"Cyberbully" is the first movie I've ever rated DUMB/10.
And this is a really dumb movie, but somehow people manage to take it seriously.
Every mention of criticism is immediately bombarded by comments of twelve years olds going:
"Aaaaaah! If you don't like this movie, that means you support bullying!
It's a real problem and when people make movies about real problems you're supposed to like it, otherwise you're a bad person!"
The beauty about the Internet is that you can control what you watch, you can control what you post.
If you don't like what I'm saying you can just block me. And this is something that the writers did not understand.
They had to create a fake website in order for this plot to make sense. Sure, people get bullied on Facebook,
but this one is pretending as if the people are anonymous. It's like they mixed Facebook with 4chan.
[Clip] Oh my god.
If you think rules one and two are anything more than a "Fight Club" reference applicable during raids, then you're retarted.
The movie starts starts out with a crap soundtrack and right away, they're blatantly pushing the film's message in your face.
[clip] - Who are you calling a brat? - Private!
Well, what you do online isn't exactly private. [YMS] Yeah, that's subtle.
The main characters drive to school and they fit in as many quick sentences as possible, using the "Tell-don't-show" rule.
"It's my birthday and my dad moved out three months ago and there's this website that everyone's using called Clicksters."
They start making fun of other people. [clip] You basically called her a slut.
[YMS] And then they get made fun of. [clip] My brother wears shoes like that. He's ten.
[YMS] That's karma, bitch!
These characters are so bitchy and overprivileged, I don't know how I'm supposed to feel sympathetic towards them.
[clip] Her mom is so backwards. She can't even have Internet on her phone.
Ah! How does she live?
[YMS] Oh yeah, in case you forgot, it's her birthday. [clip] Happy birthday, Taylor.
- Happy birthday. - Thanks.
- Today's my dad's birthday too. - Cool.
[YMS] This guy knows exactly what to say to the ladies. Oh, and in case you forgot about another thing, her dad left, remember.
[clip] Okay, remember it was your dad that left you guys for a 25 year old girl. If that doesn't tell you how scummy guys are.
Hey, leave my dad out of it, okay?
[YMS] Yay! She gets a laptop for her birthday! What could go wrong?
[crying]
[YMS] Her mother then precedes to start lecturing her about the dangers of the Internet.
[clip] Destroy. Die. Attack. Rants from a gang of computer hackers calling themselves anonymous.
They attack innocent people like an Internet hate machine.
The pranks are often anti semitic or racist, and always posted on the Internet.
Businessman Darren Meade says a competitor hired a professional troll to defame him online.
Going by the name Boxxy, this blogger became queen of the trolls.
[YMS] The Internet is a scary place and the moral of this story is that we should legislate it.
There are too many stupid people out there that are easy trollbait, but you gotta protect them, right?
I mean, if someone tells you that your credit card info work filters to access, then it's not your fault if you believe it, right?
If someone tells you that deleting system 32 will make your computer faster, it's not your fault that you didn't Google it, right?
You know why they have those ads that say you can win a free random current Apple product?
Because people actually fucking click on them.
It's really easy to get taken advantage of by people that are smarter than you.
So if you're not very smart, don't go on the Internet. It's only safe.
[clip] Let me read you something that was posted on our message boards,
from someone who claims to be a member of a known pedophile network. It said this:
He doesn't forgive, he does not forget. His group has over 9000 penisses and they're all raping children.
[YMS] Oh shit! I almost forgot, her dad left.
[clip] - Do you know if you if your father called Taylor today? - Don't think so.
Well, she told him she didn't want to speak to him ever again, so...
She precedes to make her Clicksters account, which is something that her mom didn't want her to do on the family computer.
And when filling in her bio, she just lies. Her friends help her decide the answers based on how much male attention she'll get.
Man, I wish I had an Xbox computer! All I'm stuck with is this stupid Sony Vaio.
I feel like movies like this just perpetuate the idea that women don't know how to use computers.
I mean, to these girls, it's just a 2000 dollar Facebook machine. I mean Clicksters.
Does anyone remember that really bad webshow called "Inside"?
The chick is trapped in a room with a laptop connected to the Internet and instead of contacting the police, she just uses it as a flashlight.
Anyway, she gets a phone call, saying that she got a comment... on Clicksters.
[clip] - Lindsay commented on our photo. - Oh, Lindsay!
[YMS] Hey! She's got an Xbox computer too!
They get insulted on the Internet and they just laugh it off and don't pay attention to it. Like normal people.
[clip] So, I saw you're on Clicksters now. I like it better than Facebook. A lot more raw, you know?
Yeah, I noticed.
[YMS] The Internet has brainwashed these teenagers to the point where that's all they talk about when they're not on it.
If only this wasn't accurate. She gets into the chatroom and realises that the Internet turns people into amoral trolls.
Wow, Babicakes! You so crazy!
[clip] - What? - Is that Clicksters?
- Can you make me an account? - No!
- Please, just don't -- Why? - No, Eric. No, get out of my room, you little worm! Go!
[YMS] Remember, she's a victim.
She gets hit on by that guy she likes.
[clip] Uhm, I do think you need a few more pictures. Maybe a bikini shot or something.
[YMS] All thanks to Clicksters! And then the Internet starts consuming her life.
[clip] - Wait, hang on. Don't turn. Drop me off first. - Why? We always to go the mall on Friday.
- I wanna go home and see if Scott goes online. - It's not love!
Well, then what is? Sleeping with a guy the second time you guys go out and then wondering why he never talks to you again?
- Get out. - What?
- You can't be serious. - Out.
[YMS] There was no way I could edit that music out. I'm sorry, you had to listen to it. Startin' some real drama! Later at home:
[clip] It was totally worth it. Scott talked to me for, like, half an hour.
[YMS] All of the sudden, she gets a friend request from some randy and then "Awh, he likes my poem!"
[clip] So he has a brain. [YMS] That means he's smart.
Oh yeah, just in case you forgot, yet again:
[clip] - Dad's in California. - You talked to him?
- Yeah, he called me. - Maybe he called me.
[YMS] Why would he call you when you told him you never want to speak to him again?
"Just because I say something doesn't mean I actually mean it."
[grunts]
[clip] What is it?
Look, someone figured out my password and they hacked my profile!
Can everyone just please just stop calling it hacking when someone guesses your password?
Logging into a fake Facebook site and giving them your password also isn't hacking. You're just stupid.
[clip] - Look what they wrote, look at the status! - "I'm a naughty bad girl, someone should spank me."
Well, someone has a sick sense of humor, you gotta change this, you gotta change your password. No one should look at this.
[YMS] Did Susan Porterson steal Babicakes' profile picture, or is it the same person?
Now her life is ruined. I thought you wanted male attention.
[clip] Taylor, I've looked around this website, it's completely inappropriate for someone your age. There are no boundaries.
- You need to shut down your profi-- - Come on!
Look at you! You're in tears after one day! [YMS] Listen to your mother. You clearly can't handle the Internet.
"I'm gonna respond to that one with a well thought out rebuttal."
[clip] Me and my friend Cooper were the ones that changed the status on your profile.
- Look, you used the old cat's name for your password. - I'm gonna kill you!
[YMS] Are you still gonna call it hacking?
[clip] I looked to see if you took down your profile. - Okay, I never said I'd do that.
Well, on your page, you posted a comment and called someone a bitch.
Wow! Now you're spying on me?
Taylor, when you put something online, it's no longer private. Everyone can see it.
[YMS] Does this website not have privacy settings or is she just really dumb?
[clip] How many guys did you hook up with this weekend? Ten? Twenty?
You should have a drive-through! [laugh laugh laugh laugh]
I don't know why they have to do that. It sucks.
- How would you know? - You serious?
- You've been called a slut and a whore? Really? - I guess you've never been on my page.
- There's fairy, fruit, homo. Too gay to lift. - Yeah, but I mean, it's not really the same thing.
I mean... You really are gay. What they're saying about me isn't true.
[YMS] This is who you're supposed to feel sympathy for.
[clip] You gonna take your profile down?
- Are you saying I have no choice? - No, I'm saying I'm trusting you to make the right choice.
You know, I wish you wouldn't fake-trust me. I wish you would just actually do it.
[YMS] Just block people already. Make your wall private or something, fuck!
- Oh, sorry. - Sorry.
- I was just going to get ketchup. - Oh, me too!
Yeah, I heard somebody hacked your profile. It happened to me once.
[YMS] Stop calling it hacking! Anyway, he asks her to the dance, yaaay!
[clip] Guess what? Guess what? Guess what? Get out of the car! Get out of the car!
- Your father called? - Uh, no.
[YMS] She gets her laptop back for all but two seconds and Randy's already plastered her profile with hateful things.
[Kung Pow enter the fist - weuweuw]
[Subtitles by Abel Boeschoten]