All right, we're back with Trevor Noah.
And so congratulations, you were named--
People Magazine has a list of different kinds of sexy
and you were sexiest, 34.
Yes.
It's a very specific sexy.
[APPLAUSE]
A very, very specific sexy, but I take it.
Very specific at an age.
I want to look like I was president for two terms.
[LAUGHTER]
That's what I want, that kind of aging.
I see.
It's just gray hair, that's all it is.
He looks good since he hasn't been president.
He has.
He's unaged.
Yeah, after he stopped being president,
it's amazing that the life comes back to you.
It truly, truly is.
No, genuinely.
I said this when I met President Obama.
Obviously I interviewed him when he was in office--
like right at the end.
And then I saw him a few months later,
and I was like, where were you hiding this?
You know, and he's just got this thing.
He's like, well, you know, Trevor,
when you're not fighting Fox News every day,
you know, it comes back.
You know, it comes back.
And he just had this thing and his hair has gotten darker.
[APPLAUSE]
Yeah, no, he's a happy guy now.
And Michelle's happy too.
I think they're both happy.
Yeah, they're living a great life.
OK, so you're single.
Yes, I am.
You're single.
[CHEERING]
So we're going to play a game.
It's called Who Would You Rather.
We're going to show you some people
and we're going to end up with the person that's best for you.
OK.
OK?
You have to be honest here.
I will be completely honest.
Give us your thoughts.
OK, let's see the first two.
Oh, Rihanna, are you kidding me?
We have the exact same birthday.
And what is that?
February 20th.
Yeah, so then I would never forget her birthday.
That's an easy relationship.
Yeah.
Does that mean you're Aquarius?
Or you're?
Pisces.
Pisces, OK.
Rihanna, Tiffany.
Rihanna, Tiffany Haddish.
This is hard.
I would switch to Tiffany Haddish now.
Really?
Yeah, you know why?
Because like Rihanna, after a while I get bored of the fact
that everyone's like, it's Rihanna, it's Rihanna,
who's that?
Like you know, I want that relationship to be more equal.
That's right.
Like Rihanna, I would be a fan of hers as well
in the relationship, which in not a healthy relationship.
No, it has to be balanced.
I'm just going to wake up every morning
to be like, oh my God, it's Rihanna.
She's like, we've been dating for three years.
Yeah, but still.
So yeah, Tiffany Haddish.
All right.
She's fun, she's funny, she's beautiful.
I go with her.
Now we've got a Kardashian for you.
Oh.
OK, dirty secret, I would have always loved to date
a Kardashian just for like a week.
That's how long they last.
That's actually the average.
Just to be in that world.
I want to be on the show.
I want to be in the game.
I want to be a Kardashian just for a little bit.
You know what?
So I'll switch to Khloé.
I'll go Khloé Kardashian.
OK, good.
I'm friendly with them.
If you would like to be on the show,
or would like to hang out with them, I can arrange that.
You're going to hook me up with a Kardashian?
If you'd like that.
Wow.
I bet they would be thrilled.
I mean, look at you.
You're just doing this right now, matchmaking?
Yes.
Yeah, this is not a game.
Oh, this is an actual thing.
They're lined up backstage, all of them.
[LAUGHTER]
Can you imagine if one of them walked out?
OK, Khloé Kardashian, Jennifer Aniston.
I'm going to stick with Khloé Kardashian.
Jennifer Aniston, yeah, no, I'm going to stick with Khloé.
I'm still into the action.
I'm in the action.
Good, all right, I'm going to work this out for you.
Right.
All right.
Oh, now I jump, Nicki Minaj.
[LAUGHTER]
Yeah, no, Nicki Minaj.
But--
No, because like Khloé could be too much drama,
but it's not controlled drama.
With Nicki, we can rap together.
We can do the whole thing.
OK.
Yeah, and if she wants me, that means
that her buns want some from my Anaconda, so we're rolling.
[APPLAUSE]
I'm with Nicki.
Didn't think we'd be talking about your Anaconda,
but all right, let's see Nicki and--
Ariana Grande.
No, because then I'll be in a song.
No, not in a bad way.
I just-- I don't--
You don't want to be in a song?
Yeah, I don't want to be like in the thank you, next.
And then it's going to be like--
Nicki Minaj!
Nicki is the winner.
I get Nicki Minaj?
You get her.
[APPLAUSE]
Nicki, come on out.
All right, Nicki is putting on that outfit
and she'll be waiting in your dressing room.
Thank you, Ellen.
You're welcome.
Thank you.
You're welcome.
If you change your mind about hanging out
with the Kardashians, I can hook that up for you.
I think you're being serious.
Yeah, I am being serious.
Oh wow.
Yeah, name which one and what you want to do.
[LAUGHTER]
So I can call Kris and ask her.
OK.
All right?
OK, I'll write out a wish list, I guess.
Yeah, it has to go through Kris, but I think I can handle it.
OK.
All right.
You're being very serious.
Yeah.
And I don't know what to do with this.
I know.
Let me know.
I'll let you know.
All right, On Second Thought, the Trevor Noah podcast
launches the week of April 23 on Luminary.
We'll be right back.
Trevor Noah.