My boss plays favorites, what should I do?
Hands up or thumbs up if you've been there before.
Favoritism at work is common, and it's fine.
As long as you're the boss's favorite.
But when your boss plays favorites and you're not the favorite one,
it's stressful and unfair. I spent more than a decade in the tech industry,
and I very frequently saw favoritism in the workplace in action.
And it's an obstacle that many of my clients come to me to help them with.
In case favoritism is causing you stress at work or even holding you back.
I wanted to make this video just for you. If you're a boss,
plays favorites and you're ready to learn how to deal with
favoritism in the workplace, tap that like button. So I know you're ready
and let's get into it. I don't forget to see it all the way to the end,
because of course I have a special resource for those who do.
Let's begin by getting to know the dynamics of favoritism at work.
Is there a reason why this person has become the boss's favorite.
And has become their right hand person? Sometimes the favorite is
a favorite for a very good reason, and you can totally learn from them.
For example, maybe the favorite is really good at anticipating problems
or solving problems before they get to become really big problems at work.
They save the boss and their boss headaches.
And because they're dependably awesome, they have achieved favorite status.
But that's not always the case,
especially when it comes to favoritism in the workplace.
And the mentoring that often goes along with favorites at work and in
particular, the mentoring and the sponsorship that goes along with it,
it is not always equitable. And if you're a female in a male dominated industry,
you already know this.
There is an interesting fact about human perception that actually creates
the inequity that comes into play here.
People prefer familiarity.
And this shows up at leaders gravitating towards.
People who remind them of themselves. I mean,
don't you like people who are just like you. You're awesome.
It becomes an echochamber of straight white dudes is what I'm really getting at
here. Is it done with intent? In most cases, no, I don't think it is.
I think it's part of the unconscious bias that really needs to be unwound.
But right now, what I can tell you is it is what it is. And that's why,
despite the fact that Tom's performance is mediocre, quantifiably,
the executive team loves him. Which brings us to the second step,
which is facing facts. When your boss plays favorites,
you alone are not going to be able to change this dynamic.
Especially if it's a company wide culture dysfunction. And with this,
I want you to keep two things in mind, often for the favorite employee.
It's awkward. People get jealous of them.
They don't like them because they're the favorite.
It's not always actually the best spot to be at.
If they express the fact to you, you can have a conversation with them
about things that they can do to help increase the visibility and the
opportunities for others, but only if they bring it up.
The other thing is you really can't talk to your boss about the fact
that they're playing favorites with people on your team. I mean,
if you want to call them out and have them get really defensive,
and maybe definitely secure your position is not their favorite, go for it.
But you're not going to be doing yourself any favors in the process.
Don't set your goal as eradicating favoritism in the workplace,
set your goal as raising your likeability to your boss.
And there's a few ways you can do this first start showing up and
doing things like your boss's favorite employee does.
And if it's not obvious to you, what makes them stand out?
What makes them so great in your next one? On one with your boss,
you can say something along the lines of,
"I've seen Tom get so many opportunities,
and obviously he's doing an amazing job and really deserves it.
Do you have any suggestions for me on how I can get similar opportunities?"
It's not accusatory. It gives credit. And it's going to show your boss that
you're proactive taking initiative. And most importantly interested.
This is going to help keep you top of mind when an opportunity actually does
arise. Plus, many of the ambitious professionals I work with, especially women
have a tendency of not getting the opportunities they want to work because
they don't ask for them. And this will solve that. The other thing you can do to
boost your likability with your boss is to ask them for a simple favor.
People love helping other people. It makes them feel good and important.
And because you make them feel good,
that actually increases their perception of you.
Just make sure that it's a strategic ask and not something that you can find on
Google.
The next tip I have for dealing with favoritism at work is something that's
come up a lot recently in my videos. And it's probably because it also happens
to be one of my life philosophy. And that is true. Keep being awesome.
I could not control being the favorite, but you can control creating impossible
to not notice results or impact that help you stand out at work.
Instead of sitting around wallowing in what you don't have.
Funnel that energy into amplifying what you do.
I'll link a video that's going to help you identify your unique awesomeness
quotient down below. This is really crucial for the next step.
And if you implement only one of these steps, one, your boss plays favorites.
I want you to make it this one.
You need to raise your visibility too many incredible
professionals give up in defeat when their boss plays favorites.
It's obvious. They're just going to promote Tom anyway. And maybe they will,
but your boss, isn't your only advocate.
And these certainly are not your best advocate, especially in this case,
start to network within your company.
And if your company has widespread favoritism and it's creating a toxic work
environment,
and you're considering leaving start networking outside of your company,
it sounds difficult, but it doesn't have to be. It's something.
I work with a lot of my clients on, and they're always amazed at how simple
it can really be on the best part about that step is with a very little amount
of effort. You automatically end up implementing the next step,
which is to create your own opportunities.
Guess what? Even if you are the boss's favorite, they might not promote you.
Either because they're going to end up in competition with them and they know
how awesome you are. They don't that, or because you're so awesome.
They can't afford to lose you on their team. Plus if you're only targeting open
opportunities that already exist, you're also competing with your coworkers,
for them that can lead to a lot of awkwardness.
When you create your own opportunities at work,
you are the only an obvious choice.
And the icing on this delicious cake is that you get to focus on the things that
you're interested in exceptional at and bring you a lot of joy.
I'd love to know if you've ever created an opportunity yourself,
whether it was initiating a project or even creating an entire position
or promotion for yourself. Let me know in the comments down below.
If raising your visibility and staging yourself to become the favorite is
something
that you are working on that is exactly what we are focusing on this week.
In the summer of success. It is completely free. I.
t's happening in my private Facebook community, the strive squad, you can join.
I'll the link in the description bar below.
And what would one of my videos be without a bonus tip. I love bonuses.
And I bet you do too. The best thing that you can actually
do when you're dealing with favoritism at work is to strengthen
your relationship with your boss. Watch this video right here for some
strategies to help you do that. If you enjoy this video,
if you found it helpful, tap that like button,
it really helps my channel and it makes you my favorite
and for the best career success advice on the worldwide web,
make sure that you click that subscription button and the notification bell as
always. Thank you so much for watching. I'll see you next time. Bye for now.