- We'll get five random topics from all around the room,
then we'll drop a beat, do a freestyle rap.
If you are sat in section number one,
what would you like a rap about?
- [Audience Member] Sea parks!
- You're not in that section,
but you shout it out loud and proud?
- [Audience Member] Sea Parks!
- Sea Parks?
I'm gonna echo that man.
"What the fuck?"
(audience laughs)
He runs a start-up, and he was like,
"I'm gonna see if people know what my start-up is.
Yeah, Sea Parks.
Fuck. No one's ever heard of it."
(audience laughs)
A sea park?
I mean, if I ask you, "What is it?"
I'm afraid you're just gonna say, "It's a park in the sea."
(audience laughs)
- [Audience Member] Sea trout!
- Sea trout?
- [Audience member] Sorry, no.
(audience laughs)
- You're so far away. The lag.
It's like you are sat a mile away.
(audience laughs)
Are you from the 1910s
when this was an invention? (audience laughs)
"Hey, come down to Atlantic City.
We got Sea Parks.
Hey, hey, ah-ha ah." (audience laughs)
Whatever the fuck a sea park is,
that's what we're rapping about.
Right?
We'll bounce over to this segment of the room.
Hello, what would you like a rap about?
Yeah, a hand up there.
- [Audience Member] A tiny, tiny person.
- A tiny, like a borrower? (audience laughs)
- [Patron] Like an inch tall.
- Like a tiny, tiny person? Are you Irish?
- [Audience Member] No.
- No. Why are you putting on the accent then?
(audience laughs)
A tiny, tiny person.
A tiny one. (audience laughs)
Where are you from?
- [Audience Member] North Carolina.
- North Carolina.
Fun fact.
People in North Carolina sound Irish
when they say "Tiny, tiny person."
(audience laughs)
A tiny, tiny person, cool.
Front middle of the room, we'll come to you.
What do you want a rap about?
- [Audience Member] Puppy's birthday party.
- A puppy's birthday party?
I will accept that.
It's an animal, but it's quite cute.
What breed?
- [Audience Member] Cavapoo.
- A Cavapoo?
(audience laughs)
Fucking every month there's a new...
(audience laughs)
So that's a poodle with a...?
- [Audience] Cavalier.
- A Cavalier? What the fuck is a...
Oh, wait, literally you mean a King Charles?
Ah! (audience laughs and claps)
Yeah, we've still got our insidious claws everywhere.
(audience laughs)
Okay. Okay.
A party for a Cavapoo puppy,
Sea Parks and a tiny, tiny person.
Let's come.
I mean, we didn't even get one from this section
'cause he shouted, but back of the,
did you shout chainsaw?
- [Audience Member] I did.
Yeah, I will accept that
'cause you look like you've used a chainsaw.
(audience laughs)
Now let me ask, are you from New Jersey?
- [Audience Member] Of course.
- Of course? Are you?
It's fucking terrifying because I...
(audience laughs)
If he was like, "No, I'm from Maine."
I'd be like, "Oh trees!"
But no.
Bodies, right?
(audience laughs)
(Comedian growling)
(audience laughs)
Okay, chainsaw.
Back of the room lets get this side.
- [Audience Member] Cheesecake Factory.
- [Audience Member] Vomiting at the Cheesecake Factory.
- Okay, so Cheese Factory.
But what did you add to it?
- [Audience Member] Vomiting at the Cheesecake Factory.
- Vomiting at the Cheesecake Factory, excellent.
Excellent advice, really?
Yeah. (audience laughs)
My lovely band.
I'm blessed to have you here.
I would love you to bless this audience with your talents.
(audience cheering and clapping)
(bell ringing)
Let's see what we're gonna do.
They come up with music.
I come up with a rap.
It will be as good as the suggestions.
The suggestions were great. (audience laughs)
Set a high bar.
Jesus fucking Christ.
This is Rex trying to fuck me up, but we'll do this.
♪ Freestyle bars off the dome ♪
♪ You know, I have a few ♪
♪ Back in the day a puppy ♪
♪ I was lusting for the Cavapoo, you take two ♪
♪ The poodle, that'd be smart ♪
♪ Second on the dog intelligence chart ♪
♪ But then a hawk ♪
♪ A tiny, we spaniel long brown ears ♪
♪ Ever so lustrous in the locks. Come here ♪
♪ I make them get to fucking ♪
♪ I have to hold the smaller dog right on top of Poodle ♪
♪ I know it's looking pretty odd, but now we celebrate it ♪
♪ We're getting yucky ♪
♪ 'Cause they're eating all the raw meat there ♪
♪ I see my puppy face down ♪
♪ He's like, "Yo, this was no mistake" ♪
♪ Apologies. It's not dog food ♪
♪ It's cheesecake ♪
♪ We're at the Factory ♪
♪ I'm pushing it into his stomach ♪
♪ My appetite starts to plummet ♪
♪ Now something be rumbling around ♪
♪ Start knees shaking on the ground ♪
♪ And I'm hurling and my guts people vomit at the sound ♪
♪ We'd be throwing up a technical flow Cheesecake Factory ♪
♪ Now, you'll never want to go ♪
♪ If you smell the scent of the vanilla, I know ya bowels ♪
♪ Your stomach hits just gonna spill out your gullet ♪
♪ You feel the burn ♪
♪ Like the acid starting in your heartburn over here ♪
♪ Some guy was smart and he was saying, "Sea Parks ♪
♪ I know everyone knows this thing ♪
♪ I'm gonna say at the comedy show" ♪
♪ Here I go, "Sea Park" ♪
♪ Chris, why you're not backing me up ♪
♪ You heard Sea Park ♪
♪ This guy was like, "What the fuck" ♪
♪ No one knows what that is ♪
♪ It's so pretty ♪
♪ Let me break it down ♪
♪ It's like an amusement park that's shitty ♪
♪ Oh, just go into the grimy ocean ♪
♪ Come on guys ♪
♪ You can cause a lovely commotion ♪
♪ Find a starfish ♪
♪ There's no slides ♪
♪ There's just a rock pool and it's slightly snide ♪
♪ For you to say, "I hear that guttural roar" ♪
♪ Rev, Rev, room, room, with my lovely chainsaw ♪
♪ See the little blades moving round and round ♪
♪ Swirly, twirly ♪
♪ "Yes, of course, I'm from New Jersey ♪
♪ I'm walking in chopping limb from limb" ♪
♪ Everyone keep an eye on him ♪
♪ He knows where bodies are buried ♪
♪ He loves to attack it ♪
♪ The mafia, they prefer using baths full of acid ♪
♪ But you, nah, that's not that shit ♪
♪ You start chopping them up into tiny bits ♪
♪ You'd be breaking them down ♪
♪ Yes. No rehearsing after you finish with them ♪
♪ They're a real fucking tiny person ♪
(audience cheering)