altitude so much we have a tendency to cry more than other people but the part about him handing
the mic typically the captain does that briefing so they're not going to hand it to the first
officer while people are boarding on the ground here and most pilots are not going to get that
excited about being able to make that announcement because what happens is every other leg meaning
every different flight you have one pilot flying and the other pilot is working on the radios and
talking with air traffic control that pilot is also going to make the announcement to everybody
in the back of the plane while they're in flight so most pilots aren't going to get that excited
to make that announcement however there are a few pilots that love love talking on that pa system
and making those announcements i don't know why since this is episode 1 here let's take a look
at what is real on the flight deck here overall i think they did a really good job on this set it
looks a lot more accurate than i've seen on a lot of other sets first this is a boeing aircraft you
can tell partly by the color and the fact that they have yolks and not side sticks so the fact
that they had these dice hanging that's actually where the light switches are so while it's not
very common to see anybody hang anything from the light switches you technically could do it i have
seen people put a hawaiian hula girl on the dash i have seen that and a few other random things
but it's not very common but it would be doable and it does look pretty cool the other thing
that i notice here though is that they don't have headrests on the back of the chairs here that's
something that we have and you can adjust them in a few different ways but overall they did really
well in that set design nice to see you well look at that you two kids getting married this
weekend uh-huh that's fantastic you know if you need an officiant well actually we might are you
ordained uh yeah you're sitting in my ordination you know how a boat captain can marry anyone
i'm a plane captain it's the same thing it's not the same thing yes it is what the hell do you know
i know that you should be flying this plane and not talking garbage if you understood anything
about modern aviation you know these planes fly themselves this baby is a technological marvel
and besides my job isn't just about flying the plane it's about connecting with the
passengers connect with us by not crashing the plane i'll connect however the hell i want
there's actually a cockpit confessionals that will be in the future sometime about this situation
about airline captains being able to marry people like boat captains are so the reality is is that
airline captains cannot marry people and neither can boat captains i'm not sure where that rumor
started but we're not allowed to do it any more than any other normal person so you'd have to
have all the regular licenses or whatever you need to get somebody married it's not a automatic thing
that wants to become an airline captain that you can marry people or a boat captain as i was
talking about earlier some pilots do like to come back and chat with people during boarding some
also will walk through the whole cabin and thank everyone for choosing to fly on their airline
which is something that is super super old school you don't see that very much in today's day and
age but there are people that will do that however they're not going to do that in the middle of the
flight like you're seeing here they'll usually do it on the ground for a few reasons but the
part about him letting people know that he's a plane captain even though he's in uniform
i'm a plane captain that is 100 real because you know that we have to tell people no matter
what i'm often asked about this a lot about planes being able to fly himself like what this guy says
if you understood anything about modern aviation you know these planes fly themselves this baby is
a technological marvel the truth is is that the plane can do a lot of things by itself there's
something on the aircraft that i fly that has the ability to auto land which means that we can get
it set up and so it'll come in and stop down the middle of the runway and everything the pilots do
have to hit buttons and get things set up for it to do that but the plane does have the capability
of doing that so that's why i was talking about in a long video ago about could an ordinary passenger
land a regular commercial airliner yeah they could if there was somebody walking through the sequence
of steps that you need to do in order to get the plane lined up to come in and land like that
absolutely no problem but this part about the oxygen mask and him grabbing the oxygen mask
and taking a hit on it there's two things that are wrong with this first he doesn't pull down
on the mask when it comes out something that your flight attendants tell you and that you hear in
the safety briefing every time you get on a flight is that when the oxygen mask come down you have to
pull on it and the reason you have to pull on it is because you need to pull this pin out that is
up there pulling that pin out gets the oxygen generator going it's actually some chemicals
that are up there that allow you to breathe oxygen so he doesn't pull on that hard enough
for that pin to be released so you can breathe on it so that's something that most people don't
pay attention to when the flight attendants tell you or that you listen to on your safety briefing
but hopefully you'll now remember it in case you ever do need it the other reason is because up on
the flight deck we have actual oxygen we have a different type of mask it has smoke goggles and
all kinds of different things that we will need if we are ever in that situation so there's an
oxygen mask that you can get to any time and it's going to be a lot more oxygen versus this thing
that your would breathe as a passenger so if you really wanted to take a hit of oxygen he would
just go and take that i know you're thinking why do the pilots get the real oxygen we get
this chemical stuff well if you want to get the good stuff you just got to go to flight school
well bad news folks flight 1322 with service to los angeles will be delayed at least another hour
i just want to throw up in my own house and then she says i can't be with someone who's
always somewhere else so i say boo boo i'm a pilot and she says no emotionally somewhere else
then i don't know what she said i had to end the facetime because we were landing
hmm one more for the road scotty i'm wheels up in ten
it's club soda so it's very rare that the crews actually ever have to make that announcement that
you saw him making at the beginning there well bad news folks flight 1322 with service to los
angeles will be delayed at least another hour i have done it before because there was some massive
delay and for whatever reason passengers when they hear the pilot come on and make the announcement
there they believe it if the gate agent tells them they think that the gauge unit is totally lying so
there's been times where there's one delay after the next that i've gone out and actually made
the announcement to let people know and i know the gate agents really appreciate that because
passengers when they hear from the pilot it all of a sudden becomes fact versus when the gate
agent tells you but the flight attendants i've never seen a flight attendant do it
something that was interesting though is the way that he's sitting his hat down here
i don't remember why but i always flip mine over and i laid it the other way around i think because
when you lay it down this way it actually will tip over one way or the other the only problem
with that though is that then the top of the hat gets really dirty the other thing is that pilots
are not allowed to go to any type of a bar even if they're drinking juice they're not allowed
to go to any bar that's serving alcohol and the reason being is for this exact situation here
you don't want to be accused of drinking when you weren't the airline doesn't want you going
around a bar or being near a bar where a passenger thinks that possibly you're going to get a drink
before you get on a plane so in some airlines they actually have it written in the company policies
or the manuals or whatever you call it they have it written in there that you can't while in
uniform ever go to any bar even if you're leaving going on your way home you're not allowed to do it
so sometimes what you'll see is pilots when they're done working if they're going to catch
a flight going somewhere else as a passenger only not even as a jump seater but as a passenger only
there are some airlines that allow them to drink there so they'll go in change
their uniform and have a drink and be in casual clothes and then they're riding as a passenger
in no capacity as a crew member they'll take off their badge they'll take off everything because
then they're riding strictly as a passenger and the reason they do that is for what i
just explained now this part about him ending the facetime before landing i don't know what she said
i had to end the facetime because we were landing i have heard a pilot talking to people from the
flight deck while they're flying a plane in cruise however every airplane that i know of through ten
thousand feet on the way up or the way down the wi-fi is disabled i don't think it's to prevent
pilots from talking to people while they're landing the plane but i have heard of people
facetiming and talking to people while they're in cruise it's not something that passengers are
supposed to do and definitely not the pilots while they're working are supposed to do
but i have heard stories about it sit down colin we're done can we please just discuss it
ladies and gentlemen the captain has turned on the fasten seat belt sign please return to your seat
the seatbelt light isn't on right but we're not experiencing any wow that is a terrifying trick
and the thing that took my muay thai to the next level was when i realized there are no levels
you want flooded plane okay
what are you doing she's taking a walk mm-hmm and what's in your pocket is that oh a sock
are you gonna put a sock on the cockpit door yeah i'm doing it for all of you it's bad enough alan
has to watch it's not okay you cannot just go around putting socks wherever you want
captain steve who flies international says he has sex all the time with the passengers
how come i'm not allowed to do anything cool how come i can't bond with some 21
year old bros or officiate a wedding or make it with some edm hoe excuse me i'm in the house
and i cannot wait to hear all about that you think this is how i pictured my life
i grew up wanting to be a fighter pilot not flying the puddle jumper to vegas all i wanted to be
was a hero i'll just settle for one decent story please don't cockpit block me
ronnie can at least have my sock back my foot's freezing so i have had flight attendants call me
to put the seat belt sign on that is a true thing there is no secret knock to do like what you saw
there there's no secret knock to do it but i have had flight attendants call me and ask me
to put the seat belt sign on more than anything it's when i was flying the 747 when i was doing
a passenger flight and it got bumpy and one of the flight attendants that was working the back of the
aircraft called me and said hey it's getting a bit bumpy back here can you turn the seat belt sign on
part of the problem is that when you're flying cargo most of the time like i'm doing
sometimes we forget about just what level of bumpiness is a lot for us versus a passenger
so there was a case where we were flying and i thought this is pretty smooth but apparently it
was bumpy to passenger standards and the flight attendants called me to put the seatbelt sign on
so that does happen i've also had it where flight attendants call when they're getting ready to do a
meal service they'll ask us to put the seat belt sign on not always but that way it keeps some
people in their seats so that way they can get up and down the aisles quicker and get everybody
their food or beverages or all those things i have had flight attendants call for that reason as well
but there's no special knock like you saw there and i wish but there is no turbulence button
either it would be cool if there was such a thing but if you try to rock the controls
it just wouldn't move fast enough to simulate any type of turbulence wow that is a terrifying trick
unfortunately in the us we're not allowed to have friends on a plane so we can't do something like
this you wanna fly a plane okay i did talk about that i think in a confessionals a while ago about
something similar to like that happening but back in the 90s and before i think in the us you could
bring your friends and have them sit up there but you can't do that now however overseas and a lot
of international airlines you are allowed to do that if the pilot knows you they could invite you
and as far as for this part captain steve who flies international says
he has sex all the time with the passengers and now you know why i fly international oh
but the party with the flight attendant sometimes you'll have flight attendants that will be the
best wingman that you can have when you go out because they'll run around telling everybody
oh this guy's a pilot and some people think that that's really cool so some flight attendants can
be your absolute best wingmen but some of them can be uh cockpit blockers oh my god who cares
okay just calm down let me get you a nice warm beer do not come near me or i swear i
will go passenger 57 all over this place you leave wesley snipes out of this you people
are the villains and you know what happens to the villains they go down yeah that's right
i'll take out this whole plane they'll call me a hero they will throw parades in my honor
okay too far i get it that was too far consider yourself grounded
this is a pretty good story making love in the cockpit would have been a better one
i'm not sure if this guy's ever seen passenger 57 or i swear i will go passenger 57 all over
this place i did a hollywood versus reality on passenger 57 and pastor 57 is the good guy the
police officer wesley snipes he's that guy that's keeping all the bad guys in check and from getting
in trouble but this guy is acting like the bad guy and then this part right here where you see people
coming up because he's starting to make a scene i think that's very true since 9 11 americans
aren't going to let somebody do something crazy on a plane anymore it's just not our personality
we're not going to let that type of thing happen again i think if you had a person
that was acting very intense like you see this guy doing here people are going to get up and they're
going to prevent that from getting out of control that's very true but what isn't accurate is this
guy coming out of the flight deck i'm not going to get into all the security protocols because
i don't think i'm allowed to but what was funny though is that you notice as he came out he didn't
have a sock on anymore and the reason that's important to note is because i've been seeing
a lot when i've been flying on passenger planes people walking around planes in just their socks
that's so gross the floors of these planes are disgusting and what's even more disgusting as
i've seen people walking into the bathrooms on these planes in just their sucks no crew
member you will notice no crew member ever will ever walk around that plane in just their socks
and definitely not barefoot you'll never see a crew member go barefoot i mean he took his
sock off but he put his shoe on just goes to show you you should never ever walk around the plane
barefoot but yet i see some people do it it's so gross so not even with a terrorist attack will
a crew member walk around wearing no shoes 100 facts so if you're interested in being a pilot
and you're worried about having to learn mai tai to take down a terrorist you never have to
worry about that that's not something you ever need to worry about learning but you will see
from time to time pilots making these terrible dad jokes consider yourself grounded and while
that is a terrible dad joke most pilots would love to be that witty what the hell
i've got a black light and a little dance floor in my apartment bye guys is that my sock
this show is so funny i wish they had more seasons of it one thing they got wrong here is that the
first officers don't have those types of leaves on the top of their hat like that but that just
goes to show you that even though first officers sometimes are broke and living in tiny little
apartments or hotels they're still able to pull the ladies everywhere they go if you want to see
the hollywood versus reality on passenger 57 i'll put a link to that video right there and if you
want to hear some true stories that i've heard over my years about crews doing crazy things
check out this video up here i look forward to hearing from you until then keep the blue side up