-Half of all adults in the US have now received
at least one shot of the COVID-19 vaccine,
and as of today, all adults are eligible,
and as a result, even Republicans are admitting
they're having a hard time criticizing President Biden.
For more on this, it's time for A Closer Look.
♪♪
As horrific and nightmarish as the pandemic has been --
and it is by no means over,
especially throughout the rest of the world --
we are now hitting some genuinely exciting milestones.
-The race to vaccinate hitting two major milestones today.
The CDC reports that 50% of all adults
have received at least one vaccine dose,
and 25% of all Americans are now fully vaccinated.
-Starting today, every adult across the nation
is eligible to get a COVID shot.
-When I think back to the lowest points
of this hellish year, there were times when it was
impossible to imagine the progress we're seeing now.
There were times when I honestly thought there was a chance
I'd be locked in the captain's quarters
talking to a painting for the rest of my life,
urinating into jars, growing a long, scraggly beard,
and rolling my eyes at dumb, maritime-themed puns.
Thankfully, thankfully, that ship has sailed. I'm sorry.
Half of adults have now gotten at least one shot
and all adults in the US are eligible.
It's a dramatic achievement worthy of celebration,
especially considering where we were just a few months ago.
Before the previous president left office,
the vaccine rollout was in chaos.
His administration had passed on the opportunity
to buy more vaccine,
and they'd made all kinds of wild
and obviously insane promises,
like the time Trump's Chief of Staff
said they'd have 100 million doses
by October and enough vaccine for every American by January.
-We use all of our regulatory tools to bring vaccine available
for the entire American population by January.
-You know, in terms of the number of vials,
what we're shooting for is to try to make sure
that we have 100 million doses in that first tranche,
and so those -- that 100 million doses
certainly is the benchmark that we've set.
From there, there would be a second tranche
that would get us up to the 300 million plus doses.
That timeline for the 300 million is set
as a January timeline, in terms of what we're looking at.
-He's so cagey.
He's talking about vaccine distribution
like he's telling a loan shark when he can expect his money.
[ Nervously ] Yeah, I'm going to get you your money.
I got a job now and I stopped gambling.
No more betting on the ponies for me.
No, siree.
When can I have it buy? Uhh...
Let's see, the Kentucky Derby is the first Saturday in May,
so the first Sunday in May?
[ Normally ] And yes, when Biden took office and only promised
100 hundred million shots in the first 100 days,
that was clearly a lowball number,
but it made sense to set lower expectations after the last guys
overpromised on everything every time they opened their mouths.
Not only do we think we will have
300 hundred million vaccines by January,
but we are now closer than ever to getting
every American the nootropic pill, NZT-48,
also known as the "Limitless" pill,
taken by Bradley Cooper in the film "Limitless".
And as a reminder, this is a pill that will allow us
to use our whole brain with no side effects.
At least I think that's the case, as I will admit
I only watched the first tranche of that movie.
Anyway, that obviously all turned out to be [bleep].
The Trump administration had no interest
in actually overseeing an effective vaccine rollout,
so they just passed it off to the states
and it was, initially, a disaster.
Biden, meanwhile, secured deals to buy more vaccine,
brokered deals between rivals to produce more vaccine,
and quickly ramped up a plan to use FEMA
to set up federally-run mass vaccination sites
across the country, which for some reason, Trump failed to do.
Maybe because he didn't know what FEMA stood for
and was too embarrassed to ask.
Sir, we should coordinate between HHS and FEMA.
[ Imitating Trump ] Right, right, right.
The Federal...Elegant...
Modeling Agency, is that right?
So the models, they would administer the vaccines --
and only 10s, right?
Nobody's going to roll up their sleeve for a 7.
I could tell you that.
[ Normally ] But as encouraging as the vaccine rollout has been
here in the US, it's been much less encouraging throughout
the rest of the world, thanks in large part
to vaccine hoarding by wealthy countries.
Global COVID cases just hit a new weekly record,
making this the worst week worldwide
since the start of the pandemic.
And that's why we need a more just and equitable distribution
of vaccines to developing nations.
So far, high-income countries
already own more than half of all global doses purchased,
and it's estimated that there will not be enough vaccine doses
to cover the world's population
until at least 2023.
Meanwhile, the US could have 300 hundred million
extra vaccine doses by the end of July.
Let's send those extra vaccines to countries that need them.
We certainly don't need them here.
As a country, we don't do well with excess.
We'll start having raves
where Wall Street bros and social media influencers
pass vials of Pfizer in bathrooms
while dancing poorly to club music.
♪ Shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots ♪
Hey man. [ Laughs ]
Hey man, you want a hit of this uncut Pfizer?
You'll have a sore arm for a few days,
but then you'll be [stammers] sky high.
I was thrown by the shots. It was in the script,
but I still forgot what it would sound like.
♪ Shots, shots, shots, shots, shots, shots ♪
Now it's coming back.
Ah. It's like sense memory, you know?
I was like, "What is that jarring sound?"
And then I'm like, "Oh, right."
Da club.
Also, it's in our own interest to share our vaccines as well.
If we don't slow down the spread of the virus around the world,
then more variants will emerge,
and we can't just stop them from coming here
by increasing the US in a protective bubble like
we're in some Stephen King novel or The Simpsons movie.
Almost identical plots. Crazy, but it's true.
Nonetheless, there's hope on the vaccine front.
So much so that Biden's approval numbers in a recent poll
are as high as 59%,
with only 39% saying they disapprove.
And now, as a result of Biden's early popularity,
a weird thing is happening,
which is Republicans are basically admitting
they don't know how to criticize it.
After four years of a cruel, unpopular, crazy person
who never won the popular vote
and never cracked 50% job approval
or a 50-degree angle on his spine,
Republicans can't quite figure out how to attack a president
who is well-liked and his policies are popular.
John Thune, the #2 Senate Republican,
said, "I don't think sometimes our messaging
is as sharp as it should be, because a lot of the things
they're doing are things that are popular --
when you're spending money, you're popular."
He added of Biden, "His tone is moderate
and he's an affable person,
he's a likable individual,
and a lot of us know him, have relationships with him,
and it's probably harder to attack someone
who is relatable and likable."
Relatable, likable, and doing popular things --
what is he, some kind of sorcerer?
How does he do it?
They're watching Biden like a bunch of prehistoric apes
watching man make the first stone tools.
"Well, this isn't going to be fair now."
Remember, Republicans have only won
the presidential popular vote once in the last 32 years.
They're used to being unpopular and just having the edge
because of our unfair electoral system.
They're genuinely befuddled by a president
who's likable, doing popular stuff,
even if it's obvious to the rest of us.
Republicans are so desperate to criticize Biden,
their only move is to call him a puppet.
Yesterday, Fox News interviewed GOP Congressman Devin Nunes,
who, speaking of puppets, looks like his eyes
were hastily sewn onto his face. Remember that guy?
He always looks like the claw machine dropped his
Beanie Baby at the last second.
Nunes suggested that there was actually
some secret group of puppet masters
pulling the strings behind Biden.
-The question is, is we don't see a lot of Biden every day.
I don't know, you know -- and of course,
nobody's really calling him out
on, you know, what is his schedule?
What is he actually doing?
I think a lot of us wonder.
And we didn't even see him in the campaign.
So, you know, somebody clearly is behind the scenes
controlling the -- building these narratives out,
and they they put their people out, and their mouthpieces.
-It's true. But you never heard Trump speak
or read one of his tweets and thought,
"Who's making him say that?"
But come on, Biden was literally
just in the Rose Garden for press conference
with the Prime Minister of Japan on Friday.
I know you guys only go on "Fox News",
but do you also only watch "Fox News"?
I'm guessing anytime Biden gives a speech,
Fox throws to some emergency standby episode
of Jeanine Pirro's short-lived wine-tasting show, Jeanine Pinot.
[ Imitating Pirro ] Now, the first thing we always do
is inhale the bouquet.
[ Sniffs ] Smells like wine to me!
Which means we're on to step two --
downing it in one big-ass gulp.
And to answer your question, no, you cannot have my keys.
[ Normally ] Also, you really have questions about what
Joe Biden does all day?
Say what you want about the guy,
but he has that energy of a grandpa
who insists on getting up at 4:00 AM
to go for his daily power walk
on the side of the highway.
"Grandpa, just stay in the cul de sac."
[ Loudly ] I like to dodge the cars. It keeps me in shape.
Give me my three-pounders!
[ Normally ] Trump, meanwhile, spent so little time
in the Oval Office, they could have rented it out on Airbnb --
which, by the way, would have been a great early 2000s comedy
starring Owen Wilson and Vince Vaughn.
[ Imitating Wilson ] Oh jeez, that's a bust
of Abraham Lincoln? I thought that was an ashtray.
[ Imitating Vaughn ] Buddy, buddy, buddy.
We got to get out of here, buddy.
I just hooked up with the Secretary of State
and now she won't leave me alone.
We got to go, buddy.
[ Normally ] Similarly, Texas Senator John Cornyn
suggested last week that Biden was perhaps being controlled
by a secret group of leftists
when he quoted a political article
about Biden's communications strategy and added this --
"Invites the question: is he really in charge?"
On Sunday, Cornyn was asked
about that tweet and blamed Twitter.
-My question, I guess, is Senator Cornyn,
is that helpful to be sending out a tweet questioning
the -- President Biden's mental faculties?
-Well, Chris, thank you for the question,
because I think there's been a lot of confusion
in the Twitterverse about that.
That actually was a quote from a "Politico" story
that I pasted into a tweet,
and then I simply asked a question.
-Man, I never want to hear a man your age
say the word "Twitterverse."
It's like watching your dad twerk.
"Dad, knock it off. You're getting loose change everywhere."
That's how at a loss these guys are to criticize Biden.
And by the way, that's not to say
there aren't things to criticize.
There absolutely are. For example, last week
Biden announced and quickly walked back his decision
to break a campaign pledge and keep in place
the historically low cap on refugee admissions
set by the Trump administration rather than lift it
as he promised during the election.
The Biden administration tried to reverse
that announcement after progressives
and refugee advocates were rightfully outraged.
Today, NBC News has learned the Biden administration
intends to keep the cap for refugee admissions
at 15,000 -- this according to a senior administration official.
It is a historically low level set by the previous
Trump administration.
-The Biden administration is now reversing course
on its announcement that it would keep the refugee cap
of 15,000 set by the Trump administration,
after facing fierce backlash for some progressive Democrats.
-On Twitter, Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez
condemned the decision, saying, quote,
"It's completely and utterly unacceptable.
Biden promised to welcome immigrants
and people voted for him based on that promise.
Upholding the xenophobic and racist policies
of the Trump administration,
including the historically low + plummeted refugee cap
is flat out wrong. Keep your promise."
-Pramila Jayapal, a House member who's the leader
of the Progressive Caucus, saying, quote,
"It is simply unacceptable and unconscionable
that the Biden administration is not immediately repealing
Donald Trump's harmful, xenophobic, and racist
refugee cap that cruelly restricts refugee admissions
to a historically low level."
-Sources say that President Biden has resisted
raising the Trump-era cap on refugees
because of bad political optics.
-Oh, so you were worried about optics?
What's worse in terms of optics?
Breaking a campaign promise to lift a cruel
and historically low refugee cap set by racist predecessor,
or tripping upwards on the stairs three times?
And again, the best part of the three-trip walk up --
the salute at the end to save it.
Look, we all trip, it's fine.
It's like when you eat [bleep] an icy sidewalk
then give everyone a thumbs up.
As for the optics, Republicans are never, ever going to
give you credit for anything, so stop chasing it.
Republicans are like an emotionally distant dad,
from the '50s, who sends you to boarding school
where you could get straight "A"s,
But if you're 5 minutes late for dinner,
he'll say something cutting without looking up
from his paper like "You call yourself an Exeter man?"
Voters were craving competent governments
after four years of cruelty, racism, and neglect,
and now they're rewarding Biden for it in the polls.
The left absolutely must keep pushing him on issues
like refugee admissions and global vaccine distribution,
because Biden is clearly willing to react
to pressure from progressives.
As for Republicans, all they seem capable of doing
is spending their time whining in...
-The Twitterverse.
This has been A Closer Look.
♪♪
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