It's to maybe help someone out there that has gone through similar situations
as I have if I could just reach one child out there that felt the way I did growing up and make them feel a
Little better, that would make me extremely happy
But shuggr draw my life, you aren't done living yet! Shhh!
It's true that I'm in my early 20s, but this life is so different from how I'm living right now.
I can't even recognize who this even is with all good endings. There is a journey.
This was mine.
I don't know about you
But I can't remember much from being a kid too many times sitting in front of the TV watching
Spongebob or dragon tales is probably the culprit
I do remember one time almost swallowing a quarter while I was watching TV
So I guess that counts. One thing I knew for sure was that I was a really happy
Kid that was going to change really fast. I'm very curious what your first memory as a kid was because the one I vividly remember
Involved spike balls or at least that's what we called them
I did some research and apparently they are the fruit produced by the sweet gum tree. It looks oddly similar to the maple tree
But that's false advertising. If you think that stepping on a lego is torture
Then you've never fallen in a pile of these little jerk wads.
I must have been four years old when I was hanging around a few girls
I think they were my neighbors or something, but I think we were friends
One of them in the group had this amazing idea of throwing these abominations at my older brother
That's when my psyche came into my body immediately. I was like, I don't think that's a good idea.
Why?
Yeah, why it would be so funny. Uh, I mean, I wouldn't want people doing that at me. So...
You're just wussing out. We won't be friends if you don't do it!
I can't believe I was already being peer pressured at such a young age, but I did it anyway...
(SMACK!)
*screams*
Yeah, that was that was really stupid. This incident made me see the effects of peer pressure
I learned to trust in my instincts rather than to be a follower. Kids
Listen, if someone is pressuring you to do something you feel is wrong, don't go through with it. From this encounter
I realized that I was different from other kids. I was able to gauge other people's feelings think ahead and adapt
However, adapting comes with its issues and I'd start to see them well enough I was looking for real friends
That was extremely hard when people in California had the attitude of what's in it for me
Um, I don't know an actual friend
Even though these people went out of their way to keep me out of their inner circle. They made sure not to leave me alone
Every single interaction with either kids at school or church was painful
They never had anything good to say you have too many siblings. Your mom should learn to shut her legs
Hey, where are you going a funeral?
You smile too much. Stop being so happy. Oh, look at the girl who has to wear donated clothing
I'm glad to see you're putting my rejects to use. I
Swear, they'd even make a snide remark. If I so much as breathed. I must not be pretty enough. Yeah, that's it
If I keep brushing my hair, I'll be prettier.
Look at this weirdo brushing her hair
Stop looking at me. Stop seeing me. Stop pointing out everything about me. 12 years of the same treatment. 12
Years. The only reason I put up with it was because I tricked myself into the idea that one day they'll be nicer
They'll be more mature. I'm sure one
single day, it'll happen.
I put way too much faith in them. Each year the church does a thing called girls camp
There was a new girl that just moved into the ward and she was 12 just like me. This was my chance
She was a part of any cliques yet, and she doesn't know that I'm the target of everyone's aggression
We all went to camp on the first night, a leader asked her to gather some supplies from the cabin.
I jumped up and offered to go with her to help. This was my chance! I was going to start talking to her
This is what girls do right they always go to the bathroom and groups
This is this is not different this the same thing we get up to the cabin and she abruptly stops
She turns to face me. Would you stop following me around?
We are never going to be friends.
I was trying to help. I don't need your help
Oh
You just love sitting alone, don't you?
One thing I learned as a kid is that
Adults aren't any better than children in many ways, they're worse!
They live on their own planet mentally. On one camp trip
I told one of the moms that her son was bullying my brother and she just brushed it off as
Well boys will be boys. He was just playing no wonder their kids acted the way they did
they didn't exactly have any good examples to follow.
I never went to adults when anyone bullied me because they would bully me as well
Sometimes the adults would come over and ask me how my weekend was. Wait, someone actually cares
Oh, this is this is kind of cool. Well, so over the weekend me, my family and I so besties
How are you doing? Don't ask if you just want to ignore me!!!
I just learned to keep my mouth shut after 12 years of the same situations
I lost all trusts in adults and kids. To me, everyone was the same
I still kept hope though, as long as I could have just one friend, I would be okay.
I know I talked about seminary in my terrible teachers video, but there was one more story from there I'd like to share
There was a girl in that class that was a little bad at social cues
She was scrutinized by the other kids in the class. I figured she knew what it was like to get bullied by others
so I thought it would be really cool if we could keep each other company we shared secrets with each other talked about crushes and
Cared for each other or at least I thought we did
Her birthday was coming up and she asked me to help her plan for it and together
We came up with a sweet plan for her sweet 16. Came to seminary with a pile of an invitations
She asked me to help hand them out. So I did.
Invitations for everyone in the class and some for the older classes in the same building
Her crush was one of the older boys all the invitations were gone
Hey, uhh..
I'm invited as well, right?
*laughs like it wasn't a big deal*
What? Why would you have an invitation/ Only cool people are invited; you're not cool enough to come
I remember I just stood there watching her smile and walking out the door..
Stay tuned for Part Two: A Salty Flight!
hohohooooo this is gonna be epic >:D