Sarah Silverman, thank you very much.
We're gonna say Merry Christmas again.
Yeah, yeah!
Every single year!
Look, I'm kicking Mussolini's head.
(laughing)
I kick it here and I kick it and I kick it there.
(laughing)
That's bullshit!
Check the photographs.
(laughing)
[Conan] Check what photographs?
When they piled the bodies on the street
and people were peeing in his face and-
Yes, they're doing that,
but they didn't sever his head from his body
and then use it in soccer tournaments throughout Italy.
I, no, I didn't say- That didn't happen.
I didn't say, no.
I didn't say soccer tournaments.
But he said they'd be-,
you said they beheaded him
and kicked him from town to town, his head.
The 1946 World Cup was played-
[Conan] Yeah.
Yes. No.
No?
They didn't do that.
(man guffaws)
What they did was enough.
I mean, they really when they really went to town on him.
Did you stretch the truth?
Yeah.
He drove-
[Conan] Yeah we're gonna crash.
He drove a Ford Focus.
(woman laughs)
You know, I knew Flanagan for about 17 years
before I knew his name was Mark.
It's not, I looked it up.
It's Gertrude.
[Sarah] Oh! (claps)
(man laughs)
He's Gertrude Peter Paul Flanagan.
I looked it up.
(Sarah laughs)
I feel self-conscious about calling him, Mark.
[Flanagan] Yeah.
I don't want to.
It's Flanny.
No, don't call him Mark,
but you should know his name is Mark.
Ah, puts me in mind of a story.
I'm scolding him, you know?
You know, it's usually when I'm scolding him.
Mark! Yeah?
Don't touch that.
And Beck and I were riding camels together.
What? (Sarah laughs)
He wanted me to be in his new puppet show.
What are you talking about?
And then you find out later, it's true.
Yup.
Yeah it, that's true.
A lot of it, it's true.
He's like Zellig.
I know. When the Neil Young thing showed up,
he was like, "Oh, Neil wants me to be in his play
"to play the sea captain.
"But I can't be playing the sea captain!"
I'm like, Neil Young has a play,
and there's a sea captain in it,
and he wants you to be it?
That's fantastic!
He wrote "Harvest" on this rug.
(Conan laughs)
But the reason Bono drives a Ford Focus is,
when people see him,
they go, "Well, that can't be Bono."
[Conan] Right.
And they do.
Are you saying "Right,"
but you didn't hear what he said?
I did.
He said, "Fa-fa-fa-fa-fa-fa Bono."
He said-
No, I know.
Nobody thinks Bono is driving a Ford Focus.
Yeah, no, that was story,
is that he walked Bono to his car,
and he had a rental of a Ford Focus,
and he said, "A Ford Focus?"
And Bono goes, "Yeah, no one's gonna think
that Bono's in a Ford Focus,
so I just drive around
and people go, 'Look at that asshole-'"
That's why I drive a- Trying to look like Bono.
Bentley, 'cause no one thinks
Conan O'Brien's got the money
to buy a Bentley.
I do the same thing the other way.
One morning when I was coming into Warner brothers
and I saw it come.
I saw it before, as I was turning in like a late seventies
Ford Crown Victoria,
with an ancient man driving it,
turning into the quick, you know, like the quick pass lane
at Warner brothers.
And I was like,
Wait, can we play 20 questions?
Who it was?
Sure, sure.
And that's it.
And I look back and then I saw it was someone famous.
Is he over 75?
I believe so yes.
Actor?
Yes.
White?
Yes.
Does he have hair?
White hair?
He has Hair.
I believe it is variable colors depending on the role.
I don't know what his natural hair color.
Is he American?
Very,
Very?
You're taking too long with this.
Clint Eastwood?
Yes!
I'm sorry, but that was too long.
Should I just leave at this point?
That was so good.
You've been trying to wrap this up,
He's the only old white man
they let on the Warner brothers lot.
Yeah. All the other white men get turned away.
When he noticed, when he saw me looking
in my rear view mirror at him too
he pulled his baseball cap down.
So it's just like, Oh, now you can't see the road old man.
Yeah.
Well he had two holes punched in the brim of his cap.
(laughter)
He peered through
Oh my God.
Then he looks like a what's his name?
Mush mouth?
You don't realize that he's yeah, exactly.
Who had the holes cut in?
Clint Eastwood is 90.
Yeah.
He's a year younger than my dad.
And it's just amazing to me that he's
directing movies.
Yeah. I mean, they're all
about soft foods now, but still.
Scorsese too.
Scorsese's younger but yeah.
I know but still.
He's still probably my dad's age.
My dad couldn't direct a movie.
Can't even cross the street.
He's a loser!
(laughter)
He's got that tricycle.
That's - I can't believe there's a tricycle.
There's a good Boston accent joke my dad says:
who's the tallest president?
I don't know.
Abraham Lincoln.
No, he was shot.
(laughter)