Thanks for coming.
Oh, thanks for having me.
Yeah, very cool to meet you.
First there's a lot to talk about.
First of all, golf has become such a big sport
in the last 10 years, it has been so huge.
Your approach to the game is completely opposite,
any other professional golfer's approach it seems to me,
and completely different as an athlete,
you're completely different from most athletes.
You hate exercise.
Oh yeah.
You despise health food, you smoke, you drink,
and it works for you, is that right?
If we had carts, I'd use them too, man.
I'll tell you what, we could use them but,
I don't know, I love my life.
Yeah, yeah.
Well, I can see why.
(audience laughs)
You've said that working,
you think that if you worked out,
it would hurt your golf game.
Now most other golfers now,
it's almost a scientific approach,
they're working out every single muscle group.
You've said you don't want to do that,
it would be bad for your game. Why?
Well, I figured I'm not going to run
because we walk seven miles a day,
so the running is out.
But I think a lot of times the guys
are getting too bulky in here, you know?
Which you don't have that problem, so.
(audience laughter)
Which is good, you could be a good golfer.
I've done it intentionally for my golf game.
Exactly!
I want that flexibility, which is why I, yeah.
There's no muscle groups in here, I've had them removed.
I carry this in case it gets windy,
it's not going to blow me over, so.
It gave you some ballast.
So you refuse to work out.
Now, as I said, golf has become such a scientific game,
people are isolating, they're watching, you know,
slow downed footage of their swing.
They're hiring special gurus and coaches to analyze
sort of every particle of their game.
You have a simple motto.
This is a quote,
"I just hit it as hard as I can,
and if I can find it, I hit it again."
(audience laughs and applauds)
In simple terms, I just grip it and rip it, basically.
Grip it and rip it.
And, it really does just go, and are you,
when you hit it well,
are you as surprised as anybody?
I mean do you do get in a zone first,
do you just hit this ball as hard as you can
and then okay, let's go see if I can find it?
Depends how hung over I am.
I let my caddy look for that.
Okay, your caddy. All right.
Well, let's talk about,
(laughs)
let's talk about some things
your past sponsors, you know, we know that there
everyone's trying to get Nike or Adidas or, you know,
some sponsor like that.
Your past sponsors have been a little unusual.
Dunkin Donuts.
(audience laughs)
One day.
One day? You were sponsored one day for Dunkin Donuts?
Battle of the bridges.
What had been this 0 4 had been, 0 4.
I was playing with Tiger,
Hank, Kenny and Phil Mickelson.
[Conan] Okay.
It's funny, we get done and after you get done,
we got our butts beat but I was playing with Phil
and Hank and Tiger beat him.
We get in there, there's a big tent where we got to talk
to the sponsors and all that.
There's about 2000 people.
Tiger gets up and he says, "Yeah, that's really cool, JD.
Dunkin donuts and Trimspa."
That's right.
Trimspa was your other sponsor at the time.
Hey Tiger, you know what?
It's better than AA and Miller light.
Right, right.
(audience laughs)
So in the same day that you had Dunkin donuts
you also were promoting Trimspa at the same time.
Exactly.
And Hooters, Hooters was a sponsor.
Is that right?
Mm-hmm.
No questions there.
(laughs)
I'd wear that shirt, yeah.
You don't believe there should,
you don't like the dress code in golf
that you find that offense?
I mean, I feel like somebody's got a thumb
in my throat when I wear one of them things.
I really do.
It's called a tie.
Is that what it is?
(audience laughs)
This new fangled thing called tie.
Looks I'm over dressed again.
Yeah. Yeah.
This is nice.
I like the jewelry.
I call it my little bling bling.
Yeah.
But, you're comfortable in that,
but a tie would freak you out.
Exactly.
What about, but most golf courses require that your,
you know, that you wear a certain, you know,
standard of clothing.
Yeah and I hate it.
You hate it.
You have your own golf course that you bought.
Is there a dress code there?
If you wear a tie you're kicked out.
(audience laughs)
If you wear slacks, you're kicked out.
[Conan] Right.
Well basically all you got to do is cover
your private parts and you can play my golf.
You have a tricked out golf cart, I understand?
You know, you have a special golf cart that you have made
to your specifications.
Everybody that, you know, back here, all your people.
And they said it will outrun the Taurus that you drive.
I have a 91 Ford Taurus.
I will race your golf cart any day.
Yeah?
Yeah.
Not just the regular Ford Taurus.
The Ford Taurus SHO.
Oh beautiful.
The one that ladies go for.
(audience laughs)
How many batteries does that have?
(chuckles)
Three C batteries.
Yeah. I've got 8.
It'll do about 50 miles an hour.
50? Your golf cart will go 50 miles an hour?
It's called a humdinger.
A humdinger.
Yeah.
All right. So it's got a giant, it must be all engine
this thing.
It's got eight batteries and it pretty much is, yeah.
Do you ever go 50 miles an hour on the golf course?
Oh yeah, it's fun.
(audience laughs)
Like I said, I like to promote, you know, fast play.
Right, right.
So you just move it right along.
You don't even get out of the thing.
You just it's like-
It's Polo as far as you're concerned.
(audience laughs)
Wham! I'm coming through! Yeehaw!
(laughs)