Hi, there. Mat Shaffer here,
your empowerment, connection, and relationship coach.
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That being said, I have a really great topic,
I'm really excited to talk about today,
and I hope you watch it all the way to the end.
I always like to save some of my best little juicy tidbits
for the very end of the video.
Make sure you watch this one all the way through,
and I'll be sure to give you some good value at the end.
I promise.
Today, what I really want to explore, it's a comment that I got,
I'm always asking my fans or my audience, people on Facebook and on YouTube
and all the different social media channels,
"What else would you like to hear me speak into?
What aspects of relationship
would you like me to explore from a masculine perspective?"
I got a great one from one of our followers here who said,
"When should you take a platonic relationship with a man
to the next level?"
I thought about that, that's interesting.
When should you do it?
I don't think that saying,
asking when you should do it is the right question.
I think why you're doing it is the first and most important question.
Why do you want to take your platonic friendship
to another level? Is it what you want?
Is it what he wants, or is it something that you both want?
Because here's the thing, I find a lot of times,
when there's a platonic relationship, a friendship between a man and a woman,
it's not always both people that we usually,
it's just one person or the other person
that is actually secretly in love with the other
and wishes that things were at another level.
It's usually either the guy who was in the friendzone,
who's pining away for the girl.
Or the girl has been harboring feelings for her best friend
and she really wants it to move ahead.
Either way, it can be a little scary, so why do you want this?
Why do you think this is healthy
for you to take this relationship to the next level?
Really ask yourself. If you're that person, ladies,
if you're the one that wants to take
a platonic relationship with a man to the next level,
or if you know that he wants more from you
and you're considering taking a shot giving him a shot,
ask yourself why? Is it worth risking the friendship?
If you've built a really good relationship with a man,
a really good friendship with a man and you know he's attracted to you
and he might be open to you guys taking things to another level,
he really wants that from you,
ask yourself, if you do that, is it going to sabotage the friendship?
Is any chance that you guys could hook up one night
and still be friends?
Or is there a possibility
for you to be in a long-term relationship with this person?
It's very important to really know what you're getting yourself into
because it could cost you anything.
It goes back to that, when Harry Met Sally quote
where Billy Crystal's like,
"I don't think men and women can ever be friends
because sex always gets in the way."
I personally do not believe that.
I have many dear female friends in my life,
many of whom I've never had the slightest inclination
to be in a physical relationship with.
I think men and women absolutely can be friends,
but I think that once you cross that barrier
and you actually start being physical with somebody
who you fostered a friendship with,
it's very difficult to put the toothpaste back in the tube.
Just know when you're looking at your why,
around why you're considering
taking things with a male friend to another level,
that you may not be able to get that friendship back
in the same way,
that it might not ever be able to come back
the way that it used to be.
Just know that there may be a price and ask yourself,
are you doing it because you're lonely?
Are you doing it because you're horny? [chuckles]
Are you doing it because you see him as a potential long-term relationship?
Or are you doing it just because you think it will make him happy
and it's something that he wants?
Really look at your underlying why.
If that why isn't in your best interest, if you're just doing it for him
or you're feeling pressured to do it from him,
then really, instead of giving into that, maybe what you really need to do
is just have a vulnerable conversation with them
about what you've been experiencing,
that you feel like he might be getting attracted to you.
Maybe it's in your best interest if you take a little time apart,
and you just get to lovingly and powerfully express your boundaries
of the parameters of what you want that relationship to look like.
I don't think it's so much about when is the right time
for you to take your platonic relationship with a man to the next level,
as much as it is really looking at why you're doing it
and if it's the right decision, if that makes sense.
I hope this helped you out.
I hope that I answered your question
in a way that gets you thinking about things
and maybe looking at things in a different way.
I'd love to hear any comments from you guys
on what that looks like for you in relationship,
if you've taken platonic relationships to another level,
to a physical level? If so, what was the result?
Did you get married? Did you find your soulmate?
Did it blow up a friendship?
I'd love to hear from you guys on what your outcomes were in that,
because I know that that's a bit of a loaded situation.
Hope you have a wonderful day.
If you haven't taken it, if you haven't done it yet,
please subscribe to my channel, and I will see you next time.
Bye-Bye.