To start this video, I'm gonna be sharing a few of the things my
one-year-old daughter does to make her insanely likable. She gurgles, she giggles,
she makes that sound right there, she puts her hands up in the air when she
wants to be picked up. What else do you do? it's just so much easier back then
wasn't it?
Hi there Kelsey Tonner here from Be a Better Guide. Today we're gonna be
talking about the habits of exceptionally likeable people. Now of
course with something like this, there's no hard and fast rules and we can't be
liked by everyone. Just not possible. That being said, if I were to ask you
what the most likeable people were like that you've ever encountered, there's a
good chance that you would use terms and descriptors that are actually within
people's control things like approachability or warmth or positivity
All of this goes to show and researchers have shown, like Travis Bradbury, this is
part of something called emotional intelligence. Essentially the ability to
manage your own emotions and the emotions of others. So what we're gonna
do in this video is we've cobbled together eleven strategies that highly
emotionally intelligent people use to be more likeable. Let's take a look. One, be
genuine. People gravitate towards tour leaders who are open and authentic. We
all know how easy it is to spot somebody who's trying a little too hard or just
comes across as fake. So to combat this focus on what drives, you what makes you
passionate, what gets you excited, share this with your guests. It's an adage as
all this time but this will make you so much more likeable than trying to do the
things that you think other people want you to do or to be what other people
want you to be. Likeable people are confident and they're not afraid to be
open and vulnerable. Two, ask thoughtful questions. The biggest mistake tour
leaders make when it comes to listening is that they're often just waiting to
speak. They're not really paying attention at all. So a tip to avoid this
habit is to ask lots of questions. Something as simple as a clarifying
question shows your guests that you're truly interested and that you care about
what they're saying. You'd be surprised how much just showing a little genuine
interest and getting curious about your guests will go a long way for your
likeability. Three, don't be judgy. Likeable people are open-minded and willing to
hear multiple perspectives. These traits make you more likeable and pleasant in
conversation because nobody likes to chat with somebody who's overly dogmatic
or unthinking or maybe even condescending. To reduce our biases and
avoid this temptation to rush rate to judgment, it often means taking a little
bit more time to appreciate the perspective of somebody else. That
doesn't mean we need to agree with everyone all the time or believe what
other people believe but it does mean taking your time a little bit more
appreciating that we almost never have the full perspective and being generous
with other people. Four, don't seek attention. People are adverse to those
who are desperate for people's attention. You don't need a big extroverted
personality to be likeable as a tour leader. Being friendly,
conscientious, warm is often all you need to win over your guests. Many great
guides are performers and of course, we have the attention of the group a lot of
the time but keep this in mind, we're in the service industry. It's not about you,
it's not about your ego, it's 100% about the guests. The more that
we can be guest focused in everything that we do, the more will be appreciated
and the more we'll be liked. Five, be consistent. Few things make you more
unlikable as a group leader than being erratic or scattered or all over the map.
Guests like to know with whom they're dealing and what sort of responses they
can expect when they're dealing with you. So to be consistent, you'll need to be
reliable, you'll need to be fair and of course be able to manage our own mood
swings whether you're up or you're down. It really shouldn't be impacting the
guests on your tour. Six, use positive body language. Become aware of your gestures,
expressions and your tone of voice and make sure that you're coming across as
warm, welcoming, compositive. Positive body language includes examples like I'm
crossing your arms, leaning towards the group a little bit, smiling, making eye
contact. All these are things that emotionally intelligent people will do
to draw others in. As we've often heard, most of communication is nonverbal so
bring some awareness to your body language, your tone of voice and your
gestures because they're communicating a lot more than you might think
Seven, mastering your first impressions. Research continues to show that
most people will decide whether or not they like you in the first seven seconds
of meeting you. We've got to ask ourselves, are the first moments when
we're meeting people our strongest? Are we individually welcoming every single
person to our tour? Are we smiling? Do we have a firm handshake? Are the first five
minutes of speaking to your group the best five minutes of the entire tour? If
not, change it. So many tour leaders waste these precious first moments with dry
logistical talk or monotone description of what's gonna happen. Yeah we rid of
that. You need to be excited, you need to be enthusiastic but most of all, get them
excited for what is about to happen. Your guests should feel like they're gonna go
on a journey with you but this isn't any old tour and that they're so lucky to be
standing where they are. Start your tour like a rock star
taking this stage. First impressions matter. Eight, learn people's names. Ydour name
is an essential part of your identity and it feels great to hear it when used
in conversation. Likeable people will regularly use other people's names in
conversations so this is a great skill for you to use as a tour leader. If you
want some help remembering guest names or techniques or it's a skill you want
to work on, check out our other video "How to Learn People's Names on Tour". Nine, smile.
people naturally and unconsciously mirror the body language of the person
they're talking to. If you want your guests to like you and to feel good, then
smile and they will be mirroring that behavior back to you. Smiling is one of
the most effective ways to come across as more likeable as long as it's natural
smile and it's authentic. Ten, use physical contact. When you touch someone during a
conversation, Oxytocin is released which is a neurotransmitter that associates
you with feelings of trust and many other positive emotions. Now of course
you need to touch people in the right way in the right cultural context and of
course, if we do that wrong, it has the opposite effect but studies have shown
over and over that using physical contact in the right way is a great way
to be more likeable and to build stronger social connections with people.
This is a skill that you can absolutely work on. Eleven, balance passion and fun.
People are drawn towards those who are passionate but sometimes, passionate
people can be a little bit too focused or aloof or maybe sometimes too serious.
The best tour leaders balance that passion and enthusiasm with a generous
spirit. Think of that best teacher/ professor that you ever had and there's
a good chance that they were really enthusiastic about the material. There
was probably also this sense of camaraderie right? They brought you into
their world and shared it. So if you feel your tour is not delivering it, you're
not passionate about what you're sharing. Change it up, create a new tour, create a
new script, get rid of those old jokes, those old lines, shake things up a little
bit and share more of yourself in your passions with your guests. If you would
like a quick summary of all of these points, you can grab our PDFs down below
we call "The 11 Habits of Likeable Tour Leaders". Just click and it'll be all
yours completely for free, A big thanks to Travis Bradbury and his book
emotional intelligence 2.0 which is great inspiration for this video. Before
you go, in the comments below, share some of the traits of the most affable people
that you've ever met in your own life. Why don't the traits that make these
people so darn likable. Let's have a bit of a conversation down there and share
with one another. If you don't mind sharing this video with a friend or
colleague would mean the world to us. Subscribing to our channel or a quick
like. All these small gestures mean a lot to us. Thanks so much for being here
and I'll see you next time. Oh Kayla I told you if you want to be
more likeable, you need to use people's names. It's pronounced mama mama Oh
All right, let's do lunch.