Even though IT's Pennywise brags about being everything you're afraid of, there are plenty
of clowns who may even be scarier than the extra-dimensional terror monster.
And we're not talking about those kinda-creepy clowns from Pee-Wee's Big Adventure, or even
the Insane Clown Posse.
There are some very real reasons to develop a serious case of Bozophobia; here are just
a few.
Sweet Tooth
Needles Kane, better known to gamers as Sweet Tooth, is a serial psycho clown who drives
a well-armed ice cream truck in an apocalyptic demolition derby.
He's been driving that terrible truck since the first Twisted Metal game in 1995, and
he's only gotten creepier since.
Over the course of the original Twisted Metal series, he evolved from a standard psycho
clown with green hair to a flaming, cursed monster who's forced to carry the fires of
hell around with him.
Sure, the fires of hell are pretty scary, but the 2012 Twisted Metal reboot made the
clown even creepier, making him a guy who tries to slay his entire family after going
insane with boredom.
Sweet Tooth spends years trying to find his daughter, who escaped the slaying spree, so
he can finish what he started.
It's just video game fun that causes other people to get slayed along the way.
The Joker
He's a force of pure chaos, and Batman's greatest enemy.
The Joker has had various origin stories over the years and they tend to involve falling
into a vat of chemicals while trying to escape Batman, but who he was before that is up in
the air.
In his original 1951 origin, he was already a villain known as the Red Hood. 1988's The
KillingJoke graphic novel elaborated on this story, making him an aspiring comedian who
had only turned to crime to support his pregnant wife.
But even within that book, this sympathetic backstory is called into question, with the
Joker saying that he prefers his past to be "multiple choice."
For every new Joker, there's a new origin story.
The lack of a clear identity is what the Joker is all about: He's dedicated to the idea that
the world makes no sense, and will merk, maim, and mutilate anyone who crosses his
path to illustrate that there are no reasons.
He's not just a mad clown, he's a clown that embodies madness.
"Haha."
Twisty
Few clowns have ever been as visually frightening as Twisty, the deranged psycho featured in
Freak Show, the fourth season of American Horror Story.
Creator Ryan Murphy has even said that members of the crew would leave during Twisty's scenes
because he was just so frightening.
Once a circus clown who loved to entertain children, Twisty's career was ruined by false
rumors of pedophilia.
He failed at offing himself with a shotgun, but succeeded in blowing off his lower jaw,
thus the half-mask with the terrifying smile.
What's underneath it is even more horrific.
Leaving reality entirely behind, Twisty begins kidnapping children in a supposed effort to
save them from their oppressive parents.
He's convinced children still love him and long to be entertained by his antics, even
as every child who sees him screams and runs away.
Maybe that horrifying mask was a bad choice.
Madcap
The best thing about a psycho clown is that you can usually slay it, but that's not the
case with Madcap, Marvel's clowniest supervillain.
He first appeared in Captain America #307 as a nemesis to the all-American hero and
his pal Nomad, but he doesn't seem to care much about superheroes at all, until they
get in the way of his goal of spreading chaos.
Madcap has two superpowers.
First, he can't be hurt; any injury he suffers heals almost instantly, and if
he dies, he comes back to life.
Second, he can make other people behave irrationally by making eye contact with them, making ordinary
citizens put themselves in danger, by dancing through traffic or even leaping off of buildings.
A clown who will slay you is scary, but a clown who cuts off his own fingers just for
fun is even scarier.
The Poltergeist clown
1982's Poltergeist is one of the all-time greatest haunted house movies.
And like most standard haunted houses, a lot of the horror early in the film comes from
inanimate objects moving on their own.
So when young Robbie notices late at night that a clown doll that was sitting in a chair
by his bed has suddenly disappeared, that's already scary.
And then things get really bad.
The 2015 Poltergeist remake overdoes its attempt to one-up this scene, with multiple clown
dolls in a much darker room, but nothing in that film measures up to the scares of the
original.
Violator
Few clowns are actually from hell, but the Violator is a straight-up demon.
He's the main antagonist in Todd McFarlane's Spawn comics, as well as the 1997 Spawn movie.
"Every time somebody farts a demon gets their wings.
Oops!
Twins."
His entire purpose is to mess with Spawn, who was given his powers by the forces of
Hell.
Since those powers will eventually run out and force Spawn's return to hell for all eternity,
the role of Violator is not just to tempt and corrupt Spawn into doing evil, it's to
manipulate him into using his powers recklessly.
Violator isn't just a clown — he's here to shepherd a soul toward eternal damnation,
and he does it with a grin.
Clown
Perhaps no clown ever created is as terrifying as the creature at the center of Clown, an
ancient demon that devours children.
Clown takes over anyone who puts on the cursed clown costume, which is made from Clown's
own skin and hair.
In the film, this happens to Kent, a regular dad who's just trying to provide last-minute
entertainment at his son's birthday party.
Once he puts on the suit, he begins transforming into an inhuman, kid-chomping monster.
At first, the horror of Clown comes from Kent's loss of control as the demon takes over.
But by the end of the film, there's no saving him, and the horror comes from the rampaging
monster clown that he's become.
You can be sure of one thing: this is the scariest clown in movie history.
And there's never been a better advertisement for Chuck E. Cheese.
"Cannonball!"
"Gross, somebody peed in here."
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