- All right, guys, so I'm here in Buffalo for the weekend.
(guitar strum)
I decided to stop by my homeboy Scott Kinmartin's place.
What's goin' on, brother man?
(whoosh)
- We had some banana beer last night.
- We did have banana beer, it was delicious!
- That was some good stuff.
It was, I'm having a good time and everything,
but I want to talk to you about something.
That's part of the reason why I'm in Buffalo, a little...
- No, I will not make out with you.
- (sighs) Shit.
All right, question two.
Every time I see you, you're on your cell phone.
- On your phone - [Scott] I see you.
- No, I see...
- I see you in that video.
- I see you on your phone, because you're always on Twitter.
You're on Facebook, and doing God only know what else.
- That is part of social media.
I do understand that.
It is a problem for a lot of people, but not me.
I can handle it.
- But see, that's where I'm going with this.
- Okay, I am on my phone...
- You're on your phone a lot!
All the time.
Like, I bet you got your phone in your pocket right now.
- Psh, no!
(text alert)
That was the stove, I swear to you!
- Yeah, okay, that was the stove.
Well listen, I found a test online.
- Okay.
- To see if you're AIDS-positive.
(laughs)
I found a test online
to see if you're addicted to your phone,
and I have it right here.
I printed this shit off.
- Oh!
- I've got five questions.
It's five questions to see if you're addicted to your phone.
- Is this gonna ruin my chances with the ladies?
- I don't think you had any chance to begin with.
Question the first.
- (laughs) Question the first, okay.
- If you can't go 24 hours without your cell phone,
you're addicted to your cell phone.
- I can do that.
No problem.
- I don't think you can.
- I can!
I've gone camping in the woods up in the Smoky Mountains,
no problem, without any reception.
- All right, well I'm taking your phone from you,
and we'll see how well that goes.
- Okay.
(Italian music)
- Chill out, dude, chill out!
- I just want to check my DMs!
- Not a good start, brother man.
- What was that all aboot?
- (laughs) 'Cause I'm Canadian!
Aboot, crazy!
Next question.
If you can't eat a meal
without taking a picture of it first,
you are addicted to your cell phone.
That's you.
- Who wants to see your plate after you eat the food?
- Your Facebook looks like a restaurant menu.
- So maybe I need a slight intervention.
- Yeah, no kidding.
Number three.
If you use your cell phone around other people,
you're addicted to your phone.
And you do this all the time.
Remember last night?
- No.
(Italian music)
- And he says, "Well, yeah,
"if you didn't look like Rosie O'Donnell!"
(laughs)
So I took this stripper home last night, and she had a dick!
A big huge man dick!
Looked like a baby's arm holdin' an apple.
Swear to God, if she had swung her hips,
she'd have taken my head clean off.
Yeah, almost got killed last night
with a big old he-she meat hammer.
Scottie!
- What?
Yeah, that's cool.
Hey, look at this.
Someone's actually using
my profile picture as theirs on Facebook.
Who does that?
- I hate you so much right now.
- Yeah, you don't remember that?
Yeah, 'cause I do.
Number four.
If you frequently find your phone
is open in your hand for no reason.
Now, this happens to be a fact.
Your phone has been in your hand through this entire video.
- I am waiting for an important email.
None of your business.
- An important email.
From who?
- For Fiesta Movement.
- (laughs) Oh, that's kind of important.
- Yeah.
- All right, number five.
And you need to pass this one,
because you're not doing so well right now, so...
You just touched my leg.
- Hey, sexual!
- If you schedule every aspect of your life in your phone.
Now, let me see your phone.
I want to see your calendar.
I'm gonna read the things that...
Give me the phone.
Wake up, brush teeth, take a shower.
Take a dump?
You schedule your morning shits?
- I like to stay regular, there is nothing wrong with that.
- That's disgusting!
Why don't you just make it natural and have it flow?
- Okay. (farts)
- Oh, fuck!
You still got gas from last night.
All banana bread beer, it's disgusting.
Does that mean you take your phone
into the bathroom with you?
Ugh!
Oh God, that's disgusting!
I'm gonna go wash my hands.
Ew!
All right, well I just had to go wash scats...
(laughs) Scats.
- (laughs) Scats?
- I just had to go wash Scott's scat off my hands,
because I was just touching his phone and that's disgusting.
- Scat for Scott.
- But, anyways, go check out Scott's channel.
I'm usually live every Wednesday for your live
Let Your Google Hangout.
- We have a hot chick, we've got other YouTubers,
and some great musicians.
- Yes.
- This guy.
♫ It's a beautiful thing ♫
- You failed...
- So is this video.
- Yeah, man, thank you. (high five)
- I failed, but were we really surprised?
How would you do on this test?
- I would probably fail too. (laughs)
I don't, I don't, I don't...
- So how about you guys?
Would you pass or fail this test as well?
Is the phone always there at your side?
- All right, anything else before we go?
- Yeah.
(phone rings)
One second.
Hey, Chuckie!
Another meat hammer?
(high-pitched electronic music)
- You mother bitch.
It stopped recording.
- You mother bitch.
- Mother bitch.
- Wait, you've had a Red Bull?
(slurps)
- I've had two Red Bulls (crazy laugh)
I can't snap.
(flailing hands)
(laughs)
Sounds like a loose vagina.
Woah, chill out, man!
Chill out!
- I just wanna check my (groans).
(laughs)