This Evening Is Taken From The Quran And The Sunnah And The
Islamic Teachings;
Do You Know That When We Have To Choose A Spouse? I'M Getting
To That Now, When We Have To Choose A Spouse, You Know, There'S
People Smiling Behind And I Know Why? They Say Why Weren'T
You Here 20 Years Ago?
Okay, It'S Fine.
If You'Ve Already Done It.
It'S Okay.
We Can Rectify But We Have To Talk To Those.....
We Have To Talk To Those Who Have Not Yet Chosen The Spouse
And Even If You Have Try And Go Back And See The Qualities
That You Have Looked At And Develop On Them, Develop Them...
When You Choose A Spouse, The Hadith Says: There Are Several
Things That People Look At; Some People Look At Wealth,
Some People Look At Beauty, Some People
Look At The Status Of The Person And Some People Look At
... The Lineage Of The Person And Some People
Look At The Deen And The Religion Of The Person. So Many People
Don'T Understand This Narration When The Narration Says
The Hadith Says Become
Successful By Selecting The The One With Religion, With Character
And Conduct, Coupled With Deen / Religion. One Narration, The Prophet (Saw) Says
When A Proposal Comes From Someone;
Whom You Are Satisfied With Their Level Of Character And
Conduct Or In Fact Starting With The Level Of Deen And Character
Then Allow Them To Get Married, Allow Them To Marry. You Are Looking
At Two Things: Character And Deen; Which Means If The Character
Is Great And Good Or Equivalent To Your Slightly Higher And The
Deen Level Is Equivalent To Your Slightly Higher;
Then You Stand A Better Chance For Your Daughter To Be In
A Home Where She Will Be Happy.
Get Them Married.
So Why Is It That When It Comes To Wealth And Looks And So On?
Some People Think That In Islam, It Don'T Look At Looks...
You Know, You Don'T Look At Looks As It Is The Women Are
Supposed To Be Covered.
You Don'T Look At Looks. That'S Wrong.
The Hadith Didn'T Say Do Not Look It Looks. The Hadith Is
Saying What You See All The Points You Want To See But Give
The Tip Of The Scale To The Religion, Which Means If You Have
Someone Who'S Drop-Dead Gorgeous And They Don'T Have Any
Deen In Them And Then You Have Someone Who Hasn'T Yet, You
Know Killed You, You Know, What Drop Dead Means You Die....
They Haven'T Yet Killed You With Their Looks But Mashallah,
They Can... I Don'T Know If You Can Say It Drop Unconscious
Gorgeous. That'S A Statement Which Is Just Slightly Less Than The Dd,
You Know, So If Someone Comes And They Good-Looking, Okay,
They Have A Better Deen In Them.
It Is Better For You To Compromise The Looks To A Certain
Extent And Make Sure That The Religion Is Intact Then To
Go Only For Looks Because The Plan Of Allah, Is There Will
Come A Stage When That Blemishless Face Will Develop Wrinkles;
If You Have Loved The Outward Face, You Will Not Be Able
To Get Along With That Woman.
Because If You Have Loved The Interior, It Only Blossoms
As Time Passes. With The Wrinkles Of The Face, The Wrinkles
Of The Heart Disappear.
Have You Ever Thought Of That With The Wrinkles Of The Face
The Wrinkles Of The Heart Disappear?
Because Now When A Person Becomes Old And Aging They Develop
A Link With Allah Subhanahu Wa'Ta'Ala, They Become Better.
They Are Worried About Their Death And The Generations
To Follow And Their Children... And Now, Their Grandchildren,
You Now Need To Guide Your Sons And Daughters How To Get
Married. So, We Are Looking For Someone Who Is ...
Reasonable Looking, Someone Who Has A Good Voice.
I Made Mention Of That The Other Day Or Was It Yesterday.
When We Did Say That, You Know, It'S Important To Marry Someone
Who Has A Voice That You Are At Least, You Know Attracted
To. You Cannot Marry A Person Whom You Don'T Like Their Voice At All.
It'S Not Like They Are Bad.
Someone Else Will Come Along Who Will Like That Voice.
You Know, This Is Why We Tell Everyone Sometimes In The Muslim
Home, We Are Suffering Because People And Let'S Talk About
Some Of The Women Folk And What The Norm Is Because Of Television
And The Bombardment, You Have A Certain Shape That Is Acceptable
And A Certain Shape That The Media Has Made You Believe Is
Unacceptable. I Have Come Across Man Who Have Told Me I Prefer Big Woman.
I'M Just Letting You Know. The Reason Why I'M Saying This
Is Because No Matter What Size You Are Someone, Somewhere
Will Definitely Feel Attracted To That. Allah Has Created
Us Differently.
So Don'T Think For A Moment.
You Know What? I'M Not Really So Good Looking, Why?
Yes, We Should Be Healthy.
We Should Be Concerned But Not To The Point Of Depression,
Not At All, Because Then The Home Goes, You Know, How Does
The Home Fragmenting That? You Find Women Prohibiting Themselves
From Food And After A While They Come To The Sheikh, Sheikh, I Think
My Daughter Has A Jinn/Devil, Why? You Know, She Sees Things, She Sees
Things. What Does She See? Like Stars Like Different Things,
You Know, And They'Re Not There.. You Know, I Think There'S
A Jinn. So People Have Come To Me Saying This And We Look At
Them Completely Anorexic, Completely Out Of Food And Everything
You Say, You Know, What? The Jinn Do Not Like Dairy Products.
So The Minute You Have Some Dairy Products Your Jinn Will
Begin To Disappear Because That Is You Know, It'S Like Opposite
Poles And The Jinn Like Red Meat, You Know, Certain Proportions
And So On And You Find, Wallahi, I Have Had Cases Where They
Then Tell You After That, That Alhamdulillah, The Jinn Is Gone.
That Was Just Malnourishment.
You Couldn'T.... You Had You Were Dizzy While You Are Walking
And All That, Because You Didn'T Eat And You Didn'T Eat Because
You Worried About How Slim You Should Be, You Know, Today,
If A Woman Is More Than 45 Kgs,
Wow, It'S A Problem.
Why? Inshallah You Can Go Up Or Down Whatever
It Is For As Long As You Are Healthy.
You Can Eat It And Burn It And This Is Why A Better Way Than
To Abstain From Food Is To Have It And Burn It Out.
May Allah Subhanahu Wa'Ta'Ala Beautify Our Women For Our
Men. And I'M Not Talking About All The Men But I'M Talking
About The Husbands, In Sha Allah.
May Allah Subhanahu Wa'Ta'Ala Grant Us Good Homes And May
Allah Beautify The Men As Well,
Inshallah, And The Beauty Of A Man Is More In His Character
And Conduct Than Anything Else.
Believe Me,
If You Have A Man Who'S Mediocre-Looking And His Character
Is Brilliant.
He Attracts Much More Than A Person Whose Character Stinks.
Sorry To Use That Word.
A Character Stinks And He Might Be A..., You Know, A Very Very
Muscular Handsome Man, You Know And People Will Say No No, No, Be Careful.
This Guy'S Only Got Swear Words From His Mouth And Sometimes
What Happens Is A Few Moments Later Or A Few Days Or Months
Later People Realize This Man Is Not What The Outward Appearance
Says He Is. The Same Applies.
So This Goes Back To Our Point When We Are Choosing We Can Look At
We Can Look At Wealth, We Can Look At Various Other Things
Just That I Mentioned Health Obviously.
We Know In The Shira,
It'S Important To Be Healthy.
And If We Have Health Matters That Need To Be Known By The
Spouse, You Need To Tell Them Prior To Marriage.
You Cannot Hide Something Major; If It'S Just A Cough, Don'T Say,
Look, I Don'T Know If You Want To Marry Me,
I'Ve Got A Cough, You Know, But If It Is Something Major Then Definitely
It Needs To Be Said. So, We Can Look At The Issue Of Lineage,
The Issue Of Wealth, The Issue Of Status And So On, That Is
Not To Be Given Preference.
If Those Come Without The Religion, We'D Rather Stay Away.
That'S What Islam Teaches Us.
Because The Success According To The End Of The Hadith, The
True Success Is Connected To Those Who Have Become Successful
With The Deen And Now, I Want To Pause For A Minute To Tell
You A Typical Scenario. When A Person Marries Someone Whom
They Have Seen Not Dressed Properly Perhaps In A Nightclub,
Perhaps At A Party, Perhaps, You Know, Doing Something Wrong
And That Has Attracted The Man And The Two Of Them Get To
Talk To Each Other And They Decide After Some Time,
We'D Like To Get Married And They Married. Can I Tell You What
Has Happened? And I'M Talking Reality. Sometimes, What Happens
Is The Woman At Some Staged Realizes That I Need To Develop
My Spirituality.
So She Wants To Start Covering Her Hair, Perhaps She Wants
To Put On Something ...The Husband Says Look, That'S Not The
Woman I Married.
I Didn'T Marry That Woman.
So, The Fact That We Were Not Dressed Appropriately And We
Allowed Someone To Love Our Outer Looks, We Become Enslaved
By That Forever.
It May Block Us From Developing Religiously Because The Man
Will Keep On Saying Look That'S Not The Woman I Married. I
Married You Because Of How Head And Shoulders Looked In Your
Hair And I Married You Because Of How The Levi'S Jeans Looked
On Your Legs And So On.
So If That'S The Case Now, I Want You To Dress Like That
Forever. If You Don'T, I'M Going To Get Another Wife.
Now, You Are Sitting And Saying But... Can'T I Get Close To Allah? My Beloved Sister,
It Was A Mistake That Was Made Years Back And I Hope Those
Who Are Not Yet Married,
We Can Take A Lesson And I Hope The Brothers Who Are Here
If There Are Any One Of Us Who Might Have Made That Type
Of Choice, Allow Them To The Growth In Spirituality.
Don'T Be Embarrassed By Your Wife When She Covers Up Properly
After She Hadn'T Been Doing That For Long.
It Will Help You And Your Offspring.
Remember When You Sow A Seed Then It Grows. So You Cannot
Sow A Seed Of Cactus And Expect Apples To Grow,
Yes.
Mind You There Is A Cactus Fruit For As Long As You You Know,
Rub Off Or You Scrape Off All The Little The Prickly Points On It,
You Might Enjoy That Cactus Fruit,
I Don'T Know If You Have It Here.
But Who Wants To Handle That When You Can Have A Proper Apple,
Mashallah?
My Beloved Brothers And Sisters,
The Beauty Of Islam Is Such That From The Beginning Whether
It Is The Upbringing Of The Child Or How To Select A Spouse
Allah Subhanahu Wa'Ta'Ala Has Laws In Place That Will Help
You From The Family Fragmenting, Breaking Up.
So If We Follow The Rules From The Very Beginning Then We
Will Find That The Family Unit Will Not Break.
However, Sometimes We Have As You Know Cases Where We Didn'T
Look At That, We Might Have Overlooked It.
We Might Not Have Been That Religious At That Time And So On.
There Are Still Solutions.
You See We Are Taught To Attend The Nikah /Marriage To Witness,
The Nikah Of People.
It Is A Sunnah To Have It In The Masjid. When We Are Getting
Married, It Is An Act Of Worship And It Is In Fact, Taught
By The Prophet Peace Be Upon Him That As Far As Possible
Try To Have The Officiation Within A Masjid.
According To One Narration, Try And Have It In The Masjid.
Because It'S The House Of Allah. Imagine, You Say I'M Having My Wedding/
I'M Having My Officiation, And I'D Like To Have It At
This Hall Or That Hall, It'S Okay.
It'S Not Like It'S Not Going To Be Valid.
But Say I Want To Have It In The House Of Allah The One Who
Made Me Now, I Want To Tie The Knot In His House, Subhanallah.
That Is So Blessed. Over And Above That,
We Need To Know That We Are Encouraged To Attend When Other
People Are Getting Married. You Encouraged To Attend To Be
Witness. One Of The Reasons
Of That And The Scholars Have Mentioned Many Reasons Is That
You Need To Ponder Over Your Plight And Condition.
You Are Either A Person Who'S Married Or You Are Not Married
Or You'Ve Lost Your Spouse Through Divorce Or Death.
You Cannot Really Be Any Other Probability.
You'Re Either Married Or Not Married Yet Or You'Ve Lost Your
Spouse Through Death Or Through Divorce.
So When You Sit And You Watch This Groom, A Beautiful You
Watch Them, Watch Them Properly.. And The Imam Says Have You
Accepted Her As Your Wife?
You Find In A Lot Of Cases Especially Know That The Innocent
Ones When I Say The Innocent Ones;
I Mean Not Those Who Have Now Gone Out For 8 Years And You
Know, They Probably Have Had You Know, How Can I Word It Respectfully?
They Have Had Relations Deeper Than What Married Couples
Would Have Had Then They Just Want To Halalise / Legitimate It Eight Years Later?
We Don'T Want That To Happen. Islam Has Made Marriage Very
Easy. Islam Has Made Marriage Very Easy.
One Of The Reasons Is Let'S Not Block Our Children From Getting
Married. Sometimes You Have A Man Who Says No, I Want You
To Finish Your Studies And So On.
It'S Important To Finish Your Studies.
We Are Not Saying No, Very Important.
But Don'T You Want To Protect Them From The Sin That Is Being
Committed Right Now At The Varsity When Marriage Is So Easy.
You Can Put In Your Rules And Regulations And There Is No
Harm. You Can Say Look If We Get The Marriage Done Then You Will Not
Live With One Another Until The Age Of.... Until You Complete
Your Studies And So On But The Link You Have Now Is Halal.
I'M Only Suggesting A Solution And I'M Not Sure If Some Of
You May Find It Applicable Or Not, But We Have Found It Applicable
And We Have Tried To Encourage Some Who Have Engaged In It
And They Have Not Regretted It.