-Well,
last night, we all watched a petulant psycho
debase himself and the nation on live TV
and, now, his deranged sycophants
are making all kind of excuses for his performance.
For more on this, it's time for "A Closer Look."
[ Suspenseful theme plays ]
So, where to begin with that debate last night?
Actually, debate is not the right word.
It was more like a collective brain hemorrhage.
It was like watching democracy get a lobotomy
or, as CNN put it...
-This was the most chaotic
presidential debate I've ever seen
and I suspect most of you,
if not all of you, have ever seen.
-That was a hot mess
inside a Dumpster fire,
inside a train wreck.
That was the worst debate I have ever seen.
In fact, it wasn't even a debate.
It was a disgrace.
-That was a [bleep]show.
And, you know, we're on cable. We can say that.
Apologies for being, maybe, a little bit crude.
-You guys are being way too charitable.
Watching that debate was like hotboxing a Porta Potti
with crystal meth
in Phoenix, in July.
It was like being hit on the head with a lead pipe
in a room filled with nitrous oxide.
It was like watching a two-person performance
of "12 Angry Men" where one actor played one part
and one was mad enough for the other 11.
Also, Dana, I don't think you have to worry about being crude.
Nothing you can say or do could top that debate.
Wolf Blitzer coulda shown up in full BDSM gear,
screaming the lyrics to "WAP," and it still wouldn't have been
the crudest thing that happened last night.
Woulda been the most fun thing.
You know, we got a couple more debates left, Wolf.
It was, to state the obvious,
one of the most embarrassing debacles in American history.
And I'm including Kevin Federline performance
at the 2016 Choice Awards.
Okay, Fed, we owe you an apology.
We thought "PopoZao" was the lowest point
in American history, but that was
before the president took a PopoZao on the debate stage.
And the debate somehow managed to top
the embarrassing run-up in the days prior,
during which the right-wing fever swamp
belched up a bunch of insane conspiracy theories
about Joe Biden, all of which found airtime
on Fox News, from their morning shows
to their supposed straight-news anchors.
Fox spent the entirety of yesterday
airing one deranged claim
about Biden's cognitive state after another.
-The Trump team asked to inspect the ears of each debater
for electronic devices or transmitters.
The Biden team has not consented to that.
-As far as the listening devices
and the Biden campaign's response to that,
I think that's interesting
and we're going to have to follow that through the day.
-It's a risk to run a candidate who may be senile.
The Trump campaign is convinced that Biden's staff
will try to feed him lines through an earpiece.
-Elderly people experiencing memory loss
and other problems associated with age.
You can have, you know, know, go for periods
of hours at a time and be just fine.
I don't think there's any doubt Biden's senile,
but it doesn't mean it's going to show up tonight.
-Look, the man has dementia.
There's no doubt about it. [ Laughs ]
I've talked to doctors.
I've had them look at 100 different tapes of his
five years ago and today.
-The Biden people say he's fine.
-Oh! [ Mumbling ]
He can't recite the Pledge of Allegiance and he's fine?
He actually displays symptoms that two gerontologists told me
are classic symptoms of middle-level dementia.
I think the president is quite right to say
maybe he's taken Adderall
or some kind of attention deficit disorder thing.
It's not just my opinion.
It's the opinion of a number of doctors
I've actually, you know, interviewed.
-Were they interviews or were they exams?
Like during these interviews, Rudy,
were you wearing a gown that tied in the back?
[ As Giuliani ] These interviews were so secret,
they didn't want me to take notes,
so they tied my hands together.
But, sure, Fox & Friends, take medical advice
from a guy who always looks like he has electrodes attached
to his testicles and makes this noise --
Wha-wha-wha-uh!
Also, Fox & Friends, what are you guys doing?
A lunatic rants and raves about God knows what
and you just sit there like tourists
watching a guy take a dump on the F train.
"Maybe this is performance art?
Honey, just give me a dollar. I'm going to tip him."
Also, I love this new argument Fox has, courtesy of Brit Hume,
that Biden is actually secretly senile.
Seems to me that, if you have it together enough
to hide that you're senile, you might not be senile.
Pretty sure, if you were suffering from dementia,
it would show up at the debate.
In fact, I'm pretty sure it did.
Seriously, everyone who watched that debate had flashbacks
to arguing with a drunk friend to hand over his car keys.
[ As Trump ] I'm not drunk.
Then tell me, how many fingers I'm holding up.
[ As Trump ] Hunter Biden.
Burisma.
So they tried arguing that Biden was in cognitive decline,
but then it became obvious he wasn't,
so they had to change tack
to suggesting that maybe he's on drugs.
If anyone's on drugs, it's you guys.
If you tune into Fox News at any given moment,
they sound like they just got done
doing blow in the bathroom at CBGB.
They sound like coked up screenwriters pitching ideas.
"Alright, so like what if he has like,
I don't know, a secret earpiece, right?
He gets questions in advance, but he's senile
and you can't tell because he got a shot of adrenaline
in his heart, just like, uh, 'Pulp Fiction.' Whoo!"
Even Fox is supposed straight-news anchors
are just casually entertaining and saying conspiracy theories,
like Biden wearing an earpiece at the debate.
You'd know if Biden was wearing an earpiece
because he wouldn't have the latest model.
He'd have the big old clunky one with the curly wire
going down the back of his shirt
and, during that debate, he woulda called for backup
like an undercover cop at a drug bust gone bad.
[ As Biden ] Oh, man, I didn't realize you,
uh, fellows would have so many guns.
You got to get me out of here. Sassafras! Sassafras!
But, sure, let's entertain the idea
that one of the candidates
was on Adderall. I wonder who it was.
-They will, under my proposal... -That's not what you said
-...but that is -- -and it's not what your party
is saying. -And so we have to be engaged --
-That's not what they're talking about, Chris.
-We have the highest trade deficit
-China ate your lunch. -with Mexico.
-Alright, gentlemen. -Down 18%.
China ate your lunch, Joe.
-He said maybe we should drop a nuclear weapon on them.
They may go away. -I never said that.
-Antifa's an idea,
not an organization. -Oh, you gotta be
kidding. -Not militia. If he'd just stay
out of the way. Look here -- -Oh, oh, really? Oh, really?
-This guy, if, in fact -- -I want to see an honest ballot.
-He's just afraid of counting the votes
because he knows what the outcome will be. -You're wrong. You're wrong.
I love counting the votes. -I want to continue with you
on this, Vice President Biden.
-Chris, he's so wrong when he makes a statement like that. -In fact, no.
-Oh, man, did someone switch out his can
for Diet Crank -- All the crank, none of the calories?
I've never seen the actual redness of his face
overtake his bronzer like that.
Trump had so much crazy coke energy
that the moderator, Chris Wallace,
literally had to yell "No" at him
to beg him to stop interrupting.
-You do want me to ban Europe... -Alright, gentlemen -- No.
-...which was heavily -- -Mr. President.
-You would've been much later,
Joe, much later. -Mr. President.
Sir, you're debating him... -Chris, that was the worst
part of Obama -- -not me. Let me ask my question.
-Well, I'll ask Joe. -I-I-I --
-The individual -- -No.
No! Hey, Mr. President.
Mr. President. -Even the people who testified
under oath. -No, no, go ahead.
No, no, no! Mr. President.
-3.5 million, Joe. -Mr. President.
-3.5 million. -No, no, no.
-He said. -Stop. Wait a minute.
Mr. President.
No, Mr. President. -Go ahead.
-No! -Can I be honest?
It's a very important question. -Try to be honest.
That'd be a good thing. -He stood up.
-No. The answer -He stood up
and he threatened -- -to the question is no!
-The moderator of a nationally televised debate
had to treat the president
like a rabid dog humping his leg.
[ As Wallace ] No, no, no, no!
No, no, no! Bad!
Bad president!
Meanwhile, Biden was just standing there,
looking over at the camera like a grandpa on a sitcom.
[ As Biden ] Uh, I can't believe my daughter
married this dope.
But the deranged petulance on display
from Trump last night, it's not unique
and it's not an aberration within the GOP
or the conservative movement.
Unless you let them scream uninterrupted
for 90 minutes straight,
they think you're out to get them,
even if you work for the same network.
During the debate, Fox host Laura Ingraham tweeted...
I love how she calls Chris Wallace "the moderator,"
like she doesn't know him. You guys are coworkers,
you get the same Fox News sweatshirts every Christmas,
and your paychecks are signed by the same guy.
These people are such pathetic sycophants.
Can you imagine if Ingraham moderated a debate?
[ As Ingraham ] Mr. President, the first question is to you.
How are you so good at golf?!
And is it hard being as strong and handsome as you are?
You have 90 minutes to respond. And, Mr. Biden,
you can go!
Not like Wallace didn't have moments of obsequiousness.
Twice, he teed up questions
by promising the president they would make him happy.
-Sir, you'll be happy
I'm about to pick up on one of your points
to ask the vice president, which is he points out
that you would like to add a public option to Obamacare.
Mr. President, you're going to be very happy because we're
now going to talk about law and order. -Excuse me. Please.
-First of all, it's not your job to make him happy.
Second of all, you're wasting your time
because he's never going to be happy.
If he was a children's book character, he would be an ogre
who eats the happiness of children and never gets full,
and then a talking butterfly would tell him,
"You'll never taste happiness until you face your anger,"
and then, he'd eat the butterfly.
And, third of all, it's not a moderator's job
to be a hostage negotiator,
trying to get the president to calm down during a debate.
[ As Wallace ] I know you're upset about, uh, protesters, sir.
We're going to send in some sandwiches.
Trump's allies just can't help
but make excuses for his grotesque behavior.
Even Don Jr. got in on the Wallace bashing,
in an interview with Sean Hannity,
and Hannity said nothing.
-We knew that was coming, anyway, with Chris Wallace.
You know, I understand he's a Fox guy,
but he's no, uh, he's no conservative.
He's going to be -- And he's no centrist, either.
-I'm sorry. You think Chris Wallace is a liberal?
He works for Fox News. He's not a liberal.
He had the energy of a exhausted dad at Thanksgiving,
trying to get his burnout son to take off his headphones.
[ As Wallace ] Tyler, what do we say
about blasting Metallica at the dinner table?
No, Tyler. Stop giving me the middle finger.
Ohhhh, now it's double middle fingers.
Very creative, Tyler. You know what?
You're about to be very happy
because I'm moving your curfew back
to 3:00 am.
Yet, the Fox News postdebate spin
was even more pathetic
than all the whining about the moderator.
-Trump is an apex predator.
He's the lion king.
Trump went out there tonight and did what Trump does.
He's the shark in the ocean and he acted like it.
-You're going to get a gladiator-warrior-fighter
in Donald Trump,
a guy that is going to go to battle,
like he has for the last four years.
-[ As Hume ] He's a predator, gladiator,
shark in the ocean.
He's like a cross between He-Man,
Xena: Warrior Princess,
and a bowl of farina with googly eyes.
And I'm sorry. You watched that debate
and saw an apex predator and a gladiator-warrior-fighter?
Because he didn't look like a predator to me.
Most of the time, he stood there
with his head cocked like an old dog
who just heard a twig snap,
held onto that podium
the way my grandma holds onto her walker
when they're reading the Powerball numbers.
And, when they weren't slobbering all over him,
Fox pundits and GOP allies were pretending
they watched a completely different debate altogether.
-The president was so solid,
when he talked about the economy,
when he talked about his COVID response.
-That's pretty selective.
That's like saying this guy nailed the approach...
-Wah!
Whoa! [ Laughter ]
-Yeah, I just wanted to watch it again.
[ Laughter ]
That's what the Internet's good for.
Instead of everything else.
Trump's incapable of talking about policy
because his record is dismal and he doesn't know anything.
There's a raging pandemic,
an economic crash, and the West is on fire,
and that's why he's talking about drugs and Hunter Biden
and whatever other bull[bleep]
and his gang of Mafia bobbleheads concocted.
That's all they can talk about.
They have nothing else.
Same reason why Trump refuses
to condemn violent white supremacists
and why he's lying about the safety of mail balloting.
His only chance of remaining in power is
to undermine the election
and threaten violence, if he loses.
He doesn't want to win the election.
He wants to destroy the election,
just like he destroyed the debate.
Last night, he was given the opportunity
to denounce violent white supremacist militias
and told them to stand by
and then later urged his supporters to go to the polls
and physically intimidate voters.
-Are you willing, tonight,
to condemn white supremacist
and militia groups -Sure.
-and to say that they need to stand down
and not add to the violence in a number of these cities,
as we saw in Kenosha and as we've seen in Portland?
-Sure, I'm willing to do that. -Are you prepared to specifically?
-Do it. -Well, go ahead, sir.
-I would say almost everything I see is
from the left wing, not from the right wing.
-So what are you saying? -If you look -- I'm --
I'm willing to do anything.
I want to see peace. -Well, then do it, sir.
-Say it. Do it. Say it.
-Do you want to call them? What do you want to call them?
Give me a name. Give me a name. -White supremacist --
-Go ahead. Who would you like me to condemn?
-Proud Boys. -Proud Boys?
Stand back and stand by.
-You go first. -I'm urging my supporters
to go into the polls and watch very carefully
because that's what has to happen.
I am urging them to do it.
-They literally told him, "Do it,"
condemn them, and he's still wouldn't.
The best he could muster was, "Sure," I'll condemn them
before refusing to condemn them.
That's the way you respond
when you are offered an hors d'oeuvres at a party.
[ As Trump ] Sure, I'll take a crab puff.
Then, you spit it in a napkin and throw it away.
[ As Trump ] There was [bleep] crab in that.
And then, to follow that up by telling your supporters,
which would include those violent right-wing militias
to intimidate people at the polls is just chilling.
Let's remember, we've already seen armed right-wing militias
roaming the streets of Louisville and Wisconsin
and, now, violent far-right groups, like the Proud Boys,
are celebrating Trump's call-out at the debate.
If you were to sum up the state of our democracy right now,
I think you'd have to say that it's a...
-[Bleep]show And, you know, we're on cable.
We can say that. Apologies for being,
maybe, a little bit crude.
-Dana! My word!
And if you're wondering what sort of defense Trump allies
could possibly mount of those horrific comments,
here's Rick Santorum, who, for some reason,
is still a CNN commentator, doing his level worst.
-He was asking the president to do something
that he knows the president doesn't like to do.
-Which is? -Which is say something bad
about people who support him, right?
-What, declining violence?
-We-Well, talking about --
-The white supremacists. -Supremacy?
-Yeah, the white supremacists.
-That's your defense? So, I guess, by that same token,
Trump would accept an endorsement
from ISIS, if they praised him.
If they were smart, they'd start waving Trump flags
from the back of their trucks.
[ As Trump ] So I guess, you know, long live
the caliphate, is kind of my current position.
The president's performance at last night's debate was truly
one of the most embarrassing debacles in American history.
Trump debased himself and the nation
and then, his wormy supporters slinked to his defense.
Trump's behavior last night
was perfectly emblematic of the modern GOP,
right-wing media, and the conservative movement.
The Republican mascot shouldn't be an elephant.
It should be a possum being cornered in a garage by a rake.
They're all like this, deranged, petulant children
constantly aggrieved, making excuses.
We got a close-up look at just how odious
and grotesque the president is.
His only goals are chaos and nihilism.
He thinks that's the path to power
and, now, it's up to us to show him he's wrong
and restore our democracy,
by voting, in overwhelming numbers,
to repudiate him and everything he stands for
because, right now, our democracy is a...
-Hot mess
inside a Dumpster fire,
inside a train wreck,
-This has been "A Closer Look."
♪♪
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