-And Jess and I have been together since --
We've been dating or best friends
since she was 15 and I was 16.
So literally half our life.
-I remember he was, like, the first boy I ever had a crush on.
I knew, I was like, "I'm gonna marry that guy."
And he didn't like me because I was the younger sister.
He finally saw the light.
I'm actually the only person he's ever dated.
-Ryan and Jessica, you are the real deal.
You are the true love story.
You're an inspiration for what love should be.
Thank you for showing that
to all in our community and to me and my best friend.
-My name is Ryan Woods.
I have a glioblastoma tumor in my spine.
The doctors say I have one to four months to live.
I think it might be longer.
-I know we always refer to it as our cancer, but...
-Our doctors, our cancer.
-Our doctors, our this, our that, yeah.
-It's -- We're in this together.
We have very few memories or experiences that aren't shared.
So the idea of her doing any part of life without me,
you know, or me without her, is --
I mean, is literally unimaginable,
because we've always done life together.
It's weird.
Amy Jane, you gonna help me mix?
-You want to come in and help me make breakfast?
[ Indistinct talking ]
-Stop!
[ Dog barks ]
-All right, to school we go.
This was -- This is ridiculously shocking. [ Chuckles ]
We have no cancer history whatsoever in my family.
The type of cancer I have is incredibly rare, anyways.
You know, I'm young, healthy.
I bike ride a lot. We walk everywhere.
Up until I got cancer, I was skinny and scrawny.
You know, I mean, in a healthy way. [ Laughs ]
It's like, we do everything you're supposed to do
to be healthy and to not be sick and to not have cancer.
-So, he had surgery exactly a year ago today.
When he came out of surgery,
he was paralyzed from the waist down.
And in December, he got really sick.
Like, that was when I was like,
"Oh, I think my husband's dying."
It was just this huge awakening of,
"I think you need to start working --
holding this -- holding this reality.
It might not happen -- but at least being willing to go there.
-I would much rather be the person dying
than the people who are living, who are left behind.
I think I have it easy.
I'm not -- I'm not scared of dying whatsoever.
I get to be reminded and remind other people
that -- that death isn't -- death is not anything, you know?
Death is just another part of our story,
and it's a -- it's a terrible -- I mean, death is terrible.
But it's not something to be feared, you know?
-Really, even though our story's hard
and our story has lots of pieces that are messy and tragic --
just really tragic --
I think there's just so many things that are beautiful
and there are so many things that are life-giving
and not just about death.
And the way people have interacted with us
and the way that people have loved us
and the way that we've grown through this, you know...
-So, tonight, they're gonna have a roast and toast of me.
So what they're gonna do is, everyone's gonna come together,
all our friends and family and stuff,
and they're gonna tell stories
and they're gonna tell stories that are funny for the roast
and they're gonna tell stories that are serious and nice
for the toast.
-We don't have too much to tell you.
I don't know how to be a dad
when I'm talking in a falsetto voice.
[ Laughter and applause ]
-I will be positive to a fault.
And, actually, the thing is, I actually really believe it.
[ Laughs ]
Not artificially positive, but I will be --
I see the world through rose-colored glasses.
-Ryan would occasionally come over and say, "Hey."
You know, that was the extent of our relationship, you know?
But he's kind of like a fungus. [ Laughter ]
You know, he kind of grows on you.
And, you know, in kind of a good way, you know?
Maybe like a parasite. Maybe that's a better term.
-It's kind of like a -- like a tumor growth or something.
[ Laughter ] -You could phrase it that way.
-One thing that my daughter constantly reminds me of,
anytime that she starts to be sad
or I'm sad about leaving her, she always reminds --
She's like, "Well, but, Daddy,
we're only gonna be separate for a little while."
She said, "Well, okay, maybe it'll be a long time
'cause I've got a long life to live."
She's like, "I need to learn how to drive,
I need to -- I need to get married."
-So I think what we've decided,
he's doing birthday cards for several years.
-So they'll get a birthday card at every birthday.
-And, then, like a present when they're 16.
And then he's just having a binder
that he's putting stories and memories of them.
Like, "What was it like when I was born?"
Things about him as a child.
Just lots of memories and stories,
and we're just gonna have a binder for each of them.
-Just gonna give it to them.
And they can access it as they want, you know?
So they're in control of how much they want to remember Dad
and when they want to remember Dad, you know?
I don't have many memories of when I was 4 years old.
And so to think of my 4-year-old daughter
and what she will or won't remember of me
is a scary thought --
to think that I, in a lot of ways,
will be a shadow in her memory.
[ Chuckles ]
'Cause they know how hard this is for you guys, huh?
To have your daddy be sick and to have your daddy dying.
They know how hard it is,
and so they want to do a special party just for the kids.
-I hope it's in summer vacation. -It will be.
I would just invite anyone who watches this video
to live into this reality that we're all dying.
It's a clichéd statement, but if you're the one --
I'm actually dying, so I can say that.
I can say cliché statements, right?
We're all in the process of dying.
So the question is,
what kind of story are we gonna live out as we're dying?
And we just invite people to live out a beautiful story,
to live out their life, make beautiful music,
regardless of what kind
of brokenness they have to deal with.
And on our journey toward death, which is inevitable,
we have an opportunity to -- to let a beautiful story be told.
And I think it's up to us
to allow that story to become something beautiful.
And I hope that I get really embarrassed, you know,
if I don't die in one to four months,
and, you know, you guys did all these things because I'm dying.
[ Laughter ]
And, you know, and then I don't die. That'd be awesome.
I would love to feel awkward because of that.
[ Laughter, cheers, applause ]
-Bye, Dad!
-I'll see you in a second. [ Laughs ]
-[ Laughs ]
-Hey. So, the people over at SoulPancake
have invited me to ask you to do something in my name.
So here's the request.
I want to invite you to cultivate
a sense of love and community
where you live, where you work, and where you play.
For us, it's been as simple
as shopping locally at the same stores over and over again.
It's meant that we drink lots of coffee
as we go to the same café over and over again.
And it means that we have people over for meals often,
whether it's a large community meal
or just one family coming over.
For you, it's gonna be something completely different
because of your own imagination and your own context.
So, would you please mind sending in videos or pictures
or stories of what it looks like in your context
to commit to a life of love and connection where you live,
where you work, and where you play?
Be exciting to see a movement start, wouldn't it? Thanks.