- So on a coaching call recently,
a woman asked me, she said,
"Mat, I'm dating these two guys."
"How do I get one of them to see me as the one and only?"
So, how do you get someone to see you as the one and only?
That's exactly what we're gonna be talking about today.
Check it out.
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Hey there, my name is Mat Boggs,
and I'm the founder of the Love and Relationship division
of the Brave Thinking Institute,
where our mission is empowering people
to create and live a life they love,
and that includes your love life.
So if you like this video,
I encourage you to click that subscribe button,
click the little bell, because every week
we bring you videos to empower you in your love life.
And today we're talking about, how do you help someone
see you as the one and only for them?
Well, think about how you feel
when you believe you've met the one and only.
How do you feel inside?
Your heart bursts with love for this person.
You feel compelled to be with this person.
You're thinking about them all the time.
You get excited at the possibility of spending
time together, and you feel like they are just so different
from everybody else that you've met.
Right, like, this person is unique, this person is special.
So think about what makes this person special, right.
This person, isn't just one in a million,
this person is literally one in seven billion.
The only person like them on the entire planet,
and they're with you.
How have you come to really know just how special they are?
That's the key
in letting someone see you as the one and only.
Is you've got to let them see you
as the one and only version of you.
It's really tempting and easy on dates
to try to put your best foot forward,
to try to only show the parts of yourself
that you think the other person aligns with,
that you think the other person will like.
And so often I see people watering themselves down on a date
to try to make sure that they don't offend the other person,
they don't turn the other person off
and that they show the parts of themselves
that that other person will approve of.
That is a recipe for homogeny.
That is a recipe for mediocrity,
for looking like everybody else.
What makes you special is also what makes you unique.
It's your unique take on things, it's your preferences,
it's your likes, it's yours dislikes.
It's the things that you are turned on in life about,
and what turns you off.
If you don't share all of who you are on a date,
your realness, then the guy doesn't get that chance
to really see who you are.
So the bottom line is, if you want him
to see you as the one and only,
then you've got to be willing to be
the one and only version of you that there is,
which means let him really see you, and that can be scary.
Letting people see the true us can be scary,
because we're opening ourselves up to rejection.
So to support you in that process,
what helps us really open ourselves up
is when we fully love and accept ourselves for who we are.
So, if you would love some support with that,
I've got a great tool for you.
It's called the Self-Love Activation Toolkit.
It comes with a meditation and affirmation practice.
I'll link it up here in the video
and in the comments for you.
Just click that link. It's a gift for me to you.
Now, remember my coaching client
was dating two guys and asking this question,
"how can I get him to see me as the one and only?"
So I asked her, I said, "So let me get this right,"
"you're dating two guys, and your question is,"
"how do you get one of them to see you as the one and only?"
"You're dating two guys,"
"how do you get him to see you as the one and only?"
And she was like, "Oh yeah."
Like, it hit her like a two-by-four across the forehead.
I was like, "Look, if you want him"
"to see you as the one and only,"
"then you've got to be willing"
"to see him as the one and only."
And this is a client I've been working with for a while,
so I know that she's got a challenge with commitment.
She's got a challenge with really letting herself open,
opening her heart and allowing a guy in
and really committing, that's why she's dating
two different guys right now.
And so, she was like, "Wow, if I want him to commit,"
"if I want him to see me as the one and only"
"then I've got to match his energy."
And I said, "That's exactly right."
"You've got to be willing to"
"open your heart and let him in."
"So, what does it take for you"
"to see one of them as the one and only?
What would it take for you to really open your heart
and see somebody as the one and only?
That's half the equation of falling in love.
It's not all on the other person
and just who they are and their qualities,
half of the equation is in our own degree of openness.
So, my question for you is,
what does it take you to really open your heart
and fall in love with somebody?
What state of mind, what state of heart,
can you be in that really facilitates that process?
Go ahead and post that in the comment section below,
and know this, as you do, as you lean forward,
you open your heart and you really see somebody else
for the potential, the possibility that they are,
and you let yourself be seen
for the uniqueness that you are.
That's when love magnetizes into your life,
and I see this for you.
I appreciate you. Thanks for watching.
I'll see you soon.
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