Hey Vsauce, Michael here today with a very special video.
I am joined today via Skype with two members of Underbelly.
They're in New Jersey; I'm in New York.
We're bridging the Hudson with knowledge and information.
Today they're going to school me on Pokémon.
I'm Jiggly Puff. My name's Justin.
This is Pollywhirl, but my name is Shawn.
Right here I put together if you guys remember the Pokedex
from the original anime and the videogame.
I came together and wrote the grimmest,
scariest Pokedex entries I could find.
The Pokémon, or Pocket Monsters,
they're basically these animals that you capture with the Pokeballs
and you keep them on you. That's why they're called Pocket Monsters.
Yeah, exactly, except doesn't Pocket Monster
already sound way too inappropriate for children?
- That's pretty darn scary. - So right off the bat,
they're starting on a foundation of terror and inappropriateness.
Hey Michael, is that a monster in your pocket,
or are you just happy to see us?
- It's actually both. - Oh!
But anyway, this is Hypno.
It carries a pendulum-like device.
There once was an incident in which it took away a child it hypnotized.
I'm really glad I didn't watch this show so much as a kid.
- I'd be more mess up than I am now. - Yeah, all this stuff is in the game.
Well, do we know what happened to the kid,
or is it just this mysterious thing in the Pokedex?
I'm going to say the child was eaten. This one's even worse.
It's Haunter. By licking, it saps the victim's life.
It causes shaking that won't stop until the victim's demise.
I had a girlfriend like that once.
Drifloon, which is basically a giant hot air balloon kind of guy
if that makes sense.
It tugs on the hands of children to steal them away.
However, it gets pulled around instead.
So this Pokémon which looks like a balloon, like a child's balloon,
parents think that the children are just playing with a balloon,
but actually this Pokémon's trying to steal them away,
kid nap the child.
But they're so light weight, they're just getting pulled around like a balloon.
- Oh. - Yeah.
These are some of the scariest things. I don't even know if I can sleep tonight.
Spoink bounces around on its tail.
The shock of its bouncing makes its heart pump.
As a result this Pokémon cannot afford to stop bouncing.
If it stops, its heart will stop.
So it's like Tigger with a heart condition?
I like that. Well, it's really nice. Just keep moving kids.
Oh yeah, right. It's a lesson in good exercise habits.
- That's true. - Did you guys see this thing
about how Pikachu, over the years, has lost weight and gotten more fit?
Yeah, they thinned him up. Kind of like Garfield
when he started out really big and then they kept drawing him smaller.
Even though he was this giant fat cat, he really wasn't.
Kabutops, which is kind of like this guy with big claws.
With sharps claws, this ferocious ancient Pokemon
rips apart prey and sucks their body fluids.
Sucks their body fluids?
Their body fluids, not bodily—
- Oh, I see what you did there. - So not just blood but everything?
- Everything. - Yeah.
Even some of those mysterious fluids
that even I can't explain some mornings? - Absolutely.
There's a Pokémon called Cubone. It basically has a skull on its head.
Cubone wears the skull of its deceased mother.
Its cries echo inside the skull
and come out as a sad melody.
And it's also fashionable.
That's true.
OK, guys, tell me where can I find out more about Pokémon?
If you want to find out more about Pokémon, we have a Pokémon public service announcement
on our channel right now,
and we actually went into the studio— Michael was there.
We brought in the voice actor who played Professor Oak on the anime
to voice our Pokémon public service announcement
on tall grass, the dangers of going into tall grass.
It's on our channel right now.
And we've got all sorts of other things out there in terms of video games.
It's Sonic, we're talking about Metal Gear,
we're talking about 3D movies.
I want to stop you there. Speaking of 3D movies,
look what I've got here.
It is a pack of Jaws 3D trading cards from 1983.
- Sweet. - And you know what's in here?
- No. - Chewing gum. I'm going to eat it right now.
- Do you think you should— - No, no.
This video is supposed to be grim, not a vomitfest.
This gum is older than me.
- Let me see the cards. - OK.
Here's the gum. I'm going to eat it.
Sweet.
- Wait. Did you just eat it? - Yeah.
- It's from like 1985. - I put something in my mouth
that's older than me. 1983.
- Oh. 19—oh.
That should be your new show motto.
"We put things in out mouth that are older than us."
So as the guys put their masks back on,
I'm going to have a little bit of coffee from my Sun Your Buns mug
and subscribe to Vsauce, subscribe to Underbelly
for more knowledge, and as always, thanks for watching.
So Justin, is that gum holding together? Is it just normal gum?
I'm going to go to the hospital in like ten minutes.
- Yeah. - Oh, one piece dropped off.
No.
It tastes like school chalk.