What does bleach do to meat?
Let's talk about that.
( music playing )
Good mythical morning.
Today, Mike and Alex get coated in peanut butter
and mauled by a pack of pugs,
and we also bring back the random commercial challenge.
Yes, but first, as you may know,
we have a shelf that we like to leave things on.
- We call it... -
( dramatic movie music plays )
Yeah. Now, in the past
we've left stuff out in the open air,
and we've left stuff in Coke.
- Yes. - But for this latest installment,
we've installed stuff in bleach.
Yes, now, we're gonna see
if we can guess what bleach does to stuff after a month.
It's time for...
( woman screams )
Okay, here's how this is going to work.
We will be presented with an item
that has been left in bleach
on our shelf,
but we have not seen it.
We are not privy to the results.
We're going to be presented with two options
of what may have happened to it.
We have to work together in order to--
As a team.
...in order to agree
on what we think happened
to the thing in bleach.
Then we-- It's revealed to us
and we dissect it, basically,
- analyze it-- - Inspect it.
...inspect it,
and see if we're right or wrong.
If we don't get three correct--
this is a big deal--
we have to drink donkey sauce,
which, of course,
is the sauce made by the man
who made bleach very famous-- Guy Fieri.
Oh. Thanks for clearing that up.
Let's get started.
-
Yeah, there's some wine on here,
but the ones under that
have been there for a month, soaking in bleach.
In a big jar of bleach.
Okay, here's what we're trying to find out.
Did these stained jeans A,
flake apart like my chin skin
when I don't use my beard oil,
or B, become lighter like Link's hair.
What? What? That hasn't happened.
No, it's not happening.
Um...
I don't think that--
First of all, I don't think the wine
is removed just by bl-- I guess it is.
Well, I think it's...
Then it turns white.
With either choice,
the wine is not a-- not even a part of the discussion.
Yeah, there's-- there's no way
that bleach, even for a month,
that can make jeans flake apart. There's no way.
They're not flaking apart, but I can definitely believe
that the pigment has escaped them.
That's the whole point of jeans,
is that you can't flake-- they're "unflakable."
- You cannot flake this. - So we think they became lighter.
- Yeah. - Let's find out.
- Yep! - Absolutely.
- They became lighter. - Let's pop off the top here.
Oh, gosh.
- Okay, yes, here we go. - And then do we have tongs?
- I don't have tongs in my-- - Here, I 'll set it down.
Let's do it here to minimize drippage.
Oh, gosh.
Oh, I don't wanna.
Be slow.
Thar she blows!
With a bleached hump like a wad of jeans.
Oh, gosh.
Throw her down.
Okay, um...
Man-- Oh, look at this.
If you...
Hey, those are cool now.
- Look it-- - Oh, look what it did on the rear.
Show the rear.
Well, the front's kind of sp--
Oh, there's a giraffe on the front.
You see the giraffe?
- And a butterfly. - And a butterfly
and a plane and a pigeon!
That's a frickin' pigeon.
No, that's a giraffe.
Oh, a giraffe? I see a pigeon.
Show them the--
That's definitely a butterfly.
Now, show them the back.
Some sort of exotic...
The back is a boogeyman.
What is that?
That is the boogeyman.
And boogeyman turning into a bat.
It's a four-legged creature
walking across... buttocks.
I think it's a vampire that has just turned into a bat.
Either way, Link, we were right.
-
but what does it look like after it's been in bleach for a month?
The options given to us are...
A, has it lost its face, like Nicholas Cage
when he want to steal John Travolta's life?
- That was a great-- - A "Face/Off" joke never gets old.
Never.
Or did it turn pink, like me when I farted on camera?
Did I turn pink?
What about Rhett when he farted on camera?
Yeah, we both farted on camera. Who's gonna fart next?
First of all, I would've predicted that nothing would've happened
to the quarter in bleach after a month.
Well, but the thing is--
But lose its entire face?
Money is not--
They're not-- it's not made out of high-quality stuff, man.
That's just a myth.
They make this stuff as cheaply as they possibly can.
That's ironic.
Because it's just to--
It just represents...
- Do you think it's-- - ...value.
Do you think it lost its face?
- No, I think it's turned pink. - I-- It's turned pink.
We agree. Let's listen.
"Let's listen"?
It didn't tell me anything.
Let's look.
Still don't know anything.
- Oh, gosh. - Oh, my goodness.
Look how dark the frickin' bleach is.
But we're gonna have to pull it out, Link.
On this...
I think it may have lost its face, man.
- You just wanna-- - Can I--
You wanna tong to tong, tong, tong?
- Can you get it? - It's disintegrated entirely.
♪ Here's a quarter ♪
♪ Call someone who cares ♪
Here it is. I got it.
Travis, the invitation's still open.
It turned pink.
What the crud?
- Well, it's-- - And reddish.
That's like some sort of corrosion that happened.
Yeah, it's getting into the--
'cause all-- they're all just made from...
leftover strawberry parts. I'm telling you.
If I were to turn it around...
It's not worth anything, guys.
It's all-- The whole monetary system
- is just an illusion... - Get a shot of that side?
...based on consumer confidence.
There's a black part, too.
What is that? Oh, it rubs off.
Did the whole-- Does the pink rub off?
- Bite it. - There's lots of pink.
- Bite it. - Lick it.
- No. - Sniff it.
- Once again, we were right. - Um, but the fa--
the face is starting to disappear,
but it's much more pink, but it is c-- it is--
It smoothed out the face dramatically,
so I think it could've lost its face--
Well, you're looking at the eagle side. That's the problem.
- That's not the face. - Oh, there's not a face.
Ha-ha, you thought the eagle was the face.
- No, I didn't. - That's the problem.
It was shallower than I thought.
Okay, we were right, though, pink.
-
did roses A, lose their color,
like my house after I used that cheap knockoff Sharwin-Wayans paint.
- You know. - So Sher-- Sherman-Williams?
- Long lost-- - Good work, guys.
it's also a Wayans Brother joke.
- Oh. - Uh,
or be-- disintegrate like those Forever 21 swim trunks.
Cheap trunks.
Uh...
- I think that these disintegrated. - Disintegrated.
- It's an organic material. - I mean there's-- there's--
Yeah, they're so...
It doesn't-- It's not like it's a dyed material like jeans.
But there are white roses, and how are those made?
Bleach.
I'll agree. Disintegrate.
- Disintegrate. - B.
( Link gasps ) We were wrong.
White roses.
That's how you make a freakin' white rose.
My gosh, we're gonna have to stand under the bridge
and sell these on Valentine's day.
Can charge more, which means, like $300.
Look at this. This is crazy.
The part that was exposed to not bleach
is still red,
but right below that line...
- it is completely... white. - What?
A little brownish, but, yeah,
I would say that we were wrong either way.
You think we could sell those?
Yeah, definitely.
$300 a pop.
We'd be unique.
- Look at this. - At least.
- Huh, Link? - It feels like a-- flesh.
Yeah, we'll put that on the sign.
"Feels like flesh!
$300 a pop."
-
placed a raw turkey leg
in bleach for a month.
It's already white. Look at that.
- Well, that's a little pink. - I don't think that's the idea.
These are the options that are given to us, Rhett.
Did it dissolve down to the bone,
like Christian Bale
preparing for his role in "The Machinist."
- Rhett: Oh... - Or did it absorb
liquid and expand,
like Christian Bale preparing for his role
as Dick Cheney.
Guy's a chameleon.
Yeah, he is, man.
Oh, the sacrifices he makes for art.
The Dick Cheney thing is creepy.
And I bet this will be, too.
Uh, dissolved down to the bone?
Absorb liquid and expand.
I don't know if meat-- meat already has liquid in it,
so do you think it would expand?
That's what I was-- I was thinking
it would absorb more and expand.
I would think that it would take the meat off, and the meat--
- It's not going desiccate. - ...all the fat and stuff
would be at the top,
and the bone would be separated.
I think we might be in a disagreement here, Link.
You think it's dissolving, like it's-- it's--
like acid has eaten away at it.
Because I think it kind of rotted over time.
I don't know.
I just think it's going to be as big as the jar, man.
Okay, we'll go with B.
No, we'll go with you. We'll go--
- No, I mean, I think-- - We'll go--
I don't feel strongly.
I mean, I really don't feel strongly about this.
I don't...
I just don't know-- It's not very spongy,
- but it could just-- - Okay, dissolve down.
I'm gonna go. Dissolve down.
- Okay. - A.
- I can't tell if it expanded. - No, it got bigger.
I was right.
You shouldn't have made me nervous about it.
I don't-- Do we wanna open this?
- No, but we have to. - And make sure that it expanded?
- We have to. - ( together ) We have to.
We have to. We're scientists.
Bring in the tongs.
Uh, golly, man.
No, no, don't waft it.
It's gonna give all-- You get all the smell you need
when you take it out of there.
Uh, it's...
- ( grunts ) - Just grab it, man.
Is it gonna be stuck in there?
Oh, gosh.
It expanded.
I cannot--
I'm gonna have to grab it with--
- Oh, no! - ...with the gloves.
No. No, don't pull it out, Link.
-
I gotta do it!
For science.
The people need to know.
No.
- Oh! - Ah, it got on my wrist!
- Oh! - It got on the place
where I need a watch!
- Ugh. - Ew, it's brown.
Ugh, Christian Bale, look what you've done.
Maybe it's-- Maybe it's like ceviche.
Maybe we can eat it now.
Yeah, you bite-- you bite first.
( woman screaming )
Okay, now we have my personal favorite--
congealed blood, congealed pork blood.
And there's a whole slab of it here.
- It's like a brick. - Blood brick.
It's like you can make something out of that.
Okay, what are our options?
Did this turn white on the outside but stay red on the inside,
like a snowman filled with blood.
Or did it turn white all the way through
like the audience at an Ed Sheeran concert?
- Ooh... - Ooh...
I-I'm going with A right off the bat.
I meant, there's-- I don't--
I think that this is
impenetrable.
It's not porous.
So you think it just turned white on the outside, but when you--
I mean, it has-- it has what looks like some holes, but...
So when we, like-- If we cut through this thing,
you think it'll have blood on the inside
like a snowman filled with blood.
That means we're going to have to use these tools
to cut through it.
Do you agree? What do you think?
I don't know. A month is enough time
- for it to kind seep all the way out. - Permeate it?
Maybe. I don't know. I mean, it's kind of porous.
So I don't agree that it's impenetrable,
but it might still hold its color
Touch that. It is im-- Touch that.
- There's no way. - Okay. All right.
Last time we went with me, we were wrong,
so I'm going to agree with you and say that--
Turn white on the outside--
- But red. - Stay red on the inside.
It's revealed.
It's definitely white on the outside.
But we haven't learned anything yet.
Get rid of that.
Okay.
Bring in the specimen tray.
- I would put the jar-- - Oh, gosh! Oh, gosh!
Maybe put the jar on the thing first.
Yeah.
Aah!
It looks like a-- It looks like a piece of raw tuna.
( growls )
I can tell right now
Aah!
I don't smell anything over here,
and I plan to keep it that way.
- Okay. - We've got a scalpel.
I'm going in.
Oh, yes, snowman filled with blood.
- Look it-- Oh, gosh! - Aah!
It does look like tuna.
It looks like seared Ahi.
Or-- Or just like a really pleasant, unbaked brick.
It's actually pretty cool.
Kids could build things with this.
It's very pleasurable to cut it.
It's got a snap to it, like a sausage.
If you've run out of Legos, just give this to your kids.
- They'll have fun for hours. - There you go.
And it's safe to eat 'cause it's got no bacteria
'cause it's been bleached.
Hey, Link, but the good news is,
is we got three out of five,
which means we don't have to drink donkey sauce!
But we will thoroughly inspect the donkey sauce
in "Good Mythical More."
And of course
we also left Link's glasses
in bleach for a month.
- Oh. - There you go, Link.
That's where those have been.
They should be real clean and bacteria free,
Just slap them right on your face.
All right, stick around to see Mike and Alex
get licked by a bunch of pugs.
Paper towel, please?
We got some big news.
We're selling limited edition T-shirts
exclusively on Amazon.
Yes, that Amazon.
There, I said it.