- Oh, hey. (woman laughing)
Hello. (woman laughing)
How are you doing? (woman laughing)
Being ignored sucks.
Doesn't it?
In this video, I'm gonna share
with you exactly what a man is thinking
when he ignores you,
and give you three powerful things
that you can do to ignite his attention
and help you stay grounded and confident
if that ever happens to you.
In coaching women for over ten years,
I've noticed one pattern.
That when men start to ignore women,
women will often go to this place
of forensic detective mode
where they start analyzing,
"What was it that I said right before he ignored me,
"right before he dropped off?"
And they'll start to try to dissect it
and figure it out.
Right?
It kinda looks like this.
(dramatic music) Subject was last spotted
outside their home a few days ago, 5:43 p.m.
Let's check out the crime scene.
(camera shutter clicking)
Ah, here we go.
We've got a cell phone, here.
Okay.
Let's go ahead and see what this says.
So, you pull out the evidence
and you go to your texts,
and you try to figure out,
what was it that you said
that exactly turned him off,
caused him to pull away,
because clearly it must've been something that you said.
Looks like this.
(notification dinging) He texts you and says:
Just saw the new Will Ferrell movie, The House.
So funny, have you seen it?
And you say, (notification bleeping)
- [Woman] No, I'm not a huge Will Ferrell fan.
(notification dinging) - [Mat] He says: What?
He's so funny.
Have you seen Taladega Nights?
And you say, (notification bleeping)
- [Woman] No, haven't seen that one either.
But I heard it was good.
(notification dinging) - [Mat] He says:
Oh, you're missing out.
We should watch it sometime.
And you say, (notification bleeping)
- [Woman] Cool; I'm up for that.
- And then, it's been a few days,
or even a week or longer
that you've heard from him.
And your paradigm is gonna try to convince you
that you did something wrong.
Your paradigm is gonna try to tell you,
"Oh, you shouldn't have texted that,"
or "You weren't funny enough,"
or "Your weren't interesting enough."
You weren't enough in some way.
And that's what caused him to pull away.
That's what's causing him to not reach
back out to you.
That it's some flaw in you.
And what I want to tell you,
loud and clear, in this message,
and I really hope that you get this,
down to your bones,
I hope you let it sink in
through your conscious mind,
and into your subconscious mind,
and into your whole beingness:
That it is really hard
to screw up the right thing.
It is hard to screw up the right thing.
In fact, let me just put this on the screen.
Alex, put this up on the screen for me, buddy.
It is hard to screw up the right thing.
Meaning, when it's the right guy,
it's gonna flow, it's gonna feel easy,
he's going to pursue you,
he's going to engage the interaction.
What is a man thinking when he is ignoring you?
Here's what's going on:
When a guy is ignoring you,
his level of interest just wasn't that high to begin with.
In fact, he's not thinking about you
when he's ignoring you.
Chances are, this is what he's not thinking, okay,
let me tell you, wonder what he's not thinking.
He's not thinking this,
"Man, I am so in love with this woman.
"I am so into her.
"She is awesome in every way.
"She is sexy, she is beautiful, she is amazing,
"(sighs) but you know what? (sighs)
"She doesn't like Will Ferrell.
(groaning) "Dang it!
"I can't believe that she hasn't seen The House.
"I cannot believe she hasn't seen Talladega Nights.
"She doesn't like Will Ferrell, man."
That's what he's not doing, okay?
I'm gonna give it to you straight.
When a man is ignoring you,
he's not thinking about you
because his level of interest just isn't high enough,
he's just not that into you.
And I know that's harsh,
but it's actually an empowered place
to be when you can see something
for what it really is.
He's not thinking about you.
What he is thinking about is,
he's thinking about his life,
he's thinking about work,
he's thinking about his friends.
Chances are, he's texting other women,
because if you're not exclusive with him,
that's, men are texting other women,
dating other women.
So, let me remind you:
You didn't do anything wrong.
You didn't screw it up,
and nothing is wrong with you.
We are gonna have certain degrees of interest
with people who we're connected to,
which means that,
stop beating yourself up,
stop trying to be different yourself,
and start looking for a different guy.
Because I'm gonna give you, right now,
three things that you can do.
To, number one, ignite his interest,
if he is the right guy,
and number two, help you feel more grounded and confident
so if someone is ignoring you,
or pulling away,
it doesn't drive on your attention
and pull all your focus back
to that guy, or sink your self esteem,
thinking that there's something wrong with you.
Number one is:
Reminding yourself that,
with the right guy, it's gonna feel easy.
I can't tell you how many clients I've had,
come through Manifest Your Man,
my coaching program,
where they meet guys who pull away,
they meet guys who are vanishers,
they meet guys who won't plan.
It just feels like this tug-o-war,
this constant state of uncertainty.
And then, they shift what they're doing,
they shift their vibration,
they shift what they're, how they're thinking,
how they're using their mind,
and then, they meet a guy
who is totally into them
and here, the response is always like this,
"Oh, my gosh, this feels so easy.
"It feels like it should feel,
"where it's just natural,
"where we're texting one another,
"there's no games,
"he's pursuing me,
"he's planning in advance,
"he's prioritizing me."
So, let me tell you:
When it's the right guy,
it's gonna have this natural flow and ease to it.
So, what does that mean?
If it doesn't have a natural flow and ease to it,
chances are, it's not the right guy.
And so, you can clear the way,
let him go, because you're making room
for the right guy to come into your life.
Now, to do this, is challenging.
I'm not saying it's easy.
Because to do this you have to believe,
down to your bones, that love is in store for you,
that your destiny is to be
in a deep, loving relationship that you want.
Whatever kind of relationship you want,
you must believe it down in the core of your mind,
and that's often where,
it's often one of the most difficult things
that we can do.
So, to serve you, I've actually created
an affirmation process.
It's a 21-day love affirmation process.
It's a free, like, believe-in-love-again toolkit,
if you will. And I'm gonna link it up, right here.
So, it's a complimentary gift from me to you
to help fuel the belief that you have
that you are going to find love.
So, I'll link it up in the video
and also below. You can grab that at the end of the video
and it's gonna serve you in empowering your belief.
Strategy number two is to match his level of investment.
Now, there's a human dynamic.
There's a human influence trigger that we all have,
that when someone starts chasing you,
or when someone starts pushing you,
the natural feeling is to pull away.
Well, the reverse happens as well.
If someone starts to pull away,
our natural inclination is to start chasing them.
And the reason why is because we are all triggered
by an influence principle called scarcity,
in that we want what we can't have.
So, as he pulls away, here's a couple of things
to keep in mind.
As he starts to pull away, okay,
you want to match his level of investment.
The tendency is going to be to overinvest.
The tendency is going to be
to start double and triple-texting him,
or calling him, or chasing him.
You don't want to do that.
You want to match his level of investment.
If he pulls back, stops calling,
stops texting,
you pull back, stop calling, and stop texting,
and that does a couple of things.
Number one: As you reduce your level of investment,
subconsciously, in your mind,
your subconscious will believe,
"Oh, this is less important to me."
And so, it's actually gonna reduce your level of desire,
the amount of time you spend focusing on him,
the amount of,
where we run in our minds,
"What happened, what did I do,"
all of that, is gonna reduce and calm your mind, okay?
Because when we start chasing,
and when we start investing in somebody,
you're pouring more energy in,
your mind automatically thinks, "Wow,
"this is important to me."
And when he pulls away,
and he becomes scarce,
we want what we can't have,
so there's another trigger that happens
where we actually feel more desire
for the person who's pulled away.
So, with your awareness,
you can become clear, "Oh, wow,
"I might not like him as much
"as my desire or attraction is right now
"because it might just be that I want
"what I can't have, and I want that."
And as soon as you have it,
then your attraction dials down a little bit.
So, what's great about this
is you can actually keep a realistic perspective
of how interested in him you really are
without being sucked in by this scarcity trigger
of attraction that we all have.
And, here's what's beautiful
about you matching his level of investment:
Because as you become more scarce
then you will actually trigger
his attraction trigger for scarcity;
he wants what he can't have, as well.
So, if he does have a level of interest for you,
you're gonna find out what it really is.
Because if maybe he's just been distracted,
as you become more scarce in his life,
he's gonna say, "Hey, where did this texting go?
"Where did all this attention go?"
And his natural interest for you is going to increase
and he's gonna start pursuing you.
In other words, this isn't about playing games,
but this is about being congruent
with the level of interest
and the level of investment
the person you're interacting has with you,
and you matching that.
And this brings me to number three.
As you're matching his level of investment,
or reducing your level of investment to match his,
you want to focus forward.
You want to focus on your own life.
You want to focus on the opportunities
that are ahead of you.
You want to focus on you living your amazing life.
And here's why.
As you put focus and attention on him,
and what's missing in your life,
naturally, what happens for us,
is we feel discouraged,
we start to feel depressed,
we start to look for what's missing in us,
and it drags our emotional state down.
But if you focus forward,
if you focus on the opportunities you have
in your life, if you focus on all the things
that are going right,
all the amazing qualities that you have in yourself,
you open yourself up to better opportunities.
Because here's the deal:
If this guy isn't interested in you,
there is a guy who is interested in you.
There is a guy who wants to prioritize you.
And so, when you do these three things,
when you focus on, and believing
that the right thing is gonna be easy,
and that that's out there for you,
when you match his level of investment,
and when you focus forward,
you open yourself up for the right,
amazing guy into your life,
who's gonna prioritize you.
He's gonna pour into you.
It's gonna be easy.
He's gonna plan things with you.
And here's the deal.
You deserve that level of a guy.
You deserve that level of relationship
because you are amazing,
you are awesome,
and as you own it, you will call it in.
So, here's my question for you:
When someone pulls away,
or when someone's ignoring you,
what strategy do you implement
to maintain your level of peace of mind,
your level of confidence?
Go ahead and post that in the comments section, below.
I love checking out your comments.
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Wishing you an amazing day. (gentle music)
And I'll see you soon. (upbeat music)