You've had it.
You simply can't stand it anymore- the way people worship Baby Yoda and pretend like
The Mandalorian is a good tv show when it clearly isn't.
You can't figure out why nobody sees that Baby Yoda is nothing but an evil marketing
ploy to vacuum up all your merchandise dollars, while the TV show was half-baked at best.
After all, you don't need a good story or characters when you've got the Baby Yoda to
sell cups, stuffed dolls, backpacks... there's no limit to what Disney will slap that adorable
green face on.
You have to do something about this.
You have to save your beloved Star Wars.
Seriously, the last few movies have been punishment enough, and Solo?!
Oh man, let's just forget that even happened.
You know what you have to do.
You have to eliminate the Baby Yoda.
Except pump your brakes, because to get to the Baby Yoda first you have to get through
his guardian and protector: The Mandalorian.
He's the best bounty hunter in the universe, a skilled sharpshooter and gunfighter both,
he can destroy- oh wait, what's that?
The Mandalorian totally left Baby Yoda with some strange mechanic for two days?
He leaves the Baby Yoda unattended literally all the time?
Oh nevermind, yeah go ahead and just give him a good whack on his adorable little green
head and this is pretty much all over.
Or hug him tight while you play earthquake.
Well, The Mandalorian may be the worst babysitter in the galaxy, but at least he'll still be
out for blood after you take out his little compatriot.
So you better be ready to take on the legendary bounty hunter, The Mandalorian.
To defeat your enemy, you must know your enemy, and well, we're kind of grasping at straws
here.
See, typically when you write a tv show you create a compelling narrative, which you then
populate with equally compelling and interesting characters who have a rich history you slowly
reveal to the audience so that they can understand the character's motivations.
When you write a Star Wars tv show for Disney though, you literally do none of that and
instead fill your scripts with stereotypes and cliches.
I guess what we're trying to say here is that we don't really have much intel to give you
on The Mandalorian, because instead of writing a nuanced character, Disney's writers just
turned him into a giant cliché with no originality of his own.
What we do have though are a limited series of flashbacks, which can inform us as to his
origins.
At some point in time, Mando- super creative name by the way- was adopted into a tribe
of Mandalorians after his parents were killed in a raid of some sort.
Actually he may have always been a Mandalorian.
We honestly don't know, because as of this writing the show is halfway through a full
season and still hasn't told us diddly squat about Mando or his past.
Like, nothing.
There's womp rats out there with more backstory.
Well, what we do know is that Mando grew up as a Mandalorian, which are a fearsome warrior
race which once rocked the galaxy in a war of conquest.
They then discovered the Jedi who became their only worthy enemy, and developed specialized
tools and weapons that mimicked Jedi powers in order to combat their new archenemies.
One of these tools was a wrist-mounted repulsor which mimicked a Jedi's ability to use the
force to knock enemies away, other tools were specialized to neutralize Jedi powers- such
as grounding oneself from the worst effects of Force Lightning.
The greatest tool in a Mandalorian's arsenal though, was his or her's legendary Beskar
armor, made of a material sacred to the Mandalorians and the only known armor to protect from lightsabers!
See how all of that was really cool and interesting, and probably super important to know for the
sake of Mando's backstory?
Yeah, well Disney decided you needed to know literally none of that- because hey, it's
totally boring to hear how Beskar armor can stop lightsabers, or that Mandalorians and
Jedis were once archenemies, right?
Yeah, we went to bat for you and used our encyclopedic knowledge of Star Wars to bring
the story of the Mandalorians to life, you're welcome, Disney.
So Mando is equipped with Beskar armor, which can not only stop a lightsaber, but as we've
seen so far in the series, can even stop a laser sniper rifle's bolt from pretty close
range.
That's an impressive feat, which means that going up against Mando you probably want to
avoid hitting him in the Beskar.
You know, the opposite of what every villainous character in the TV show does when they constantly
punch him in the face.
A face protected by, you guessed it, a Beskar helmet.
So we guess our first tip for you in this matchup is, hey, maybe don't punch a dude
wearing a helmet in his face?
And definitely not when it's made out of a material that stops lightsabers in their tracks!
Mando's primary weapon is a long range blaster rifle that is cartridge fed, which is kind
of weird for the futuristic Star Wars universe, but is pretty terrifyingly powerful.
While it can't punch through vehicle armor, or at least not the heavy armor of an Imperial
Walker, it can and does absolutely vaporize people on the spot.
The writer that did the script for this episode once saw a deer run in a panic across a firing
range where .50 caliber machine guns were being fired.
The deer ran straight into the incoming fire and the huge rounds pretty much turned it
into a fine red mist with four severed legs.
Mando's rifle does the same thing- but with just one shot.
So protip: don't make like that deer and stay well out of the way!
At his hip though Mando carries his trusty blaster, a seemingly unlimited capacity close
to medium range firearm that can put a hole through most armor- specially Storm Trooper
armor.
Although admittedly, Storm Trooper armor can't even protect from rocks thrown by Ewoks, so
why they even bother to wear it is beyond us.
We’re pretty sure you can sneeze on a Storm Trooper and his armor would implode, how the
Empire managed to defeat most other military forces it encountered for so long is beyond
us.
Lastly, Mando has access to his personal starship, which is equipped with dual laser cannons
and can lay down some serious hurt.
As we saw in the series, a single blast from those cannons is enough to destroy another
fighter craft, so clearly they're packing a huge punch.
Here's the good news though: Mando will literally forget that he has access to this spacecraft
when he needs it the most, so you'll never have to worry about facing it.
Don't believe us?
Remember when he was forced to help defend a helpless village against evil raiders- *cough
cliché *cough?
Well once he found out they were packing a full-blown Imperial Walker, he decided that
instead of attacking from the air and blasting it to pieces with laser cannons, he would
just try to get it to step into a really big pit.
Oh, and then those peasant villagers would fight off the evil raiders with sticks, even
though you know, he has a freaking starship armed with laser cannons.
That's really Mando's biggest weakness- a complete and total lack of foresight or tactical
intelligence.
Sure, he's a regular hotshot and can probably bullseye a womp rat from his T-16 back home
on Tatooine, but when it comes to using his smarts... oh boy, that's not necessarily Mando's
strong suit.
Still don't believe us?
Fine, we'll prove it to you.
What did Mando do the moment he landed on a strange planet and he needed some cash?
That's right, he left literally the galaxy's most valuable bounty alone on the ship to
be discovered by some strange mechanic he'd never even met before.
I mean, who was taking care of Baby Yoda on that ship?
Was Baby Yoda feeding himself and changing his own diapers?
How often does Mando leave Baby Yoda stuck on that ship when the cameras aren't rolling?
Seriously, we're close to calling child protective services over here.
But here's the kicker, he then proceeds to pay the stranger mechanic to watch the Baby
Yoda for him for two days, without so much as even asking for personal references so
he can make sure this mechanic isn't a psychopath child-murderer.
Do they not have daycares in Star Wars?
Also, he leaves the Baby Yoda alone for two days even though he's fully aware that other
bounty hunters can track the child directly!
Seriously!
It literally just happened in the episode before that!
We saw a bounty hunter using that weird remote thing to track the Baby Yoda down, and he
almost put a cap in his ass too.
It's not like Mando doesn't know they could do that, he was doing it himself- it's how
he found the Baby Yoda and a bunch of other bounties.
He is intimately aware that the Baby Yoda is being tracked all the time, and yet he
still decides to leave it with a stranger so he can go speed bike through the desert
for two days.
Like we said, thinking is not Mando's strong point.
Ok, so how do you defeat an idiot in lightsaber proof armor that happens to be a pretty good
shot?
Well, pretty easily really.
Honestly, there's like a million ways to do this- just draw a big X on the ground and
drop a piano on his head, or paint a fake tunnel on a cliff wall and watch him run into
it Wile E Coyote style.
Seriously, this guy's a few star systems short of a galaxy if you know what we mean.
So we suppose the most obvious way is to use the Baby Yoda against him.
Mando will probably totally forget that he left the real Baby Yoda behind somewhere safe-
probably with a complete stranger, because again, not the brightest bulb in the shed-
and so all you have to do is lure him using a Baby Yoda doll that sorta looks like the
real thing.
You'll have a pretty easy time finding one to buy too, because Disney is making sure
that every store in the universe sells them.
Those guys are not about to lose out on the merchandising opportunity of the decade- we
haven't even made contact with alien life yet in the real world, but we guarantee you
even they are getting Baby Yoda merchandise to buy from Disney.
So just stuff that Baby Yoda doll with C-4 explosives and have it rigged to blow the
moment it gets picked up.
All that'll be left of Mando is all the bits and pieces protected by Beskar, so basically
his torso, his head, and his shoulders.
Now we know what you're thinking, no way Mando would fall for something so obvious.
Oh, really?
You think so huh?
Guess you forgot the episode where Mando took off into the desert alone with another Bounty
Hunter while he himself was the Universe's top bounty.
And who did he go to help this bounty hunter bring in?
Only one of the deadliest special forces operatives in the entire galaxy- whom you know, it never
even once crossed his mind could be in cahoots with the bounty hunter to bring his head in
for the reward.
So yeah, like we said, Mando?
Not exactly a tactical genius.
Or maybe Disney's writers just phoned in this entire TV show because they know most Star
Wars fans are too rabid to care about another terrible addition to the Star Wars universe.
And that's why you should stick to the books.
Since we know you loved this video why don't you go ahead and warp speed to this next video
here, or maybe you'd rather check out this other one instead?