James: GOOD EVENING LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, WELCOME TO, "THE LATE
LATE SHOW."
THANK YOU FOR BEING HERE.
I'M GOING TO LEVEL WITH YOU, IT IS THE NIGHT BEFORE
THANKSGIVING, WE'RE A LITTLE GITE.
A FEW PEOPLE IN HERE HAVE HAD A COUPLE OF DRINKS.
WHEN I SAY A FEW DRINKS, THAT MEANS A STRONG MAJORITY
INCLUDING-- INCLUDING.
ALTHOUGH I JUST ASKED, JUST OVER HERE, RIGHT BEFORE WE STARTED
THE SHOW I SAID WHAT ARE YOU DRENGING.
AND HE SAID I THINK-- HE SAID WHISKEY.
WHISKEY GINGER, AND I WAS LIKE AND THEN HE SENT A TESSK, AND
SAID I DISAPPROVE.
HE SENT A TESS TEXT I DIDN'T UNDERSTAND IT.
HE SAID WHAT IS THE PROBLEM, ARE WE NOT ABLE TO DRIJ HERE ANY
MORE AFTER ERNIE'S NOTE.
WHICH I KNOW NOTHING-- THE FIRST I HAVE EVER-- WHAT IS ERNIE'S
NOTE.
>> THERE IS A BIG VIACOMCBS NOTE THAT WENT OUT TALKING ABOUT
DRINKING IN THE WORKPLACE.
AND ERNIE FORWARDED IT TO EVERYBODY ON THE STAFF AND CREW.
>> James: YOU JUST HAD A DRINK WITH ME.
IT IS THE NIGHT BEFORE THANKSGIVING, ME AND ROB JUST
HAD A TEQUILA IN MY OFFICE.
WHY DIDN'T I GET ERNIE'S NOTE.
>> WE-- YOU DON'T READ THOSE EMAILS.
>> James: MY CBS EMAILS.
>> YOU WANT ME TO READ-- .
>> James: SO ERNIE IS SAYING.
>> IT IS NOT ERNIE SAYING IT.
>> James: NO, I THINK IT'S ERNIE.
LET'S MAKE IT, FOR THE PURPOSES OF THIS.
DID YOU GET THIS eMATE MAIL FROM ERNIE?
S READ ANG EMAIL SAYING YOU CAN'T DRINK AT WORK IS LIKE
SAYING YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO BREATHE WITHIN TELEVISION CITY.
LET'S HAVE A LOOK AND SEE WHO IS ON THE SHOW TONIGHT.
HE'S ONE OF OUR ABSOLUTE FAVORITES, AND 25 YEARS AGO, ON
"INDEPENDENCE DAY," HE SAVED THE HUMAN RACE FROM AN ALIEN
INVASION.
DO YOU REMEMBER THAT?
DO YOU REMEMBER THAT.
I FEEL LIKE JEFF GOLD BLUNL-- GOLDBLUM DOESN'T GET
THE.
>> NONE OF WEUS BE HERE.
>> IT WAS A MOVIE.
>> INDEPENDENCE DAY WAS A DOCUMENTSARY.
>> YEAH.
>> James: LIKE IT IS EXTRAORDINARY WHAT HE DID AND I
FEEL LIKE IT'S OVERLOOKED.
>> AND IT GOES DOUBLE FOR JUD HEARST.
>> James: YEAH, JUD HIRSH UNBELIEVABLE.
IF ANYONE GETS THE CREDIT IS WILL SMITH, HE WAS JUST A YOUNG
GUY, HE DIDN'T EVEN KNOW WHICH WAS WAY WAS FORWARD AND REVERSE.
>> WE COMPLETELY ABANDONED RANDY QUAID.
>> James: A LOT OF THAT IS THROUGH RANDY QUAID.
I FEEL LIKE WE ALL APPRECIATE RANDY, NOW RANDY QUAID IS THE
RUDY GIULIANI OF THAT.
RIGHT?
BUT I CAN'T HELP BUT FEEL WE'VE GONE OFF TOPIC.
WHICH I KNOW IS RARE FOR US ON THIS SHOW, WE ARE NORMALLY LIKE
A SWISS WATCH.
WE JUST-- YOU KNOW, YOU KNOW WHAT YOU ARE GOING TO GET EVERY
NIGHT, THAT IS THE TRUTH OF IT.
IT IS NOT ABOUT YOU.
IT IS NOT ABOUT YOU, IT IS NOT ABOUT YOU, REG, IT IS NOT ABOUT
THE BAND T IS FOLT ABOUT NIBBLES T IS ABOUT THE HEROIC, THE SUB
LIME.
JEFF GOLDBLUM IS HERE TONIGHT.
THERE HE IS.
HOW ARE YOU, JEFF.
>> I'M EXCELLENT, THANK YOU, HOW ARE YOU?
YOU LOOK FANTASTIC.
I THINK THE COLOR OF THAT SUIT IS AUBERGENE, ISN'T IT?
>> James: YEAH, I THERE GIVE YOU THAT, SORT OF EGGPLANT FEEL
TO IT, YEAH.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING.
>> WELL, LOOK, I'M JUST OPENING WHAT YOU GAVE ME, YOU KNOW, AND
BY THE WAY CAN YOU SEE EMILE GOLDBLUM.
>> James: THERE IS EMILY GOLDBLUM.
>> DAVID.
>> James: OH MY GOD.
>> MY HAIR AND MAKEUP.
BUT LOOK, YOU BAIF US THIS GIFT BAG AND THIS IS THE CANDLE I
JUST GOT AND IT SAYS CANNABIS, DOES THAT MEAN IT IS-- .
>> James: IT HAS GOT CANNABIS.
>> IT DOESN'T GET YOU HIGH, DOES IT?
>> James: NOT AS HIGH AS YOU WANT TO BE, NO.
>> WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
THAT'S NOT MY THING, MAN.
>> James: JEFF GOLDBLUM, EVERYBODY.
SHE'S A GOLDEN GLOBE NOMINATED ACTRESS YOU KNOW FROM
"OUTLANDER," "FORD V FERRARI," AND THE NEW AND CRITICALLY
ACCLAIMED, "BELFAST," THE SUREMELY TALENTED, KATRINA
BALFE.
WELL HELLO, HOW ARE YOU?
>> I AM GOAING WELL, HOW ARE YOU.
>> I'M VERY, VERY WELL, WHAT BRINGS YOU HERE CAITRIONA.
>> ST MOTHER'S NIGHT OUT T SAY BEGIN-FLAVORED WATER.
NESS.
>> IS THAT A PROBLEM WITH ERNIE?
>> I THINK IT IS FINE.
>> James: IS THAT GOING TO BE AN ISSUE.
>> SHE'S EXCLUDED.
>> James: ARE YOU SURE THAT IS NOT GOING TO BE AN ISSUE WITH
ERNIE.
>> SHE IS NOT A EMPLOYEE, IT IS OKAY.
>> James: I DON'T WANT THE FUN POLICE TO COME IN HERE AND SHUT
SOME STUFF DOWN.
ERNIE!
>> IT IS AS SICH EL AS THAT, THERE WAS AN EMAIL ABOUT IT,
JAMES.
>> CHEESIER.
>> James: EARNIE DRK DB ROB IS ALSO DRUNK, CATE REENA THANK YOU
FOR BEING HERE.
AND SHE'S A BRILLIANT STAND-UP
COMEDIAN AND THE FIRST WOMAN EVER TO WIN THE JUNO AWARD FOR
BEST CANADIAN COMEDY ALBUM.
WE'RE THRILLED SHE'S HERE PERFORMING FOR US TONIGHT.
IT'S THE WONDERFUL, SOPHIE BUDDLE.
IS HERE TO MAKE YOU LAUGH, EVERYBODY.
SOPHIE, HOW ARE YOU?
>> HI, I'M GREAT, CAN YOU TILL THE OTHER GUESTS THAT I WOULD BE
WILLING TO SELL THEM SOME DRUGS IF THEY NEED ANYTHING?
>> James: WELL, DO YOU KNOW WHAT, YOUR DOOR CONNECTS RIGHT
THERE TO JEFF GOLDBLUM'S DOOR SO LOOK, IF YOU GO IN, IF THE
CAMERA GOES ON, IF YOU KNOCK ON THAT DOOR, THE OTHER DOOR, NO,
BACK IN YOUR ROOM.
CAMERA GO IN.
TURN AROUND.
TURN AROUND, KNOCK ON THAT DOOR BEHIND YOU.
>> JEFF GOLDBLUM, NO, I CAN'T, I CAN'T, I CAN'T.
(LAUGHTER).
>> James: SOPHIE BUDDLE, EVERYBODY.
THIS IS IT, TOMORROW IS THANKS GIVING.
TOMORROW IS THANKSGIVING.
SO, FOR ALL OF YOU VISITING FAMILY RIGHT NOW, THAT MEANS
YOU'RE PROBABLY WATCHING THIS IN YOUR OLD CHILDHOOD BEDROOM, OR
ON YOUR PHONE, IN THE BATHROOM WHILE HIDING FROM YOUR FAMILY.
WE'RE GOING FOR IT TOMORROW, GOING ALL AMERICAN TOMORROW, NO
MESSING AROUND.
AT MY HOUSE, WE'RE GONNA HAVE SUPER SOAKERS FULL OF GRAVY.
WE'RE ABSOLUTELY GOING FOR IT.
REG, WHAT ARE YOUR PLANS FOR THE WHAT ARE YOU, WHAT IS
THANKSGIVING FOR YOU, REG.
>> Reggie: MONTANA.
>> James: YEAH?
>> Reggie: YEAH, GREAT FALLS, MONTANA.
>> James: GO WITH YOUR CAT, AND MOM HANDLING OUT.
>> Reggie: AS ALWAYS.
>> James: AS PER, THAT IS THE TRADITION.
WHAT ABOUT YOU, IAN, WHAT IS HAPPENING IN THE KARMEL
HOUSEHOLD.
>> GOING TO OREGON AND IT IS WILL BE A GREAT EVENTMENT I
CAN'T WAIT.
I'M PUTTING IT ON EVERYTHING THIS YEAR.
IT'S GOING ON FOOD THAT DPTD NORNL 58LY HAVE GRAVY ON T APPLE
PIE, PUMPKIN PIE, WATER, A SPLASH OF GRAVY.
I'MED READY, DUDE.
I HAVE BEEN REAL GOOD FOODWISE FOR A LEGAL LONG TIME.
I MISSED THANKSGIVING LAST YEAR, I BECAUSE OF THE YN GOING
PANDEMIC.
AND THIS YEAR, IT'S GOING TO BE A MUD BALT.
NICK I IMAGINE ARE YOU IN THE OFFICE ON THANKSGIVING, ARE YOU?
>> I IMAGINE YOU WILL BE IN HERE DEALING WITH SALES.
>> NO, I WILL BE IN UPSTATE NEW YORK.
>> James: YOU FLY TONIGHT AFTER THE SHOW.
>> LET'S SAY YES.
, LET'S SAY I AM-- .
>> James: I DON'T KNOW WHERE I A WITH YOU.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE I AM WITH YOU.
>> WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
>> James: WELL, WHEN I SAY OH, WE'RE DOUBLE TAPING THE SHOW,
REPEAT ON FLY, I DON'T HAVE TO SEE YOU, CAN I FEEL YOUR EYES
ROLLING AS I SAY THAT.
>> GREAT.
>> James: I SEE IT IT UNDER THE MASK.
AND NOW I GET IF BED WITH YOU AND I'M LIKE OH, YOU ARE GOING
TO FLY TONIGHT, AND ARE YOU LIKE NO, THIS IS LAST WEEK.
BUT YOU ADMIT WHENEVER I SAY WE ARE LITERALLY ON TV RIGHT NOW T
IS NEXT WEEK.
I LISTEN TO THIS, [BLEEP] AND THE ONE TIME I PLAY YOUR GAME,
ARE YOU FLYING ON THE AFTER THE SHOW.
LET'S SAY YES.
IMPORK IT'S IMPOSSIBLE, IMPOSSIBLE TO KNOW WHERE YOU
STAND.
IMPOSSIBLE TO KNOW WHERE YOU STAND.
AND I THINK YOUR ON A KNIFE'S EDGE EF RADIO HE DAY.
NOT KNOWING WHICH NICK IS COMING HOME.
IS IT FIGHTING NICK OR A A NICK WEARING A PAIR OF UNDERWEAR ON
HIS FACE.
TOO MUCH, TOO HCH?
>> ST NEVER ENOUGH AS FAR AS I'M CONCERNED.
>> James: YEAH, WHAT IS-- ARE YOU.
>> I AM STAYING HERE AT A FRIEND'S HOUSE.
BUT HAVE I TO-- .
>> James: HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT IT.
>> I'M A LITTLE NERVOUS.
>> James: HOW ARE YOU GOING TO DO IT.
>> I THINK I WILL DO TRADITIONAL-- I WILL LOOK IT IT
UP THE NIGHT BEFORE.
>> James: YOU WANT TO KNOW MY TIP.
>> YEAH.
>> James: HOW BIG IS THE TURKEY.
>> 12 POUNDS.
>> James: SO LIKE THREE QUARTERS OF A BLOCK OF BUTTER.
SALT, PEPPER, GRATE THE NUTMEG.
ONION ON, SEPARATE THE SKIN FROM-- PUT THAT UNDER THE
BREAST, ANYTHING ELSE JUST GET IT ALL RIGHT IN.
LIKE A WRAP WRITE RED ONION, CELERY, GARLIC.
THAT ON THE BOTTOM, OLIVE OIL.
LEMON, ROSEMARY, SAGE.
GET THAT, BREATHE IN.
FOIL T FOR THE THREE HOUR, TAKE IT OFF FOR THE LAST 45 MINUTE,
LET THAT TURKEY SCAN FOR AT LEAST AN HOUR, SERIOUS.
YOU GOT IT TO LET THAT TURKEY STAND FOR AN HOUR, THEN TAKE IT
OUT OF THE OVEN, BACK IN OIL, TEA TOWEL ON TOP, THAT BIRD WILL
STAY FOR 90 MINUTES AND BY THE TIME YOU GET IT ALL THE JUICE,
OKAY.
(APPLAUSE) (APPLAUSE).
>> James: YOU DO THAT.
YOU HONESTLY CAN'T GO WRONG.
>> I HAVE SEEN YOU JUMP OUT OF A PLANE WITH TOM KREUS, SING IN A
CAR WITH ADELE AND HAVE NEVER BEEN MORE IMPRESSED THAN I AM
RIGHT NOW.
>> James: WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH MORE OF THE "LATE, LATE
SHOW."