- Hey guys, it's Amanda,
welcome back to my channel.
How are you doing?
I hope you're doing well.
Yes, I'm going to be taking a break
from YouTube for three-ish weeks.
And I just wanted to give a little quick update.
This is not going to be a sad video
like the last time I took a break
I just wanted to kind of chat with you guys,
give you guys some updates.
If you're just here for the hard info about my break
I will be taking a break
starting from this video for about three weeks.
That does mean that I'm not gonna be posting
my February Plan With Me video like normal.
But the good thing is I will be streaming it live on Twitch.
It's gonna be super chill, probably a very simple setup.
So I decided instead of not posting anything
related to my February Bullet Journal at all,
which is what I did during the last break,
I'll just stream it live and it'll be super chill
and fun to hang out with you guys.
So if you wanna tune in whenever I set up
my February Bullet Journal set up,
whenever I set up my February Bullet Journal,
then all of the info we'll be here to tune in.
You don't need a Twitch account
or the app to watch, just go to the URL,
it's a pretty chill time.
Is there any more information I need to pass on?
I wanted to give all the big updates at the beginning
just in case there's anybody who doesn't wanna sit through
me chatting because we all know I talk a lot.
So I'll probably end up talking your ear off
for a little bit after this.
But I think that's pretty much it.
I will be streaming a little bit,
like a couple of days here and there throughout my break.
So if you just wanna hang out with me
and see how I've been doing during the break
you can tune in there.
Yeah, I will be back before you know it, better than ever.
And that's kind of it for the main update.
But now I'm just gonna talk a little bit
about how I've been feeling,
why I think I needed this break,
and also updates since my last extended break last year.
So first of all, if you've just joined me
on this channel recently then you might not know this,
but I did take a month long YouTube break earlier
in 2020 before the pandemic happened, all of that.
And there was a lot of reasons why,
I'll link the video if you really wanna watch it.
It was a very sad video,
sometimes I go back and watch a few clips
and I just, I can't even make it through
because it hurts me to see myself in that position,
and I remember how I felt when I was filming that.
Do not worry, I am definitely not feeling the same way
as that video now.
It's kind of crazy how different I feel,
and how much I've developed as a person since then.
So first things first, I don't want anyone to worry
because that video was when I was probably
in one of my darkest places,
and that break was super, super necessary for me to take.
And I think I mentioned this in the video
but that break was almost reparative.
Whereas this one, I think is more of, oh, sirens.
(sirens wailing)
This is living in downtown Toronto, everyone.
Whereas this break I think is a bit more proactive.
I'm seeing the signs show up a little bit preemptively
of getting into that same mindset,
but I'm not quite there yet
so I just want to be safe, and take care of myself,
and take a few weeks off, which I think will be really nice.
I don't think this break will come as a surprise
to any of you guys if you've been watching my recent videos,
or if you've tuned in to any of my Twitch streams,
'cause I've been talking about it for awhile
and I've talked about how my goal this year
is to learn how to be okay with taking risks
and to be nicer to myself.
So I kind of booked in this break time,
this vacation time months ago.
I knew that I was going to be taking off
which means I didn't take on any new work projects,
I booked it off in my calendar.
And I think that's kind of what I'm gonna do moving forward
is to really, really plan in my vacation time.
I had this vacation time planned and booked in
since before December, because December honestly is always,
always, always one of the hardest months for me work-wise
and especially within the past year or so.
Because not only do I have the big end of the year videos
with the 2021 setup, coincided with the Flip Through,
with the January Plan With Me,
with all of the AmandaClaus Christmas stuff and giveaways.
But on top of that recently of course
we've been launching the Doodle Planner
near the end of the year.
So all of that has been always piled up
in the same time period which definitely
leads to exhaustion and burnout.
So I knew during December that I was going to need
some sort of extended break at the end
of the large work period,
so that's why I booked this time off.
And it kind of works out really well
so I did just wanna say thank you guys,
because a lot of you guys actually inspired me
to take this break, and to be nicer to myself,
especially after that break video came out last year.
It's actually a full year since I filmed that
and since I took the month off of from 2020.
But yeah, the comments on that were so lovely and so nice.
And honestly that break, I don't wanna make it seem
like it was the answer to my problems
because there was definitely a more deep seeded issue
in terms of mental health there.
But taking that extended time off was definitely a big step
in healing for me, and discovering who I am as a person.
Me for real me like Amanda, not just AmandaRachLee.
So it was kind of a life-changing period of time,
and it really changed the way I think about work I think.
Especially this past year with the pandemic and everything.
I've been okay, I think I feel a lot more grounded
than I was during that time.
Since then I've been to therapy,
I have really discovered myself
and I think I know myself
and I can see the signs of when I get to that place,
which is why I'm taking this break.
So yeah, not that I need to explain why I'm taking a break
but a lot of you guys have found comfort
whenever I talk about this type of stuff.
So I did just want to chat a little bit about it.
If I'm kind of using this video as a year later check-in
from that break video, then there's a very big difference.
I can feel it in myself, and I'm curious.
I mean, maybe you guys can't see it in the videos
but I do feel like I give off maybe a different energy,
or at least I feel it, which is the most important part.
Especially if you watch my Twitch streams.
I hope that it comes off as me being happier.
One of the big topics that I talked about
in that last video was the hate comments getting to me.
And I've really, really, really, really learned
how to deal with those a lot better.
It's more so I've had to train myself,
do certain things in order to avoid that.
So I don't really check DMs as often,
I don't really check comments as often as I used to.
And there's been a lot of training and untraining
in my mind, 'cause for the longest time I've been
so like work, work, work, work, work,
I need to be working all the time.
And my self value was really tied with how productive I was,
or how successful, or how hardworking I was.
I'm still in the process of untraining myself
from that thinking, and really making sure that
I value myself outside of that.
So it's been a really interesting year.
I think I've discovered a lot
of new things that make me happy.
One of which is actually streaming,
I've really enjoyed that side of content creating
and it's a lot less pressure on me
than these YouTube videos.
So that's also why I've decided
to stream my February Plan With Me.
Last year in the break I actually posted my February setup
after the break, but this year streaming
is actually really chill and fun for me,
and I like hanging out with you guys.
I enjoy it, and that's kind of like my favorite part
of content creation is the community aspect.
So I guess that's why I've really honed in on streaming
and I've been enjoying it so so much.
What my plans are for this break
is to honestly, to do a lot of nothing.
(Rachel laughing)
I will also be taking this time
to maybe figure out what I wanna do
with my channel for the following years.
Maybe just think about it,
not even like working on it,
more so just thinking about it,
maybe try to find an assistant
which was another one of my goals.
And I also just kinda wanna clean up my apartment.
That's my goal this year,
because in the past year when I've been working so, so hard
sometimes I let the basic things like cleanliness
of my apartment go by the bayside,
is that the saying?
Go by the side.
What am I saying?
There's just been a lot of clutter piling up
and I feel like that's also like clutter in my mind.
So I personally find joy in cleaning and decluttering
so I'm very excited to like Marie Kondo my apartment,
so that's what I'm gonna do.
I don't really know if there's that much else to say.
I don't want this video to be sad.
I'm very glad that I'm not crying in this video
like the last one.
So I just wanted it to be a very chill update,
normalize taking breaks, actually,
no matter what your job is, I think it's really important
but I can only speak to my current job,
which is being an artist, small business owner,
content creator, whatever I am.
But it was kind of crazy to see how many
of my fellow YouTuber friends reached out to me
after I had posted that video last year
and saying that they were going through similar things.
If any of you guys are watching this please take a break.
I encouraged so many of my YouTuber friends
to take breaks after it, like extended real breaks,
because a lot of times they're not real breaks
and you're just kind of still catching up on work.
I know so many creators
experiencing burnout and overworking.
Funnily enough, this break will also coincide
with my eight year YouTube anniversary.
Last year it was my seventh year during the break.
So yeah, eight years on YouTube which is so wild.
It is kind of weird that I'm not spending
my YouTube of anniversary on YouTube.
But if anything, it's kinda like a nice little celebration,
like yeah I did it, eight years.
Let me take some time off.
I'm 22 now, for those of you who don't know.
A lot of people think I'm either older or younger than I am,
but yeah, I'm 22 years old.
So eight years is almost half of my life.
And even when I wasn't a YouTube creator
I was a YouTube consumer,
so YouTube has just been such a large part of my life.
And I'm so, so grateful because it's brought me people,
and things, and opportunities,
and experiences that I never would've had otherwise.
But of course, along with that
comes very specific struggles.
Every person, and every job, and career
comes with its own struggles.
And the nature of the job doesn't devalidate
the struggles that it comes with if that makes sense.
So that's something that I've had to learn to accept
and learn how to navigate, especially at a young age.
Because when I first started
there were of course some YouTubers
who were doing things before me,
but definitely it's not like anyone was teaching me
these things about this job,
so I kind of had to learn myself.
The channel has come a long way, so have I,
and it's been a cool journey to grow together with you guys.
And the good thing about me starting YouTube so young
is that I literally have my younger self captured on screen.
And when I go back and watch those videos
I can see how different of a person I was back then,
and I can see how much I've grown, and the whole process.
So it is kinda special
that I have all these memories with you guys.
That was a really random tangent.
(Rachel laughing)
Anyway, super chill video, super chill update video.
Once again, if you're looking
for a wrap-up of what's happening
I'm gonna be taking three weeks,
I guess it'll look maybe more like four weeks
to you guys because I'm gonna be taking
like two and a half to three weeks off
and then it'll probably take me around a week
to finish a video and upload it again.
In the meantime, I will be streaming
my February Plan With Me live on Twitch
on this date and time.
So you can tune in there if you wanna see,
it's gonna be a very chill setup,
and it's mostly just to catch up with you guys.
And I'll stream a few times
here and there during the break as well.
I'll just be kind of doing my thing
in Toronto lock down in my apartment.
Thank you guys in advance for understanding,
and for always supporting me.
I already know the comment section
is gonna be so positive, which is my favorite part
about our little Doodle Community
is that I'm really not scared of doing this
and saying all of this to you guys, or taking a break.
Especially after that last video,
it just really showed me that I always do have people
who support me as a human being and that means a lot.
So thank you guys.
I will look forward to coming back with a fresh mind,
new content, all of the fun things and of course,
hanging out with you guys more.
I hope you guys are doing well.
Please take care of yourselves.
Please take breaks, and keep doodling.
Bye guys.
(chill music)