• From falling waist deep into cow shit to having someone pee on your shoes, the Planet
Dolan crew re-enact some of the best true stories from our subreddit about the grossest
things that ever happened to you. I’m Grgak and today I’ll be your
narrator.
Number 10 was submitted by MrPokeGamer Danger Dolan
When Dolan was in kindergarten he went to the bathroom to enjoy a nice morning crap.
While he was in there another kid came in, saw Dolan’s feet under the door and decided
to enact his evil plan. He crouched down, aimed his penis under the stall and peed all
over Dolan’s shoes! Dolan stank like piss for the rest of the day.
Number 9 was submitted by CurioINC HoneyBits One day HoneyBits’ best friend invited her
to her dairy farm. She wanted to show HoneyBits the goose nest she had found near the cow
pen. This pen had been empty for awhile, so they figured it would be safe to walk across
it in their rubber boots. But as soon as HoneyBits stepped into the pen, she sank waist deep
into a pool of manure! Apparently her friend’s dad had decided to turn the pen into a storage
pit for cow shit. HoneyBits’ boots were completely filled
so she had to abandon them. The pool of shit was too deep to climb out of so she had to
slowly wade through it to get to the other side. They hosed off but HoneyBits still smelt
like cow manure for the next week!
Number 8 was submitted by CapeCrusade Slapped Ham
When Slapped Ham was in the sixth grade he went on a field trip to Grenville House. On
the fourth day there the teacher burst in during lunch and said, “All right, who threw
their poo at the shower wall?” She systematically went around asking questions
and wouldn’t let anyone go until they’d proven they were innocent. Slapped Ham was
a suspect until the very end. During his interrogation he broke down crying. He told the teacher
that while he was scratching an itch in the shower he felt something slide out of his
butt! He didn’t know what to do, so he panicked and threw the shit at the wall. Slapped Ham
didn’t want anyone to know it was him, but once it came out he became a school legend.
Number 7 was submitted by QualityLennySpam Pringle
My friend Pringle has a messed up relationship with food. This one time his cousin dared
him to drink an expired yoghurt drink. The drink had been sitting in the backseat of
a car for a whole week during one of the hottest summers on record. It stank like hell and
tasted like really sour blueberries. Pringle never went down the dairy aisle again.
Number 6 was submitted by munchonacho Andie One night Andie was chilling on her bed watching
some stuff on YouTube. She was putting on her lip balm when she accidentally dropped
it down the side of the bed. As she reached under and felt around, she felt something
a little… furrier than lip balm. Andie poked her head under the bed to investigate and
found five hundred baby spiders hatching. She screamed so loud she woke everyone in
the house. The proud mommy and daddy spiders were under there too – probably wishing
they could have some goddamn privacy!
Number 5 was submitted by Robo When Robo was little he used to make his dog
sleep on his bed every night. His mom told him to leave the door open so the dog could
go out and pee if it needed to. But Robo didn’t want the dog to wake up and leave him so he
kept the door closed. Jump ahead to Christmas night where Robo and
his family had a big feast. Robo’s dog hung around his owners all night eating table scraps.
He ended up eating a lot of human food that he wouldn’t normally eat.
That night Robo took his dog with him to bed. In the middle of the night, he woke to a warm,
wet sensation on his face. Robo’s dog had THREW UP on his face and was proceeding to
lick it back up! Robo’s screams woke his whole family. His mom thinks it was the dog’s
way of protesting against being locked up all night.
Number 4 was submitted by Maddieboo13_Zieg Doopie
The grossest thing that happened to Doopie was in middle school during a routine fire
drill. The siren had rang so Doopie and her friends were heading to the evacuation point.
As they waited for their names to be called, Doopie heard some girls talking about her.
One of them tapped her on the shoulder and said, “You’re on.” Doopie didn’t know
what they meant so she said, “Okay!” with a smile on her face. The girl then offered
her a tampon, pointed to the huge stain on Doopie’s tights, and said “Um… You’re
on your period!” Doopie was so embarrassed that she left the
roll call. She ran straight to the bathroom where she stuffed lots of toilet paper into
her underwear. She sent her friend a text asking if she could borrow her jacket and
tied it around her waist to cover the leak. For the rest of the day Doopie was terrified
people would see the stain or notice her fishy odour. She even thought about skipping class.
In the end, Doopie made it through her horrible day. When she got home she washed her friend’s
jacket, though she never saw her wear it again…
Number 3 was submitted by MaximumCarnage_ Snewpee
One day Snewpee’s teacher had a bad cold. Instead of staying home, she came in and made
her students listen to her sniffling all day. That morning the teacher went around checking
everyone’s homework. When she got to Snewpee, she stood over her desk looking at her answers.
That’s when Snewpee noticed a disgusting liquid dripping from her teacher’s nose.
The liquid fell in slow motion and splashed onto Snewpee’s binder. The teacher acted
like it wasn’t a big deal and just wiped it away with a tissue.
But Snewpee was horrified. She was a huge germaphobe and couldn’t bring herself to
use the binder again. She threw it away and never looked at her teacher the same way.
Number 2 was submitted by Bookwyrm83 Dolan’s Brother
Dolan’s Brother was driving home from his honeymoon when he suddenly needed to pee.
He stopped in to use the men’s room at a gas station and immediately knew something
was wrong. What he could smell wasn’t the usual ‘gross public bathroom’ smell; it
was the ‘holy shit, is the sewage line backed up?’ kinda smell. He bravely pressed on
to the door. The smell here was so terrible it made him
want to puke. Dolan’s brother had worked as a janitor in the past, so he’d come across
some nasty things in his time. But this… this was by far the worst smell he’d ever
experienced. When he opened the door he was sure something had died and rotted there in
a summer heatwave. The toilet had mould all over it, like it had never seen a sponge or
any sort of cleaning fluid. It obviously hadn’t been flushed, so someone had been desperate
enough to use it. The tiles were wet with god knows what and there was no sink or soap
to wash your hands. The worst part was the dried orange stains
running all up the walls. Dolan’s brother knew that these stains were human urine. Even
though he was absolutely busting, he immediately closed the door, went back to his car and
drove as fast as he could to the next place with a toilet. His new wife said he looked
like he’d just seen a ghost.
Number 1 is a story by me hello – oh god i've dealt with some gross stuff but this
one really takes the cake.
So one day I was over at a friends house and he offered me something to drink right?
No biggie, super nice of him I thought. He gave me a cup of soda that he poured in
Then I looked at the drink.
Easily this soda has been out for months. Years even.
I just looked back at him and smiled, didn't want to hurt the guys feelings.
So I drank a little, it was like syrup, I could barely get it down.
After drinking the whole thing and left I was sick for about a week. I then found out
that he just grabbed a can from his grandfathers study.
It went bad way back in the early 70's and the cap was slightly open so who knows what
was in it.
Oh god brrrrr it gives me chills thinking about it.
It doesn't seem that bad but man soda should not have the consistancy of thick syrup.
I got sick, really really sick from that sludge.
Alright, well that's it hope you guys had a uh, had a good time.
Huge thanks for the folks over on our Planet Dolan subreddit for submitting their stories.
We have another question for you: “What’s something you did to get back at someone?”
Let us know in the Reddit page linked below and you might be featured in a future countdown.