An albino spellsword with freakish, abnormal eyes known colloquially as 'The White Wolf',
armed with a sardonic temperment, an acid tongue, and a penchant for becoming embroiled
in political and military conflicts several times larger than himself wanders a fantasy
world, trapped in the double-edged blessing of his own abnormally-long life initially
sustained through the use of ancillary substances.
Finding himself the hapless instrument of warlords and kings who would use his power
for their own devices, but somehow managing to mercenarily turn that power against them
for his own profit.
Sound familiar?
I've just described Michael Moorcock's titular hero: Elric of Melniboné.
I know I said my last word on the subject, but in recent weeks, I've come to realize
the only format in which to say my definitive word... is within the confines of my own show.
As most of you already know, going forward I will not be reviewing any of the future
entries in The Witcher, and if I'm being perfectly honest, I wish I hadn't reviewed the second
game, either.
In this matter, I'm standing purely on principle.
While the games are not directly derived from the novels and thus not completely plagiarized
works, Andrej Sapkowski's fantasy series most certainly is.
And both series feature the same, 100% carbon-copied protagonist.
And Sapkowski's repeated refusal to acknowledge the similarities, even after allegedly being
served with papers from Michael Moorcock's attorney, bespeaks more about the man's guilt
than any of the protagonists' self-evident similitude.
While I recognize that, as a YouTube show with a proportionately meager following, my
contributions to promulgating or fostering the undeserved profitability of this series
is comparatively minimal... the simple fact is that if even one person learned about this
series through a positive review I might have written and performed, and then went out and
grabbed a copy of the game...?
That's one more penny to the pile of ill-begotten Witcher royalties this man never fucking deserved
to begin with.
I want to make perfectly clear I bear CD Projekt no ill will: By all accounts, they've fashioned
a truly immersive, endlessly replayable saga, most of the narrative of which they actually
penned themselves.
I almost regret that they're collateral damage in this situation.
Even after that somewhat piss-poor Cyberpunk 2077 trailer, I look forward to what CD Projekt
will be able to do with a property that's merely derivative, rather than outright plagiarized.
And, make no mistake, The Witcher is plagiarized.
Yes!
We're all aware that 99.7% of all western fantasy novels are thinly-veiled rip-offs
of Tolkien or one of his disciples, your command of the blatantly fucking obvious is staggering,
we're quite impressed... but at least those authors possessed the common fucking courtesy
to change the main characters' names, abilities and backgrounds after hitting Ctrl + V!
The 'nothing is new under the sun' argument is a vapid fucking cop-out and you know it!
He has the same name, the same class, the same abilities, the same attitude, a similar
background, and confronts many of the same thematic problems!
Using comic books as an analogy: It's like if - twenty years after the fact - DC Comics
had made a character named 'The Wolverine' with retractable claws, pointy hair, a healing
factor, and chest hair like steel wool and actually tried to get the fuck away with it!
I mean, shit!
The analogy is even more apt, because both DC Comics and The Witcher video games are
both owned by fucking WARNER BROS!
Even if the story was completely different!
Even if DC's version of 'The Wolverine' worked in a grocery store and his story featured
a struggle to rise through middle fucking management... the character himself would
still be a work of naked goddamn plagiarism!
You can claim that the entire Witcher story is not plagiarized from Elric and be correct.
Despite many of the same thematic and tonal parallels unique to Elric that seem outright
copied and pasted into The Witcher... the core narrative is a totally different story.
But a plagiarized character... let alone a main protagnist... is still not only plagiarism...
but plagiarism of a uniquely profligate variety.
Enhanced further by the fact that Andrej Sapkowski has done what most plagiarists often do: In
lieu of generating his own ideas... he's turned someone else's... into a multimedia empire!
See also: Carlos Mencia.
Witcher films, Witcher comics, Witcher games, Witcher tabletop RPGs, and a buttfuckin' awful
Witcher television series...
I'm sure the breakfast cereal and the board game are just around the corner for this craven
cuntflap.
Then there's the go-to defense: Andrej Sapkowski - despite having admitted being inspired by
fantasy novels which were either outright banned or heavily censored by the Communist
Polish regime during the time The Witcher was originally written - was behind the vaunted
Iron Curtain... and thus... would be oblivious to the Elric Saga, despite its massive popularity
and immutable influence.
I'm sorry, but that defense is flimsier than The Witcher 2's ending.
Much like the waning strength of the Iron Curtain itself when The Witcher series was
first penned in 1986.
Within three years of the first novel's publication...
the Berlin wall was demolished and both Germany and Poland were free of their Russian vichy
regimes!
In global politics, a year is proportionate to a minute.
And if a ship sinks, does common logic not dictate that it was likely springing leaks
three minutes prior?
Communist control of Germany and Poland was spottier than Gorbachev's forehead.
Particularly towards the end!
There were East German METAL BANDS prior to the Berlin Wall's destruction!
So clearly they weren't running too tidy of a fuckin' Keebler Tree over there!
I gotta' believe a magazine or three... thousand...
may have possibly gotten through during the latter days of Communist Poland.
Particularly as Elric was popular enough to have been translated into every language imaginable
by the late '70s, let alone that late juncture.
You're free to disagree.
And perhaps even be right.
My opinion is far from sovereign among mortals.
But as for my part, I refuse to dignify this inferential fuckery with my further attention
or effort.
The Polish government may refuse to honor Michael Moorcock's legal remedies because
The Witcher series is now a bona fide pillar of the Polish entertainment industry, but
a misplaced sense of national pride needn't factor into my decision.
While the original Rageaholic Witcher 2 review will remain, as it's the product of my creativity,
not Mr. Sapkowski's 'creativity by proxy'... there will nevertheless be no further discussion
or reviews of any of the past or future Witcher titles on this channel purely out of principle,
and with that...
I have said my final word on the subject.
I'm RazörFist.
God - fuckin' - SPEED!